admin

Decisiveness is one of those critical skills you need to have for success in life.

---

1. Realize that deciding at all is better than choosing perfectly

One of the biggest things that keep us from making decisions quickly is the fear of making the wrong decision.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

– Theodore Roosevelt

Your decision doesn´t need to be perfect. It primarily needs to be made. True leaders do not excel by making the right decision every single time. They stand out by having the habit of making decisions quickly and in the best possible way.

So get rid of that self-sabotaging habit of perfectionism.

2. Eliminate small decisions

We, humans, make endless small decisions throughout the day. You are not aware of it, but studies suggest that the average human makes around 35.000 decisions each day!

Of course, our brain gets a bit more tired after each decision it has to make. So you should not only try to make big decisions at the beginning of the day but also reduce the overall number of small choices you make.

3. Dare to be uncomfortable

If you take comfort out of the decision-making process, things will become much more manageable.

Very often, there is that one decision, we know is logical to make. But it makes us much more uncomfortable than its alternative.

You need to learn to embrace stepping out of your comfort zone and being uncomfortable. That is the only way you will truly grow, and the only way to create the extraordinary life of your dreams.

So once you start to seek out uncomfortableness and shift it from your contra to your pro list, decisiveness will follow.

4. Think long-term

Many people find it daunting to think about the effects a decision will have in the long run.

However, thinking long-term can also boost your decisiveness.

Imagine yourself in five or ten years and look back on the decision you have to make right now. Which one do you think your future self will thank you most for?

5. Realize that not deciding wastes your time

Sometimes we do not decide on something because we tell ourselves that we still have time to do so.

And that might be true, but until you have decided there will always be that little nagging thought in the back of your mind, that will remind you of the open decision.

As soon as you realize how much time of being happy you waste by delaying your decision, being decisive will become much more accessible to you.

6. Analyze why you are undecisive

Sometimes we spend so much time obsessing over a problem without even really knowing what the problem is.

Take a step back, listen to some music, do yoga, meditate, and simply breathe. Then look at the decision you have to make again.

Why is it so hard for you to be decisive? Start a pro-contra list for every choice you have.

Having everything logically and clearly laid out in front of you will do wonders for your decisiveness.

7. Gauge the worst and best case scenario

This one always helps me immensely. And although it seems like a rather obvious thought process, I feel like many people don´t think about it while they desperately try to decide for something.

So for every difficult decision you have to make, think about the best and the worst-case scenario.

Before I started this blog, I did just that.

The best-case scenario would obviously be me becoming financially free, living a life of passion, not having to work a 9-to-5, and traveling the world.

The worst-case scenario would have been that I wasted a few thousand euro, which I could earn back within 1-2 months. But I would have still gotten a ton of experience, and I would have no regrets later on in life.

Putting these two options next to each other, the logical choice seemed evident to me.

8. Set yourself a deadline

This one is important. You can´t ponder over a decision forever! First of all, you are wasting that time being anxious over which decision you should make.

Second of all, many people have made the experience, that quick and intuitive decisions, after having accumulated all the facts, are the best ones.

So once you have all the facts and are ready to decide, set yourself a deadline of 5 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour, or at most a day.

You will feel so much better after having finally made the decision. And then you can go back to enjoying life.

9. Flip a coin

Ok, before you declare me crazy, hear me out. Of course, I do not expect you to make a life decision by merely flipping a coin.

But in some situations, it can be somewhat of a guide.

Flip a coin and look at the result. Do you feel good about it? If not, you probably will quickly change your mind and follow the other option.

So this is some ultimate tool to lure out the decision you feel best with.

---

The next time you struggle to make a decision, put at least one of these tips into action. Some might work better for you than others. But I am convinced that you will find them helpful.

Please, share your results using these tips down below. This will motivate your fellow Felicity Seekers and make the lessons stick in your mind.

As always, I wish you all the happiness and success of the world!

Until next time,

Sophie

Most often in life, it isn’t the circumstances we live under that keep us from living the life of our dreams – although we like to tell ourselves that. No, the thing that keeps us from having success and being happy is our self-sabotaging habits.

If you are reading this, you are a Felicity Seeker like me. Our quest for an extraordinary life forces us to become more self-aware. Therefore, I am sure you already know and have admitted to yourself that you do have self-sabotaging habits.

Maybe you even already got rid of some of them. In that case, congratulations! You are already one step closer to that extraordinary life than most people.

Whether or not you’ve already mastered some of your worst habits, there are most likely always a few of them you still practice.

Transforming self-sabotaging habits into good ones isn’t a one-time task. Throughout your life, you will continue to adopt negative habits unconsciously. That’s completely normal.

---

This page contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product through one of them, I will receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). I only ever recommend products that I have personally used and loved. Thank you for your support!

---

1. Negative Self Talk

Do you ever find yourself saying things like:

• “Oh, I am so clumsy.”
• “I am stupid. How could I do that?”
• “I am simply not smart enough to study that.”
• “Oh, I’ve got absolutely no talent in that.”

