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What lessons can we learn from “The Audacity to Be Queen” by Gina DeVee, and how can we implement them? I’ve got the answer, along with awesome quotes! So make sure to check out all the lessons.
If you like this book review, you should check out the others as well:
Read also: Atomic Habits Book Review | 15 Lessons + Actionable Ideas + Quotes
Read also: How to Be an Overnight Success Book Review | Lessons + Quotes
And of course, make sure to check my ever-growing Reading List for Personal Growth for great book ideas.
1. Your little-girl-dreams can guide you to your purpose
“And it begins with those little-girl dreams. What were they? For most women I know, these are the memories you can turn to that leave plenty of clues on where to begin today. The first step is to explore what your desires were and likely still are, whether on a hobby basis or full-blown life-purpose path.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the ordinary life path of ‘finish school, go to college, find a stable job, work until retirement’ that we don’t even know what makes us truly happy.
Often the things that light us up inside have been with us since our childhood.
If you can rediscover what they are, you are better equipped to build a life you truly love.
#1 Actionable Idea
Take out your journal and write down a list of things that have never failed to excite you over the years.
It can be as simple as a Star Wars or Barbie obsession throughout childhood. Or maybe there have been moments of utter chaos around you, where everyone freaked out, but you just glowed inside and slipped into hustle mode.
Write down anything you can think of, no matter how insignificant it may seem.
Once you have your list, look at each item individually and at them all collectively.
Try to find an underlying reason or even pattern that made you like these things.
Maybe your love for Star Wars has a lot to do with your loving fighting techniques. You might want to check out Martial Arts.
Perhaps you’ve always wanted to write stories as you were little. That might indicate that a career with lots of creative writing could fulfill you.
And if you combine these two, perhaps you could start blogging about martial arts and see where it leads you.
Just make sure to not disregard your childhood dreams. There is gold to be found in them.
2. You have to ask to receive – converse with the Universe
“The more you converse with Spirit, the more clear and less confused you’ll be.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
Yes, you are allowed to ask! Not just when it’s urgent but for small things as well.
This has been a massive mindset shift for me.
Before, I would only ask things from the Universe that were urgent or important.
I had never really considered that I could simply converse with the Universe – beyond thanking it for all the blessings in my life – about my doubts, hopes, worries, and joys.
It had felt almost selfish to bother the Universe with such mundane things and ask for help in having a productive day.
“The Audacitiy to Be Queen” taught me, that it’s anything but selfish. In fact, conversing with the Universe/Source/God as you would with a close friend will only strengthen your relationship with It.
#2 Actionable Idea
Try to incorporate conversations with the Universe into your day. Talk/Think/Write about how you are feeling, what you are planning, and hoping for.
In the beginning, you will easily forget to have these conversations, so make sure to block some time each day for it.
You could turn it into a journaling session, for example: Sit down with your journal for 15 minutes and write a letter to the Universe/Source/God.
If you are still unsure how to do this and the whole idea feels weird, I highly recommend reading “The Audacitiy to Be Queen.” Gina DeVee has included many lengthy examples of her prayers/conversations with God.
Reading them truly inspired me. Because I’ve incorporated more conversations like these into my day, I feel so much more spiritually aligned and connected with the Universe these days.
I feel genuinely supported, and it’s the most beautiful feeling!
3. Heal your Injured Feminine Instinct
“This is femininity: Major attraction power. Receiving miracles as a way of life. And big results accomplished from a pleasurable place.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
During the last century, women have painstakingly fought their way through sexism to achieve their own success in this world.
Women needed to be seen just as tough as men to be taken seriously.
Nowadays, we are thankfully already very close to gender equality in many societies.
This allows us, women, to finally shed our masculine way of hustling and heal our injured feminine instinct.
Because the thing is, while taking action is a necessary part of success, it is not the only part of it.
We can often achieve even more significant success if we dial back on the hustling and instead focus on aligning our energy with our goals and opening ourselves up to receiving miracles.
#3 Actionable Idea
In many of us, there are habits ingrained that injure our feminine energy.
It is important to find role models that embody the divine feminine energy in action to help us let go of them.
Two boss babes whose content has brought me a long way are Kimberley Wenya and Monica Yates. Each of them has a fantastic podcast, and I highly recommend you to check them out!
4. Wanting something is not enough
“There’s a big difference between wanting something and becoming unavailable to not have it.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
Doesn’t everybody want more money, a more sexy body, effortless style, and a dream lifestyle?
