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Get ready to become a better version of yourself through the lessons I share in my “The Alter Ego Effect” book review.
If you haven’t read the book yet, this will give you a good preview of it without spoiling too much of its content.
And if you’ve read “The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life” by Todd Herman already, this will be a good repetition with actionable ideas and quotes to implement the value into your life.
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Reading Experience
The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Hermann is a nice book to read.
It has a friendly yellow cover, good chapter sizes, and is filled with real-life examples and exercises.
Overall it was very interesting and comfortable to read.
The only thing I’d improve is the way the exercises are integrated into the text. I would have preferred it if they were a bit more separate from the content and therefore easier to find if I want to go back and look for them.
But that’s nothing that can’t be solved through a few Post-Its.
Lessons
1. The concept of using an Alter Ego or a Second Self is centuries old
Interestingly enough, the concept of slipping into a different persona to accomplish specific tasks is not new. Far from it, in fact.
Already the Roman consul Cicero wrote about using “a second self, a trusted friend.”
And if you think about it, it isn’t surprising at all that the Alter Ego Effect has been used for so long.
Considering even children intuitively act like their favorite fictional characters and ask themselves ‘what would spiderman do,’ I believe the ‘second self’ might be an inherent human tool we’ve forgotten about.
Actually, forgotten is the wrong word. Once more, this is something adults tell children to grow out of because it is ‘childish’ and they need to be ‘realistic.’
I say we should learn far more often from what children are doing intuitively instead of just labeling it as ‘childishness.’
#1 Actionable Idea
Think back to when you were a child. What fictional character fascinated you the most? Did you remember ever slipping into a specific role while playing?
Chances are, you still hold a powerful emotional connection to this character. It could help you create an Alter Ego.
2. Capable people underperform when they are unintentional about ‘who’ they need to be in the situation
“It gets to the heart of why talented, capable people underperform. They don’t realize it, but they’re being unintentional about what “who” is showing up on their Field of Play and into those Moments of Impact.”
– Todd Herman (The Alter Ego Effect)
I love this lesson. It is very uplifting to look at the things you struggle with and realize that you are not incompetent but merely acting as your false persona.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that you have these different versions of you, these ‘trusted friends,‘ to fall back on and just know they will rock the show?
Well, with the help of the Alter Ego Effect, this will be the case.
#2 Actionable Idea
In what areas of life do you feel like you are underperforming? Where do you know you could do better?
Once you have identified the area (i.e., school, work, fitness, personal development), journal about how you’ve been showing up so far. What was your mindset like? What were you thinking before, during, and after the situation? What were you feeling?
Now think about someone real or fictional (if they’re real, you could even ask them) and how they would answer these questions.
Do you see the disparity between your and their answers?
3. Beyoncé used an Alter Ego named Sasha Fierce
Like I mentioned previously, one of the things I liked best about the book was the many real-life examples of people using Alter Egos in their life.
Most examples were of Todd Herman’s clients, of course, but he also mentioned others.
Apparently, Beyoncé used her Alter Ego Sasha Fierce, to prevent her religious upbringing from standing in the way of performing slighlty provocative onstage. (Is it just me, or does that story also remind you a little of Hannah Montana?)
And Norma Jean famously used her Alter Ego Marilyn Monroe to be the magnetizing woman we’ve all come to know her as.
In personal development and entrepreneurship, you always hear the saying that success leaves clues.
Well, if these highly successful women used Alter Egos, I’d say it is high time we jump on the bandwagon!
#3 Actionable Idea
Do some more research and discover how other people used Alter Egos in their lives.
Take notes of the things that inspire you the most. What techniques could you take advantage of?
4. What begins as an Alter Ego turns into your identity
The beautiful thing about the Alter Ego Effect is that it almost tricks you into discovering and unleashing your hidden innate potential.
While you have to slip into a role in the beginning, with each use, it becomes more part of who you are.
Think of actors who’ve played the same role over many years. Often by the time the series ends, a part of the character they’ve played stays with them.