If you’ve ever noticed yourself thinking or saying anything like that, you need to STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Through thinking and saying these things, you condition yourself to actually being like that. But you could be so much more!

Jen Sincero first introduced me in her book “You Are A Badass” to the concept that we tell ourselves specific stories.

Unconsciously we do this because we get something out of them. Sometimes they are an excuse for us why we didn’t achieve much. Sometimes we want to get sympathy from others. Or they are simply an excuse for us, why we don’t even need to try something.

One story I found I always tell myself is that I am just not good at learning stuff by heart or that I am simply no auditory learner. As soon as I realised that, I started to stop myself whenever I thought one of these stories. Instead, I would repeat a positive affirmation.

“I can remember things quickly and effortlessly.”

I still haven’t completely overcome that self-sabotaging habit. But from time to time, I do get that glimpse that I am actually capable of studying quickly and effortlessly. So why should I tell myself otherwise?

2. Procrastination

There are countless videos and articles on the internet on how to stop procrastinating and instead hustle until there is no tomorrow. So I don’t want to go into too much detail on that.

I am also sure you already know that you are procrastinating when you are watching Netflix or YouTube videos instead of doing work.

But there is a different kind of procrastination. One that I find myself doing from time to time. I call it the “productive procrastination.”

When you procrastinate productively, you merely do a different task that needs to be done, although you do know that it isn’t urgent or essential.

Productive procrastination is somewhat tricky because it doesn’t leave you with the guilt of usual procrastination. But it still results in the same problems for the task you delay.

3. Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a great thing. It can be a habit that will make you stand out from everyone else.

However, you need to know when it is time to be a perfectionist, and when you simply need to move on.

For example, a lot of people who want to start a business, are waiting for that “perfect” time, when all the stars are aligned to get started.

That’s self-sabotaging perfectionism. There will never be that perfect time, so waiting for it is merely wasting your time. Yes, maybe next month will be better for you to get started with your business because right now, you have a lot of things going on, and if you take on any more tasks, you might burn out.

The key is to realise when your perfectionism has been going on for too long and when it has only become an excuse because you are afraid to take that next step.

4. Limiting yourself to other people´s opinions

Do you notice your thoughts and feelings being shaped by other people? It can be as simple as you loving a movie until you hear others criticising it.

Or you might adopt the belief that money is hard to earn, that you cannot start a successful business with little money and within a year from home while being a full-time student.

Just because other people think that, doesn’t mean you need to believe it, too!

Stop paying so much attention to other people’s opinions and instead listen to your feelings.

5. Rushing through life

This might be one of the saddest self-sabotaging habits that, unfortunately, seems to have grown into a widespread problem of the 21st century.

People nowadays always look into the future, to the next task they need or want to do.

6. Acting out of a place of lack

I genuinely believe that the energy you send out into the universe you receive back. The best example for that is one of those days where simply everything seems to go wrong. Did you ever wonder why that is?

It happens because, after that first mishap, it could be you stubbing your toe, you enter a negative state of mind. You cuss out the universe and continue your morning quite grumpily. Then the next thing you know is that you’ve spilled your coffee, which sours your mood even more and so on.

If you act out of a place of lack, you are only attracting more of that lack into your life. Instead, make it a habit to respond out of a place of abundance and see how it changes your life in the long run.

Next time you write an exam, go in there like you have the confidence and brains of Tony Stark and Sherlock Holmes combined. You have to write that exam anyway, so why act all miserable and keep telling yourself that you are going to fail?

Why not tell yourself that you are going to rock this! The worst that will happen is that you are a bit disappointed if it didn’t work out, but at least you were happier doing it.

7. Not setting and sticking to clear boundaries

You have to set clear boundaries in your life! Eliminate that habit of always saying “Yes” to requests. Learn to say no. Not only to others but also to yourself, when you feel like you have to keep pushing even though you deserve that time off.

Life gets so much easier and more enjoyable if you have clear boundaries.

8. Searching for external happiness

Happiness can only be found within. If you can’t find joy in your current life, more money, better looks, or a relationship will not be able to bring it to you either.

Why else do you think are there so many celebrities, who seemingly have it all, but are depressed or even commit suicide?

Stop searching for external happiness and instead focus that energy on cultivating inner happiness. It will not be a quick process, but it will be one you will benefit from for the rest of your life!

9. A lack of self-care

10. Following drama

Yes, drama can be fun. Especially we women seem to LOVE drama. However, the drama also distracts you from your own life, and it more often than not brings out the not so good parts of you.

So be careful of the dose of drama you surround yourself with.

11. Escaping life through entertainment

Have you ever wondered why people are so obsessed with entertainment in the form of YouTube, Social Media, or Netflix?

Why they use it to procrastinate essential tasks they should be doing?

One big reason for that is that entertainment is an effortless way to escape the difficulties or unpleasantness of real life.