There are multiple reasons only a tiny fraction of these people actually end up getting what they want.
One of them is that they take their wish a step further and become unavailable to not having it in their life.
Just think about something essential in your life that you wouldn’t ever consider having to live without – say, food, water, shelter, clothes, wifi, phone.
These are all things you most likely find unacceptable to live without. Now imagine the kind of action you would take to get them back if you suddenly found yourself without those very things.
It would be massive action! You wouldn’t just sit around wasting time on designing a perfect plan to get them back; you would go out there and take the most miserable job that’s offered to you just so you have enough money to buy these things.
You would get resourceful and come up with all kinds of ways to make money or trade something to get these things back.
In simple terms, you would not accept staying in your current situation forever.
That’s the power of turning your wishes into non-negotiables. You end up making different decisions and finding motivation and resources where before there were none.
#4 Actionable Idea
Get out your journal and write in the present tense about a day in your life in which the goal of your choice is non-negotiable.
Write about how normal it is for you to have or experience these things.
Furthermore, go out and practice feeling unavailable for a life without your goal.
Say your goal is being a successful entrepreneur. How would you act in a café if you were entirely sure of your identity as a successful entrepreneur?
Would you sit more upright? Would you smile more to yourself whenever you hear someone moaning about their job because you’ve created your dream job for yourself?
Try to incorporate an attitude of ‘of course I am successful; I wouldn’t expect anything less considering the effort I put in.‘
If you find it hard to do so, think about some fictional characters that act like they own the world (I’m thinking of Mona from PLL or Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl) and try to slip into their role.
This is called The Alter Ego Effect, and it works wonders!
5. Closed doors are guiding signs
“Queens realize that a seemingly closed door is actually spiritual guidance to move in a new direction.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
It can be very demotivating and frustrating when you miss out on an opportunity.
Many people get hung up on that one missed opportunity and are morning it for years to come when there was a much better opportunity waiting for them in reality.
The thing about opportunities is that you need to be open to them to take hold of them.
If you obsess about a missed chance, you will miss the opportunity the Universe is trying to guide you to.
Queens know that and therefore try to move on from missed opportunities or failure in search of a new door that they know will open for them soon.
#5 Actionable Idea
Start to build confidence into the guidance of the Universe by creating a list of instances where one door closed only for a better to open.
Every time you realize in a retrospective that your second chance was way better than your first could have ever been, add that to the list.
Whenever you miss out on an opportunity, take out the list and let it reassure you that something better is on its way to you.
The Universe is conspiring in your favor!
6. Envy teaches what is meant for you
“Remember that seeing what you desire in someone else is a sign that you’re meant to experience your own version of the same thing. And for a good reason.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
Envy can be an ugly feeling. Some people get entirely overtaken by it and start to hate the person they are envying. Others suffer in silence.
Many don’t realize that envy is one of the best eye-openers we can experience.
Whenever we experience envy toward someone’s accomplishments or their life in general, it means that we really want to be like them.
Envy shows us what goals we should pursue. What kind of life is meant for us.
By contrast, if you are in college, studying towards a degree, and don’t envy anyone with the career you are pursuing, you might want to overthink if you are on the right path.
Read also: 8 Simple Ways To Overcome Envy
#6 Actionable Idea
Make a list of people that you envy and why exactly you envy them.
This second part might take some soul searching, and you must get to the core of it.
Because sometimes, you might realize that you are envying someone for a completely different reason than you initially thought.
Let’s say, for example, you envy a singer. Does that automatically mean you should be a singer yourself? No, not if you don’t even like singing or performing or screaming fans.
If you go deeper, you might find that what you really envy about this singer is his ability to lovingly connect so many different people over a shared passion.
This answer might seem less helpful than you anticipated, but it will be one of many guiding signs on the way to your dream life.
7. Be direct and honest
“Practice being direct, and your Sweet Talking confrontation style will be released. The less you couch your words in fearful fluff and flattery, the more your message will be received and accepted.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
I find it baffling how much drama could have been avoided by being straightforward from the get-go.
Yes, many of us don’t want to step on feet and upset people. But our sweet-talking and white lies end up upsetting the person that should matter most to us: yourself!
You are of most use to others and the world if you are your happy and authentic self. So stop bending backward trying to make others happy.
If they are displeased by you being honest or saying no, then that’s on them and has nothing to do with you (as long as you didn’t pack that honesty into bitchiness).