You might not feel like an A-student or entrepreneur yet, but the more often you act like one, the less you will have to act because it just becomes part of who you are.
#4 Actionable Idea
Block some time each day to practice living in the role of your Alter Ego.
With more practice comes more ease until eventually, you won’t have to act at all anymore.
5. You inherently already know how to use the Alter Ego Effect
Like I’ve mentioned in the first lesson on this list, children often slip into their hero’s role when they play.
Nobody has to tell them to act like their hero; they just do it automatically.
Just think about the ‘mother-father-child’ game many girls play. They get out a baby-buggy and pretend to be a mother.
Slipping into roles seems to be the most natural tendency we have when we admire someone and want to be like them.
So you don’t even have to worry about the exact strategy of the Alter Ego Effect. Subconsciously you already know what to do.
#5 Actionable Idea
Don’t take yourself too seriously!
You shouldn’t get frustrated when practicing with an alter ego doesn’t work perfectly for a while.
Approach this skill like a child would: With excitement and fun.
Make a game out of it and have fun even if you don’t meet your expectations.
Awake your inner child and let it play!
6. Talking to yourself improves your performance … as long as it’s positive self-talk
Even though talking to yourself still has a bad rep in many people’s eyes, science has come a long way and proven many times that there are benefits to self-talk.
It can improve your problem-solving skills, help you study, and calm you down.
That being said, it needs to be a positive or constructive conversation with yourself.
If you are continually criticizing yourself and everything you do, that can be detrimental to your performance in any area of life.
#6 Actionable Idea
Get comfortable with talking to yourself, even if it is just inside your head.
Start using positive affirmations daily. Most especially whenever you are worried about anything!
Also, try out studying out loud. I automatically slip into talking aloud to myself the more intentional I get to memorize something or understand a concept.
Just don’t do it in the library. 😀
Next time you have to decide what’s bothering you, talk aloud about each choice’s pros and cons.
I always feel much more confident in my decisions if I talked myself to the solution.
7. Name your inner critic
“Naming your Enemy creates a compelling distinction between the two worlds living inside all of us. The Ordinary and the Extraordinary. It allows your Heroic Self to talk back to the Enemy trying to trap you.”
– Todd Herman (The Alter Ego Effect)
“As soon as you give something a name, you’ve given it an identity. You’ve given it a form, a shape, a structure. When we give something a shape, we are also giving our Alter Ego something to defeat, something to overcome, something to battle against.”
– Todd Herman (The Alter Ego Effect)
Telling yourself to keep your self-talk positive is one thing; keeping it up is something entirely different.
Even the most positive people slip up once in a while and let the enemy run their thoughts.
In these situations, it is helpful to know with whom you are dealing, meaning give your inner critic an identity.
It’s easier to fight something the more you know of it. So giving your inner critic a face, a name, and physical characteristics makes it more fightable.
And since you are running the ship that is your mind, you can decide which form your inner critic should take.
You could make it look like someone that always makes you angry and whom you’d never give the power to run your life.
Or you could make it look like a pathetic joke, so non-threatening that you can’t take it seriously every time it speaks up.
#7 Actionable Idea
Give your inner critic an identity.
It doesn’t have to be perfect on the first try. Think of it more like creating a first draft that gets altered and added every time you encounter your inner enemy.
Make the enemy as specific as possible.
Visualize its facial expressions, posture, mannerisms, quirks, clothes, and hairstyle.
Create a character that evokes emotions (anger or a feeling of superiority) that can help you overcome any negative self-talk with ease.
8. Ridicule your inner critic
Now that you have visualized your despicable or ridiculous inner critic, it’s time to bash it into the ground with the skills of an underground rapper.
#8 Actionable Idea
Take out your journal and write a monolog about what you would counter to your inner enemy’s bullsh#t.
Call it names, make fun of it, emphasize all the reasons you are here to win, and overall show them who the boss is.
And next time your inner critic comes out to play, have a similar monologue to the one you’ve written inside your head.
Stand your ground and succeed!