I am sure you know that feeling of losing yourself in an excellent series or a thrilling movie. You forget everything around you, and time seems to fly by. You are diving into the fictional world and through that escaping your reality.

I am not saying that entertainment per se is bad. The variety of entertainment we humans have created is simply stunning! You can experience every possible emotion through entertainment and find immense inspiration and motivation in it.

But the key is to use it intentionally as a tool for something good. Not to escape your unpleasant reality.

You should replace that self-sabotaging habit of escaping reality through entertainment, by taking massive action to shape life into something you never want to avoid.

---

If you’ve taken the time to honestly analyse yourself and check that none of these habits apply to you, you can pat yourself on the back.

Not many people would take the time to do that and sacrifice their “precious” Netflix time. This proves that you have it in you to create that extraordinary life of your dreams.

All you need to do now is take one step after the other. Just keep the ball moving. If you do that, you will reach your goals.

An incredible way to keep moving forward is my Reading List for Personal Growth. How many of these amazing books have you already read?

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Sophie

By now, you’ve probably all heard about FOMO – fear of missing out. Recently this word has started to spread over social media and the internet like a wildfire.

Thousands of people can connect with the feeling of FOMO, and I admit to being one of them. At first, I was thrilled to find out that there is such a perfect expression for the way I was feeling from time to time.

---

1. Get clear over what you are missing out and analyse if it is something you actually want

Sometimes we get caught up in that FOMO when we see other people doing something that looks great on the outside. However, try to imagine yourself doing it. Would you actually want to do it?

Meaning, are you envying the feeling of the activity or more the appearance of it?

I often found myself having FOMO, but when I thought about it, I realised it wasn’t even something I would have wanted to do. That realisation eliminates your evil thoughts in no time.

2. Think about what you would miss out if you would participate

The problem with FOMO is, of course, that we only have 24 hours in a day, and we can’t be in multiple places at the same time.

Meaning, if you would participate in the activity that you fear to miss out on, you would inevitably miss out on something else.

If you go to that party, you miss out on having a beautiful and relaxing evening at home.

If you check your social media every half an hour to make sure you never miss anything “important,” you miss out enjoying the now.

You should always take a step back, and consider if this would even be a trade worth making. Because as soon as you decide that what you are currently doing is more important, you lessen that feeling of missing out on something you desire less.

In the end, it’s all about how you want to spend to your time, how you prioritise it. Therefore I strongly recommend you to take a look at 15 Ways To Spend Your Time Wisely.

3. Think about times you or others have missed out on something, was it that bad?

I am sure you’ve had those moments before, where you couldn’t go to that party, or you couldn’t meet up with those friends, or you had no internet connection to stay up to date on social media.

Think back to those moments. Have you really missed out on something important? Was it something so significant as to justify that immense fear of missing out?

I doubt many of you can answer that with a yes. So why keep worrying if nothing wrong ever came from it?

4. Overcome your limiting beliefs

More often than not, this fear of missing out stems from the limiting belief that this is a one in a kind opportunity that will never be available again.

And sure, that one specific party on that one particular day will never happen again. But don’t you think there will be a lot of similar parties in the future?

Sometimes, there are moments in our life where we are presented with a one of a kind opportunity that could change our lives forever. Of course, in those moments, FOMO should be your motivation to go for it.

However, most often then not, these are not moments in which we experience FOMO. Those are moments in which we are too scared to take a risk and go for it.

In which case you should definitely think about the lessons in 7 Reasons Why Failure Is Important For Success.

FOMO mostly surrounds very mundane activities. Those kinds of opportunities that happen all the time. So don’t let FOMO destroy the now. Instead, look forward to the next opportunity.

5. Slow down

Sometimes all we need to stop these toxic thoughts is to slow down. Try to incorporate a daily practice of mindfulness and meditation.

A calming Yoga flow can also stop your mind from going 200 mph.

Next time you feel FOMO, try one of these practices, and then reevaluate the situation. I am sure you will feel more rational about it and realise that there is not much to miss out on.

6. Practice gratitude

Gratitude is the antidote for all of life’s negativity. If you are grateful for what you do experience right now, you can’t fear to miss out on anything at the same moment.

Of course, in the beginning, it won’t be easy to feel grateful for anything when you have those negative thoughts going through your head.

That’s why it’s so important to practice gratitude daily. Start small and list three things every morning that you appreciate in your life. After a while, you can take the next step, and every time you catch yourself, being stressed, anxious, or depressed, try to feel grateful for something in your life.

With time this will get easier and easier, and before you know it, gratitude will get you out of any negative state within seconds.

7. Step away from social media

As mentioned at the beginning of this article, the most significant fuel of FOMO is social media. And if you take away its fuel, the fire will slowly but inevitably become smaller and smaller.

---

I hope these 7 tips will help you overcome that FOMO and enjoy living your life even more.

As always, I encourage you to keep working towards that extraordinary life of your dreams. I know at times it may seem like you are not making any progress, but each day that you are working towards it, you are planting a seed that will sprout in the future.

I believe in you!

Sophie