Start practicing kind honesty from this day on as much as you can.
#7 Actionable Idea
Create a list or find a jar to keep track of every lie you’ve told.
This includes saying yes when you really don’t feel like it or not speaking up about your friend’s upsetting behavior.
The quicker the list grows or the jar fills, the more work you have left to do.
8. Intelligence and Talent are not necessary for success (though they certainly help)
“Success has never been about being smarter or more talented. It’s about being certain in one’s singular mission.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
Maybe at this point, it goes without saying, considering the many successful people that are not particularly smart, but brains aren’t everything in the pursuit of success!
Sure, it depends on the kind of success you are going after. I think we can all agree that it’s reasonable to want surgeons, pilots, lawyers, and engineers to be sufficiently intelligent.
But considering the infinite ways one can be successful career-wise, it is safe to say that you shouldn’t worry yourself too much about intelligence or talent.
#8 Actionable Idea
Start collecting stories of successful people who are not extraordinarily intelligent or talented.
Whenever you feel yourself in doubt over your lack of abilities, go back to this collection.
9. Don’t underestimate the power of leaving your house
“Instead she decided to stop isolating. A Queen must not underestimate the power of leaving the house.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
“”You’ll get to make awesome friends later,” says the Loner, “once you’ve made your money and established yourself.” It sounds logical, though deep down, we’re in pain because we know it’s not our truth. It’s the Injured Feminine Instinct all over again.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
This last quote really hit it on the head for me.
I do need to remind myself from time to time that I shouldn’t postpone awesome friends until my success hits.
Changing your mindset to being open for awesome friends now is more important than actually putting yourself out there and hunting for them.
You can hunt all you want, but if your mindset is stuck in Loner-mode, you will never attract awesome friends.
However, as soon as you change your mindset and align yourself energetically with the Queens you are hoping to befriend, the Universe provides you with the most unexpected opportunities to do so.
#9 Actionable Idea
Appreciate the friends you already have. Focus on the traits of them that you wish in your future friends as well.
Whatever you focus on and appreciate, you attract more of.
When the time is right, you will come across people that are more aligned with your values. If you are receptive to receiving their friendships, you will soon have a powerful community of Queens forcing you to level up in every way.
10. Masculine structure allows the feminine to thrive
“It’s the masculine container that allows the feminine to be creative, fun, and playful!”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
Masculine and feminine energy is not a matter of ‘either/or’. Both exist inside of you, and only if you balance them out will you fully thrive.
So don’t throw your masculine hustler and planner mode entirely into the bin in favor of flowing through life like a fairy.
The feminine needs masculine structure to safely express itself without tumbling all over the place.
This masculine structure should not just be provided by the men in your life.
This structure must be nurtured by yourself as well.
#10 Actionable Idea
I balance my two energies out through my daily routine or, better lack thereof.
I know precisely what I need/want to do in a day; however, I don’t block out and dedicate exact times for it in my schedule.
Instead, I allow my feminine instinct to guide me into what task I should do next. For example, I recently felt like working on my business from 10-12 am instead of 2-4 pm.
That meant I simply switched my business and study session around instead of forcing myself to do it in a specific predetermined order.
I can approach my day spontaneously like that because I’ve planned beforehand what needs to get done and how long it’ll take.
I’ve set the masculine structure in place and defined the borders in which the feminine can roam freely.
Another example is my workout routine.
I know when I’ll work out, and I am committed to working out. But I’ll decide on the mood of the day, what exercises I will do, and for how long.
Where could you create a masculine container in your day to let the feminine run wild without worries?
11. The desire for fame is nothing to be ashamed of
“For driven, spiritual women like us, being lit up about fame is because we’re lit up about growth and contribution.”
– Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be Queen)
For some reason, our societies look up to celebrities while voicing a desire to be famous is often considered shameful.
It’s time we modern women own up to our desire for fame. It’s time we recognize it for all the underlying desires within:
- The desire to grow into a significant woman.
- The desire to contribute to others.
- The desire to be financially safe.
#11 Actionable Idea
Take out your journal and write about your desire for fame.
Why do you want to be famous?
How famous do you wish to be?
How would your daily life change if you were famous?
How would you use your fame?
Discover the underlying goal of your desire for fame and work through any residual guilt.
Well, what do you think?
Does “The Audacity to Be Queen” sound like a book you will pick up soon?
Or did you perhaps already read it? If so, what’s next on your list?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Sophie
