Personal Development Archives - Page 21 of 31

11 Rules Of Success to Learn from Bridgerton

There is a lot to learn from Bridgerton besides all the romance drama. Discover 11 rules of success from the period drama.

1. Always hear others out

Yes, you may have the most experience and authority over a certain topic, but that does not automatically mean you know best.

An almost unwavering rule for life is that you never know everything.

So you should always hear others out on their opinion before disregarding them completely.

Anthony thought he knew best when dealing with Berbrooke and disregarded Daphny and her mother’s ideas and opinions straight from the beginning.

Luckily the women knew how to help themselves and solved the issue much better than the Viscount could have.

So always hear others out. You don’t need to agree with them, but perhaps their opinions and ideas spark something in you.

2. Be bold!

Eloise pushes Benedict to take advantage of his privileged position. She urges him to be bold with the power it gives him because at least he has the chance to do so.

The same goes for you. If you are reading this, chances are very high you are among the very privileged human individuals on this planet.

You probably have a stable roof over your head, warm meals on the table, the first world problem of feeling annoyed about school, and internet connection wherever you go.

I could go on and on and on about all the things you most likely have that make you so much more privileged than others.

If you start to look at your life that way, there suddenly really isn’t any excuse anymore for why you shouldn’t boldly go out into the world and create your dream life.

If you want to build a business, go and start with something. Start a blog, a podcast, or a Youtube channel.

And don’t tell me you don’t have the money to do so. Starting a business has never been as inexpensive as it is nowadays. If you have an iPhone, a Netflix subscription (I know you have, after all, you know Bridgerton!), and buy yourself Starbucks coffee, there really isn’t any valid excuse for you monetary wise.

And if you say you don’t have the time, well, why are you watching Netflix?

And if you’re scared of what others might say, do you need to let them know about your new project? I didn’t tell anyone, and it worked for me.

As I said, there really are almost no excuses for people in our fortunate position.

So be bold! Go out and create the life of your dreams!

3. The opinions others have of you don’t define you

The Bridgerton is all about who thinks what about whom. It’s a constant fight for people, especially women, to appeal to others.

And yes, what society thinks of the ladies does very much define their value in their suitors’ eyes and shape their future.

However, thankfully our society has matured enough to distance itself from a marriage market like the one in the series. Therefore we don’t need to worry to such an extent about appealing to the public eye.

However, what is still the same nowadays are individual people, be it family members, supposed friends, or bullies trying to diminish our value.

In the series, we can see flashbacks of the late Duke declaring his son Simon a worthless disappointment who will never fulfill his role as a Duke because of his stutter.

It’s quite possibly one of the worst things one could ever hear out of their parents’ mouth, and it takes a lot of strength, even with a support system like Lady Danbury, to not let this become one’s self-image.

But Simon proves that what his father thinks of him doesn’t define him. He grows up to be a handsome, eloquent, healthy, and overall capable young Duke.

You have it in your hand to give others power over you by taking their words by heart.

4. Don’t make things more complicated than they need to be

I love the Bridgerton scene in the drawing-room, in which Violet Bridgerton says to Daphne. “My dear, why ever do you complicate matters so? You must simply marry the man who feels like your dearest friend.”

Because truly, Simon and Daphney complicate matters unnecessarily … and Anthony for that matter.

But the series is very well justified to have unnecessary dramas in the plot since we include so much of it into our daily life.

I’ve noticed repeatedly in my own life that I overcomplicate matters. It can be mundane things, from what should I eat or wear today to me wanting to learn something new but spending more time worrying about how to do it than it actually takes to learn it.

Life can be so much easier if we’d just stop making it so bloody difficult all the time.

Don’t obsess about the how of starting a blog. Simply start writing a bit of content daily and do a bit of research about setting up a website.

That’s it. Literally, if you do not stand in your own way, it can be done in a matter of a few hours.

One way to keep things simple and doable is to go with your first instinct.

This can be in making decisions based on your first intuitive choice or starting something based on that first spike of sudden motivation.

For example, if you find yourself suddenly convinced that a Podcast is for you, then get out your phone and just start recording a practice episode before all the doubts and ‘what if’s’ kick in.

Trust me, the more you learn to listen to your intuition and act before your mind can start to overcomplicate matters, the easier your life gets and the quicker you’ll get things done that aid your success.

