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Confidence is one of those crucial skills you need to develop if you want to be successful in life. But this is nothing new to you, right? We all know the importance of confidence, yet for many of us, it seems very hard to be confident.
But what is confidence? Confidence means that you love, accept and trust yourself – your abilities, qualities, and ideas – completely.
Confidence is not something you are born with, it can be developed. But it can also be lost! So you always need to work on it!
The following tips should help you tap into your confident self. Enjoy!
1. Know that people care less than you think
Something that is intertwined with confidence is caring what other people think about you.
The more confident you are, the less you care what other people think of you and vice-versa.
One thing that we should always remember is that nobody thinks about us as much as we ourselves do.
In reality, everybody’s primary concern is themselves.
So, don’t worry about what people think of you. Chances are they either didn’t even notice that you did something “weird” or they forgot about it within a few hours.
Never feel insecure because what other people might think!
If you want more tips on how to stop caring what other people think of you, check out my article on that.
2. Know that nobody is perfect
Most of the time we are our harshest critic. We often diminish our confidence by negative self-talk.
Try to catch yourself thinking those negative thoughts.
No, you are NOT stupid!
You are NOT clumsy!
Yes, you might have messed up. So what? Millions of people mess up daily.
This is part of being human. We are not perfect.
Therefore stop being unfair to yourself! You wouldn’t criticize your best friend like that, would you?
Accept your failings, your imperfections and move on confidently, knowing that nobody is perfect!
3. Dress to impress
We are always told not to judge a book by its cover. And in theory, we all try not to do that.
But in reality, our first impression of a person is gravely shaped by the first data we get from them. And often this is a visual impression, in the form of body language, hair, hygiene, and clothes.
Since we all want to make an excellent first impression, we feel insecure whenever we are not happy with our appearance.
Wearing clothes, you feel comfortable and maybe even sexy in can boost your confidence tremendously!
The same goes for your hair. Try to get a haircut regularly and invest a little bit time into learning how to do hairstyles that put your hair in order.
Take care of your personal hygiene. Shower regularly, cut your nails, shave and take care of your skin. If you feel fresh and clean, you will feel more comfortable in your own skin.
And last but not least, take care of your body. Move daily, eat healthy food, straighten your posture and do regular check-ups with the doctor.
In total, feel confident in your own skin!
Some of these changes you can do immediately, others will take more time. But all of them are going to make you feel confident!
4. Positive affirmations
Yes, it is cheesy, but it works.
The power of positive self-talk has been proven scientifically. By now, psychologists and psychiatrists use it to help their patients fight depression.
And I am sure you heard some life coaches talk about affirmations, too.
If you have never done it before, saying affirmations will not feel very comfortable at first. But have patience.
You don’t need to shout them out loud, standing in superman pose in front of the mirror.
You can whisper them. Or you can think them quietly in your head.
Particularly the morning right after you wake up is a good time to affirm yourself. That way you will already start your day off great.
Another way is to create visual reminders for yourself. Write a Post-it with an affirmation and put it somewhere you are going to see it every day.
You could also let your phone remind you at specific hours every day of a positive affirmation.
As I said, you don’t need to be crazy about it. Just do what feels comfortable to you. It will subconsciously make you feel better about yourself.
5. List things you love about yourself
As mentioned above, we tend to criticize ourselves day in day out. We always focus on the negative stuff.
My nose is too big.
I have oily skin.
Why am I so tall?
For a change, try to focus on the things you love about yourself.
Start every day by listing at least three things you like about yourself.
I love how my freckles make me look cute.
I am so grateful to be small. I never have to worry about legroom.
I adore my curly hair.
Try to list different things every day. With every new item, you will feel a bit more confident.
6. Be around uplifting people
I’m sure you have watched a few funny interviews with celebrities, haven’t you? Did it make you smile watching them joke around? Did it lift your mood?
I am also sure you experienced the following situation: You are incredibly excited about something and want to share it with a friend or a family member. But as you reach them, you realize they are in a foul mood. They simply are not as happy as you are about this thing you wanted to share with them.
Within minutes if not seconds your mood dropped significantly.
Moods are contagious. And we all want to be in a good mood. Especially to be confident you should be in a good mood. Or have you ever met a super confident person that seemed listless?