9. An Alter Ego can turn you into your dream self instantly
The most astounding thing about using Alter Egos, in my opinion, is their almost instant effect.
Usually, overcoming limiting beliefs and insecurities takes time and effort.
But when you use an Alter Ego, you don’t try to overcome them. You solely focus on acting a role as authentically as possible.
This task distracts you from your insecurities and brings out your best self almost instantly.
And the more often your best self comes out to play, the easier it will get to make it stay permanently.
#9 Actionable Idea
The next time you feel insecure about something, shift your focus.
Don’t think about how insecure you are feeling, instead give your full attention to the task of acting in your Alter Ego role.
10.It’s ok to be driven by ‘selfish’ reasons
We use Alter Ego’s primarily to succeed in life in whatever shape or form.
Many people are driven to succeed by underlying noble desires like giving back to their families or making the world a better place.
But that doesn’t mean selfish reasons for success are a terrible thing.
So what if you want to earn lots of money so you can buy that sports car of your dreams? If that’s what drives you, cling to that dream as tightly as possible!
Let it catapult you to success because once you have achieved your ‘selfish’ goal, there is still plenty of room to use your success for more noble reasons.
Many entrepreneurs didn’t mainly start a business to provide value but because they wanted to make money. But on the entrepreneurial journey, many discovered the joys of giving free value to others.
#10 Actionable Idea
What drives you to achieve your goals?
What are the underlying desires you wish to fulfill through that goal?
Be honest with yourself. Don’t say you want to build schools in Africa if you are much more motivated to put in the work by the thought of driving a Ferrari.
Be aware of your most powerful motivator and use it for all it’s worth.
11.Emotional Connection Is Key
“The best Alter Ego is the one you have the deepest emotional connection with; emotional connection trumps everything.”
– Todd Herman (The Alter Ego Effect)
The more emotion your Alter Ego evokes in you, the better results you will get.
#11 Actionable Idea
Don’t fall into the trap of creating an Alter Ego solely through thinking. You need to involve feelings to make it its most effective.
Check your Alter Ego; does it evoke positive emotions in you? Do you really crave to be like that hero of yours?
Don’t feel bad about changing your Alter Ego if it doesn’t evoke enough emotions in you (anymore).
12.Use A Totem
A totem can help you slip into the role of your Alter Ego more easily.
Taking your totem in hand, putting it on or into your pocket will be a natural cue to slip into the role if you practice with it for long enough.
I was surprised to learn that famous men used totems as well.
Winston Churchill used a hat, and Martin Luther King used glasses even though he had no prescription.
Your totem doesn’t have to be something wearable, though. Just think of the totems that are used (although for different reasons) in the movie Inception. (By the way, you might be interested in 11 Rules Of Success From Inception)
#12 Actionable Idea
Chose a totem for every Alter Ego you want to create.
Make sure to choose something that you don’t have on you at any other time.
I made the mistake of choosing my blue-light blocking glasses as a totem for studying, but of course, I want to use them anytime I am on a screen, and that’s not always study-related.
So make sure to use your totem only for the Alter Ego Effect and nothing else.
13. Have a well-prepared answer to ‘who do you think you are?’
This is all about knowing your own worth.
And yes, we are all inherently worthy just because of our existence but knowing this is not enough.
Be sure to know what skills, talents, knowledge, characteristics, morals, intentions, etc., make you out of all people worthy of achieving your dreams.
If someone (most often that someone is your own inner critic) were to ask you ‘who do you think you are to believe you can achieve this goal?‘ you have to know with utmost confidence what you would answer to that.
Your net worth equals your self-worth, so make sure to cultivate and grow the latter!
#13 Actionable Idea
Make a habit of answering this question.
Once a month, take out your journal and write a confident and badass monologue about who exactly you are and why you should have the life of your dreams!
If you struggle, slip into your Alter Ego and let him/her/it speak through you.
It’s time you declare your worth to the world!
Well, are you excited to create your own Alter Ego?
For what purpose do you want to create it?
Or do you perhaps already have one?
Until next time!
Sophie