I believe it goes without saying that this does NOT include any grave and life-changing decisions. Don’t go out and sign any contracts simply based on your intuition.

Those are things that reasonably are a more complicated matter. Although again, your intuition can be of help. So write down or remember your first intuitive response. It might be helpful later on.

5. Privacy Is Power

Throughout the Bridgerton series, it is proven repeatedly that privacy is the most powerful asset of successful people.

The Duke and Daphne keep their arrangement private. Marina Thompson keeps her pregnancy private. The Duke keeps his stutter private, and of course, Lady Whistledown keeps her identity secret.

Privacy protects you. What others don’t know they can’t attack or use against you.

In our social media world, many people share significant parts of their life freely on the internet for strangers to see.

If you’re one of the few, who honors their privacy, you have an ace in your sleeve at all times.

The most important thing is to consider how much you want to share with whom. If you set clear boundaries around that, you are already far ahead of everyone else.

Read also: 11 Easy Ways To Honor Your Privacy

6. Don’t draw hasty conclusions

Eloise is on the hunt for Lady Whistledown. Her research is ambitious and persistent.

Yet, she quickly falls prey to hasty conclusions.

First, the mysterious writer must be a servant, and next, she must be Madame Delacroix.

Both times she was suddenly ripped out of her perceived discovery only to realize she had been wrong.

The lesson here isn’t to avoid creating hypotheses.

Instead, the lesson is to avoid falling in love with your hypothesis so much that you forget to prove it true.

Keep on researching and consider opposing opinions. Allow yourself to think again and change your mind.

7. Take the path less traveled

One reason why social norms stick so much is that they work for many people. They make them happy.

However, just because most people like the path society has laid out for them doesn’t mean that you do so as well.

In season 1 of Bridgerton, we get to see how Benedict discovers an alternative life for himself, much different from the life he always expected himself to lead.

It takes a while for him to accept this different concept but the more he does, the freer and more fulfilled he feels.

There could also lie happiness and success in a path less traveled for you.

Have you ever considered it?

Have you considered what it would be like not to get a degree but to jump straight into the working experience?

Have you envisioned what life could be like for you with your own business instead of a 9-to-5?

And how about making a home for yourself in a different country?

Besides the few paths traveled by the masses, there are endless options for you to discover.

Be open and if some of them interest you, try them out.

8. Think again

This has already been included in some of the previous points. Multiple Bridgerton characters had to think again and abandon some of their long-held beliefs to move forward.

It is essential for success to always course correct and adapts to challenges.

The more flexible you are in your approach – without being a flip-flopper – the quicker you will achieve your goals.

9. Nurture your connections

Humans are social beings that live in societies. Naturally, connections are an important dynamic in our lives.

I know that networking often sounds dreadful, and there is certainly a lot of this kind of networking going on in Bridgerton.

However, the series also highlights the power of purer connections.

It shows in the way Daphney as a new dutchess, supports her family after a scandal.

It’s illustrated in the way Benedict keeps the secret of his acquaintance Granville.

And it shows in the way Lady Danbury supports Simon and Daphney in their wedding plans.

If you go out into the world and are open and friendly, you will always make new connections.

Nurture these connections by giving first without aiming to receive. And should you ever need help, you have your network to rely on.

10. There is always a way

Daphney got out of the seemingly hopeless affair with Berbrooke.

Lady Whistledown manages to run the most widely read column in London as a woman and has managed to evade any attempts to reveal her identity.

Simon has become an esteemed duke despite his childhood struggles.

The Granvilles managed to save themselves from being restricted in listless marriages and have designed a life freer than many people can enjoy.

No matter how hopeless a situation may appear, there is a way to turn things for the better in the vast majority of cases.

Bridgerton gives splendid examples of how one can defy all odds and succeed through resourcefulness and perseverance.

Learn from them and search for ways to improve what seems hopeless.

11. Lack of knowledge leaves you vulnerable

Daphney and Eloise were rightfully angry at their mother for keeping them in the dark about the topics that every woman should know.

Their lack of knowledge makes them weak in certain situations.

They could fall prey to the lies others tell them about pregnancies, sex, and marriage because they don’t know better.

They also can’t solve, let alone recognize problems that occur in these areas.