You are the average of the five people you spent the most time with.
So look around you and name those five people. Are they usually in a good or in a bad mood? Are they energized to tackle life or do they dread everything?
Try to find friends who make you feel energized and confident.
Friends that lift you up and support you with your dreams instead of friends who are judging every step you make.
I know that this can be especially difficult with family members since we all do not want to abandon them from one day to the other.
But maybe do try to spend a bit less time with them. Or include a third person, who also is of the uplifting kind.
Alternatively, you can also train yourself to some extent that their words and their mood pass right through you.
But beware, that will only work to some extent!
7. Broaden your horizon
The more you know about different topics, the more confident you will feel when talking to different people.
It will become easier to communicate for you in every situation.
Of course, you can be confident around subjects you know nothing about.
We all know that one person who knows next to nothing but acts like they have been teaching the subject for years.
But the more you actually do know, the easier it will be for you to feel confident.
So educate yourself! If will also help you in every other area of life.
Read also: 18 Powerful Personal Growth Ideas
8. Act as if
You might also call this “fake it until you make it”. The principle is easy. Act as if you already were confident.
Ask yourself, how would I act if I were confident? Surprisingly, it is quite easy to act like that once you know what it is.
Try to imitate confident people. How are they behaving?
Especially look for their body language. Confident people stand straight, head held high and walk calmly.
You can actually influence your emotions my imitating the body movements that come with them.
For example, if you smile for a few minutes, your mood will lift, regardless of how stupid you might feel doing it.
The same works for confidence through adapting the right posture.
Presentation coaches teach their clients to stand in an empowering pose, right before an interview or a presentation.
An example would be the superman pose, where you stand wide legged, breast thrust forward, head held high and your hands on your waist.
I know that the Superman pose might not be for everyone, but you can make subtle body posture changes during your day that will improve your self-confidence.
Simply pull your shoulders back a bit and walk more assured. See what a difference it can make!
The same goes for your voice.
Don’t mumble, don’t whisper and don’t speak with a high voice as if it were a question. Try to talk calmly and with a stable voice.
With time this will become your second nature. You won’t have to act confident anymore, you will become confident!
9. Track your accomplishments
We accomplish so much in a day, yet we can think of so little whenever we look back at our day.
Start to track your accomplishments, your little milestones.
Once you realize how much you accomplish on a day to day basis, you will feel proud and competent.
Knowing you are able to get stuff done will increase your confidence.
10. Step out of your comfort zone little by little
Confidence is a muscle. It gets stronger by use.
Just like with your physical workout, you always have to push yourself a bit beyond the pain point to see growth happening.
Of course, this can be incredibly daunting, so you want to do it little by little.
Analyze your current confidence level. When do you lack confidence? This is your starting point.
Find little things each week that you can do although you feel insecure.
If you push your comfort zone just once a week. Within a year you will have moved 52 steps closer to your confident self!
11. Give compliments and help others
We all love to receive compliments. If somebody compliments your outfit, you are probably happy about that for the rest of the day if not much longer.
However, not only receiving but also giving compliments makes us happy.
There is just something about being altruistic that makes humans feel good about themselves.
Furthermore, complimenting others makes you feel less envious. You need to be content with yourself to overcome envy and give compliments.
I also believe that this starts a positive feedback loop. The more people compliment each other, the more people become happy and confident enough to compliment others.
It can build itself up in a loop and increase to a truly happy and confident society.
Obviously, we are still far away from that. But I believe every single one of us can contribute to this end goal and feel good while doing so.
Read also: 8 Ways To Provide Value To The World
12. Be yourself!
Stop trying to be someone you simply are not.
You will never be able to truly feel confident about yourself if you keep disguising your real character.
Start being unapologetically yourself.
And if you don’t like certain things about yourself, you can always improve.
The key is not just to act like you are different. You need to change within not only on the outside.
Sure this will take longer than just acting like you are a different version of yourself, but you will feel much more at peace with it.
If you want a starting point on how to improve yourself, check out my
I listed a ton of self-development books that will help you become your best self in every area of life.
What about you, Felicity Seekers?
How confident are you? And which of these tips are you going to implement into your life?
Also, if you have any other recommendations comment down below.
Since I am also working on being more confident, I’d love to read some of your tips on the topic.