Overall Bridgerton shows exactly why knowledge is potential power.

It should be a lesson to all of us to never stop learning.

I’m curious, how did you like Netflix’s Bridgerton?

To be honest, the storyline didn’t excite me too much. However, I did love the characters, and that made up for the rest.

Just because of the great characters, I went ahead and read the second book of the series. And let me tell you, it was hilarious! I truly loved it!

Until next time!

Sophie

The Psychology of Money Book Review | 13 Lessons + Quotes

Blog, Personal Development, Success

Money is not all about numbers and strategy. The Psychology of Money teaches what the real driving forces of finances are.

I’ve listed some of my favorite lessons and quotes from the book to help you up-level your monetary mindset.

Reading Experience

I really liked this book.

The lessons were short and precise, without wasting pages on lengthy explanations, and still, there was enough room to write about real-life examples.

Even though this is not the first financial book I’ve read, it did teach me quite a few new things and changed my outlook on the financial market and monetary decisions that are being made.

A word of warning: The book is heavily focused on America, its financial system, and history. So that might be bothersome for non-Americans, though I didn’t mind too much. The lessons still matter for everyone.

Lessons

1. The way you treat money depends largely on when and where you grew up

The Psychology of Money opened my eyes to how important our adolescents’ circumstances are to how we treat money throughout our life.

Different generations can vary drastically in their opinion about spending, debts, stocks, and income.

The reason for that is that once we have had certain experiences and developed a mindset on the topic, we don’t easily change our opinions and expectations even if reality changes.

I’ve often noticed this in my own approach towards bank accounts.

Many adults older than me still look at their bank account as a place to store their money, so it earns interest.

Therefore they are always understandably annoyed by the almost non-existent interest rates many banks offer nowadays.

I’ve grown up like that. I never consciously experienced a time in which my savings would get high-interest rates.

Therefore, I’ve always viewed my savings account as a secure place to store my money and not as a money-increasing machine.

A difference in understanding like this can impact financial decisions, like how much you save, how much hard cash you keep, or at which point throughout the month you pay your bills.

The Psychology of Money gives an interesting overview of how the Great Depression, WWII, and the housing bubble-shaped different generations’ financial beliefs.

Reading about it will make you look differently at other people’s financial decisions.

2. You don’t have to act rational, just reasonable

“Do not aim to be coldly rational when making financial decisions. Aim to just be pretty reasonable. Reasonable is more realistic and you have a better chance of sticking with it for the long run, which is what matters most when managing money.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“Good decisions aren’t always rational. At some point you have to choose between being happy or being “right.””
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

It always seems like every decision we make should bring us the biggest returns or save as much money as possible.

And while it is certainly rational to aim for these things that will increase your fortune, sometimes irrational behavior is better if it is reasonable for you.

A financial decision is reasonable if it lets you sleep better at night because you worry less.

This could be in the form of you not taking the money out of your savings account to purchase your new car. Instead, you go for a more expensive financing plan because without that safety of your savings, you’d feel vulnerable to unexpected bills.

Humans are not driven by rationality but by emotions.

As rational as a decision might be, if it causes you to worry and stress, it might not be worth it.

Allow yourself to act reasonably with money, even if it is irrational.

3. Don’t follow people playing a different game!

“When investors have different goals and time horizons—and they do in every asset class—prices that look ridiculous to one person can make sense to another, because the factors those investors pay attention to are different.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“A takeaway here is that few things matter more with money than understanding your own time horizon and not being persuaded by the actions and behaviors of people playing different games than you are.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

The financial crisis of 2008 showed how detrimental it can be for long-term investors to copy the actions of day traders.

Just like how there will be chaos if you try to play Monopoly with UNO rules, you won’t achieve your financial goals if you copy a strategy with an entirely different aim.

You need to be aware that not everyone who seemingly does the same thing as you do, has the same goal.

You might invest to prepare for your retirement in 40 years; others might want to sell that stock the same day for a higher price.

You might be looking for a house to settle in for the rest of your life; others might do it to renovate and sell the house for a higher price.

Your strategy should always suit your goal. So make sure that you only follow the advice that applies to your goal.

4. Nobody is crazy; their decisions make sense for them

“People do some crazy things with money. But no one is crazy.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

As the previous points illustrate, many invisible factors influence other people’s financial decisions.

Unless you ask them and let them explain their reasoning, you will never be able to grasp why exactly someone acted as they did.

Therefore it’s high time that we stop calling people dumb for making financial decisions that blew up in their face.

We are always wiser afterward. But back then, it could very well have been a reasonable decision to make for one specific person.

Don’t judge harshly what you don’t understand.

And don’t be so naive as to expect to know and understand everything.

5. Financial developments are less about calculations and more about emotions

Unsurprisingly the book The Psychology of Money deals much more with the emotional and mindset level of finances than concrete strategies.

Finances are not governed by strict rules like physics are.

Most of the financial markets’ development can be better understood if one looks at it from a psychological perspective.

You need to consider people’s hopes, fears, and expectations into the mix of facts and cold numbers to understand why things developed as they did and roughly predict how they will develop in the future.

You should also always consider your own emotions when making financial decisions.

Recognize your current emotional state and anticipate how the emotions caused by future events could influence your behavior.

Starting an investment strategy that will make you feel nervous as soon as times get bad might be an absurd idea no matter how rational it seems right now.

Don’t disregard the power your emotions have over your monetary decisions!

6. Don’t get seduced by pessimism

“Pessimism isn’t just more common than optimism. It also sounds smarter. It’s intellectually captivating, and it’s paid more attention than optimism, which is often viewed as being oblivious to risk.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“Real optimists don’t believe that everything will be great. That’s complacency. Optimism is a belief that the odds of a good outcome are in your favor over time, even when there will be setbacks along the way.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“The historical odds of making money in U.S. markets are 50/50 over one-day periods, 68% in one-year periods, 88% in 10-year periods, and (so far) 100% in 20-year periods.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

Dare to be optimistic.

This doesn’t mean disregarding risks and expecting the world to be all sunshine and rainbows. But expect things to work out well in the long term.

Humans are immensely adaptable and have overcome so much already; the chances are very high we will also turn the next challenge around in our favor.

So be very careful when confronted with the advice of preachers of doom.

If they are unrealistically pessimistic, who is to say they are not also drastically wrong about their financial advice?

7. Don’t try to outplay the market

“More than I want big returns, I want to be financially unbreakable. And if I’m unbreakable I actually think I’ll get the biggest returns, because I’ll be able to stick around long enough for compounding to work wonders.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

If outplaying the market would be easy or just mildly challenging, everyone would do it.

Even hedge fund managers who spend decades of their working life trying to win big with their investments only manage to do so maybe a couple times.

The chances that you or I will ever manage that are very slim. And trying to do so is costly.

Luckily, there is no need to outplay to market. You can get solid investment returns if you create a more conservative investment plan and stick with it over the long run.

If you simply put aside a small portion of your salary and invest it, you will be surprised at how much can compound over the years!

8. Consistency is key to unlock the mind-boggling magic of compounding

“If something compounds—if a little growth serves as the fuel for future growth—a small starting base can lead to results so extraordinary they seem to defy logic.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“Compounding doesn’t rely on earning big returns. Merely good returns sustained uninterrupted for the longest period of time—especially in times of chaos and havoc—will always win.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

The Psychology of Money illustrates some mind-boggling numbers that can be achieved by investing tiny amounts consistently for many decades.

As mentioned before, if you invest for the long-term into a broad portfolio, you are pretty much guaranteed to make some good returns.

But then why are so few people doing it that way?

Well, one reason is that they are trying to outsmart the market. They want to make big bugs quickly and find the next Facebook, Netflix, or Tesla.

When that inevitably fails for 99,99999% of people, they lose courage and give up.

Another reason is that they get cold feet when the market is going down.

It’s easy to invest in good times. However, if you have to watch your investments dwindle away, losing 5%, 10%, or even 30% of their worth, it’s only natural to get a fight or flight instinct and try saving whatever you can instead of putting more money into the market.

However, if you manage to stay patient and determinedly continue investing, then the compounding effect will work its wonders and reward you accordingly.

Small but consistent investments can compound to more than you’d ever expect!

9. Expect to fail in a good portion of your investments

“Planning is important, but the most important part of every plan is to plan on the plan not going according to plan.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“Something I’ve learned from both investors and entrepreneurs is that no one makes good decisions all the time. The most impressive people are packed full of horrendous ideas that are often acted upon.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“Become OK with a lot of things going wrong. You can be wrong half the time and still make a fortune, because a small minority of things account for the majority of outcomes.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

It is so easy to believe that the best investors have such a keen eye for the market that their investments are a raging success.

Most people absolutely hate failing.

Even more so if that failure is costing you money.

No surprise, therefore, that many investors try not to lose money and only to make good investments.

The reality is, however, that losing money is to be expected. It is the price you have to pay for being in this investment game.

The best investors accumulate a fortune not because every investment is spot on. But because they land a few hits that outweigh the many losses and mediocre results.

This realization can take a huge pressure off your shoulders.

You don’t have to be perfect. It’s not even possible.

So anticipate losing money and prepare accordingly.

Don’t put all eggs into one basket, and don’t lose confidence when you inevitably stumble.

Just keep going with the certainty that you will also win here and there.

10. Luck and risk are two sides of the same coin

“Luck and risk are both the reality that every outcome in life is guided by forces other than individual effort. They are so similar that you can’t believe in one without equally respecting the other.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“But keeping money requires the opposite of taking risk. It requires humility, and fear that what you’ve made can be taken away from you just as fast. It requires frugality and an acceptance that at least some of what you’ve made is attributable to luck, so past success can’t be relied upon to repeat indefinitely.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

Many people like to contribute their own success to hard work and their own failure to bad luck.

However, judging others they often attribute success to luck and failure as entirely the other person’s fault.

The truth is: Nothing is as good or as bad as it seems.

There is always equally as much a chance of you ending up lucky as there is of you failing through risk.

Most success can partly be attributed to luck and most failure to risk.

This means, just because you’ve succeeded once with a strategy, it is not guaranteed to make you succeed again.

Also, just because you lost money once in the financial market doesn’t mean you’ll lose it again.

The key is to be aware of the role luck and risk play and always prepare for the latter hitting.

You need enough of a safety margin in any plan to overcome bad luck and try again until you get lucky.

11. Knowing how to get wealthy is useless if you don’t have the skills to stay wealthy

“If I had to summarize money success in a single word it would be “survival.””
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“There are a million ways to get wealthy, and plenty of books on how to do so. But there’s only one way to stay wealthy: some combination of frugality and paranoia.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

Earning money in itself is easy. There are a million different ways to earn money. Some bring you a higher income than others, but you can make money either way.

There are also a million ways to lose money, yet only a few ways to keep it.

Clearly, maintaining your wealth is the more difficult task. Just look at how many rich people end up bankrupt or close to it!

For all the time you spend focusing on earning more, you should spend just as much on keeping what you’ve made.

Have a savings account and investments that you feed with money from every paycheck.

Save without a specific goal. Just save money for future unforeseeable events and to sleep better at night.

Don’t spend everything you earn, or you’ll always need to make more.

12. Regard forecasts with a large grain of salt

“The majority of what’s happening at any given moment in the global economy can be tied back to a handful of past events that were nearly impossible to predict.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“The correct lesson to learn from surprises is that the world is surprising. Not that we should use past surprises as a guide to future boundaries; that we should use past surprises as an admission that we have no idea what might happen next.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

The financial market is heavily impacted by significant events that become benchmarks in human history.

Do you think anyone was able to foresee the world wars or life-changing innovations?

Whether good or bad, significant events are almost impossible to predict.

And since they impact the markets, we can also hardly predict how the markets will develop.

We can make an educated guess that might turn outright, but at any given moment, a surprise could change everything.

So consider forecasts with a grain of salt.

13. Realize that you don’t know your future self

“It’s another to admit that you, yourself, don’t know today what you will even want in the future. And the truth is, few of us do.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“We should also come to accept the reality of changing our minds.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

“Sunk costs—anchoring decisions to past efforts that can’t be refunded—are a devil in a world where people change over time. They make our future selves prisoners to our past, different, selves. It’s the equivalent of a stranger making major life decisions for you.”
– Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)

Allow yourself to change your mind.

I’m sure if you look back 5 or 10 years, you will say that your past self has had vastly different interests, opinions, and goals from your current self.

So why would you expect your future self to still have the same goals that you have today?

Don’t make decisions today and expect yourself to stick with them for decades to come.

Life is about evolving yourself.

Don’t feel forced to live inside the boundaries placed by your younger self.

If your lifelong dream of becoming a doctor doesn’t sound so good anymore, that’s ok. Create a new vision.

If living as a minimalist doesn’t fulfill you anymore, then find something that does.

Don’t let your past dictate your future.

What was your favorite lesson?

Do you have any great finance books you can recommend?

I’d love to hear from you!

Sophie

Think Again Book Review | 19 Lessons + Actionable Ideas + Quotes

Blog, Books, Mindset, Personal Development

What lessons can we learn from “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know” by Adam M. Grant?

As always, I also included amazing quotes and a few actionable ideas to help you get the most out of this book review.

Still, there is much value left inside the book, so definitely read it for yourself to not miss out on anything!

Reading Experience

I LOVED this book!

“Think Again” was not only interesting to read but also funny at times and even contained one or two plot twists that had me stunned.

I simply loved how the book balances theory with real-life stories.

All in all, great to read! In fact, not just great but even important to read. The more people start to think again, the better the world could be.

Lessons

1. It’s not only ok to change your mind but even important to do so

“Intelligence is traditionally viewed as the ability to think and learn. Yet in a turbulent world, there’s another set of cognitive skills that might matter more: the ability to rethink and unlearn.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“Changing your mind doesn’t make you a flip-flopper or a hypocrite. It means you were open to learning.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

I used to be and, to some point, still am reluctant to voice my opinion on anything but trivial matters because I know that I’m far from an expert and could change my mind any day.

In fact, I’ve ended up doing things I once very passionately declared on never doing (i.e., studying law, having my own business).

I used to feel incredibly awkward around admitting that I’ve changed my mind. As if changing your mind is something bad and shows a lack of decisiveness.

But “Think Again” has finally crashed that limiting belief of mine and encouraged me to do what I’ve always been drawn to do: changing my mind and evolving my opinion with each new information presented.

Now, I am allowing myself to change my mind, and I also make sure to question beliefs that have been the same for a long time.

Actionable Idea

Give yourself permission to change your mind frequently. Of course, you shouldn’t change your mind five times within one evening when your partner asks you what you’d like to eat.

But allow yourself to think again on less trivial topics like what career you want, how you can study most effectively, what car you should buy, what your next apartment should cost, or who you should vote for.

Take out your journal and write about an opinion you’ve come to form recently.

Why have you formed this particular opinion?

What facts or feelings don’t align with this opinion?

Why could someone decide to have a different opinion?

Start a list on which you note every opinion of yours that you find yourself clinging to fiercely.

2. Don’t mistrust the urge to correct an answer

“I’ve seen it in my own classroom year after year: my students’ final exams have surprisingly few eraser marks, but those who do rethink their first answers rather than staying anchored to them end up improving their scores.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

This again hit it perfectly on the head for me. Like many students, I’ve had the experience that I end up falsely ‘fixing’ what was once right every time I try to correct an answer on a test.

Adam M. Grant points out that even though most students claim to have made that experience, statistics actually prove the opposite to be true: Most corrected answers are from false to the right and not the other way around.

I’m assuming that falsely correcting something is especially painful. Those instances stick in mind for longer than positive cases.

Whatever the reason, I’m going to make sure not to blindly stick to my first answer out of fear for losing points through altercations.

Actionable Idea

If there is time left during your next exam or test, take a moment to think again.

This doesn’t need to result in you changing your answer. Just stay open to the possibility of coming up with a better solution at second thought.

3. Sticking with a belief is easy

“We favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt, and we let our beliefs get brittle long before our bones. We laugh at people who still use Windows 95, yet we still cling to opinions that we formed in 1995. We listen to views that make us feel good, instead of ideas that make us think hard.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

The best and most convincing facts are not automatically going to change your mind.

In fact, you will most likely find yourself clinging desperately to your current belief.

Don’t beat yourself up when you start to notice this tendency.

Simply being aware of it is the first step of breaking free from it.

Actionable Idea

Take stock of the most important opinions that shape your path in life.

Did you form this opinion through hard thinking, or have you ignored new information in favor of sticking to your old view?

4. What we know today could be irrelevant tomorrow

“The problem is that we live in a rapidly changing world, where we need to spend as much time rethinking as we do thinking.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

Suppose you’ve anticipated the day of your graduation in hopes of never having to study again. In that case, you are going to have an unpleasant awakening.

You will never excel in your career field if you don’t update your beliefs regularly.

New discoveries are being made rapidly. They get released into the world through books, studies, articles, conferences, courses, and more.

These information could make your job much easier and help you reach an ‘aha’-moment.

They could also challenge everything you’ve believed so far and render your current work obsolete.

However painful it might be, successful people know that they have to stay on top of these things, or soon their success will be history.

Actionable Idea

Create a routine of exposing yourself to new information and rethinking or unlearning your past knowledge.

You can’t do this in every area of life. That would overwhelm you.

However, you should have this routine of updating your knowledge in the field you’ve chosen for your career.

For me, as a law student, this means staying on top of new legal regulations and reading recent verdicts.

As an online business owner, this means keeping my eyes open for new trends and algorithm changes on the platforms that I use. Also, to always try to find something new and unique to do.

5. Think like a scientist, not a preacher, prosecutor, or politician

“When we’re in scientist mode, we refuse to let our ideas become ideologies. We don’t start with answers or solutions; we lead with questions and puzzles. We don’t preach from intuition; we teach from evidence. We don’t just have healthy skepticism about other people’s arguments; we dare to disagree with our own arguments.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

Don’t go around promoting your opinions, dashing out arguments to prove wrong, or trying to win over an audience.

Instead, start with a theory in mind, develop hypotheses and use experiments to test them.

6. To Think Again we must fight confirmation bias and desirability bias

“Thinking like a scientist involves more than just reacting with an open mind. It means being actively open-minded. It requires searching for reasons why we might be wrong—not for reasons why we must be right—and revising our views based on what we learn.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“When you form an opinion, ask yourself what would have to happen to prove it false. “
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

Every time you form an opinion, you should be aware that you might be biased by what you already believe and by what you’d like to happen.

To fight these biases, effectively seek out information that contradicts your opinion instead of ignoring them.

Find the strongest arguments of your opponents and consider them genuinely.

If you can see why they might convince some people, but you are still holding on to your opinion, it is not out of bias anymore.

Always ask yourself what new information would change your mind. If you stubbornly say ‘none,’ then you should worry about being biased.

A truly open mind is always open to thinking again in light of new information.

7. Don’t learn to affirm; learn to grow!

“After all, the purpose of learning isn’t to affirm our beliefs; it’s to evolve our beliefs.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

You should never approach learning solely to affirm your current opinion.

Rather use learning as a chance to make a new, more accurate draft of your current views that brings you closer to the truth.

8. Become aware of what you don’t know

“If knowledge is power, knowing what we don’t know is wisdom.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“You can have confidence in your capacity to learn while questioning your current solution to a problem. Knowing what you don’t know is often the first step toward developing expertise.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

It’s always been mind-boggling to me how so many people, not exclusively but especially in politics, act as if they are experts.

By contrast, I often start sentences with ‘I’m leaning towards …‘ and end them with ‘but that’s just my opinion now, I might change it with more information.‘

I believe that in a world as rapidly changing as ours, we need to abandon the belief of ever knowing everything about a single topic.

It is pretty much impossible to ever know everything, which is why I have alarm bells going off in my head every time someone acts like an expert.

On the other hand, people who openly admit their lack of knowledge and their awareness of it are deeply impressive.

You get to decide if you want to present yourself to the world as a fake know-it-all or a humble student.

9. The least competent people are the most likely to overestimate themselves

“When we lack the knowledge and skills to achieve excellence, we sometimes lack the knowledge and skills to judge excellence.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

This is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Maybe you’ve even experienced it yourself once or twice in school or college.

At the beginning of studying for an exam, it sometimes seems totally manageable. You are overly optimistic about knowing everything there is to know in no time.

Fast forward some study hours later, you panicked, realizing that there is soooo freaking much to know, and you’ve barely scraped the surface!

But don’t let this make you paranoid every time you do feel confident in your knowledge!

I think it is safe to say that if you’re worried about not being competent enough and only now, after a lot of effort, you’ve started to feel confident in your competency, that this effect doesn’t apply to you.

10. Humility is crucial to think again

“Humility is often misunderstood. It’s not a matter of having low self-confidence. One of the Latin roots of humility means “from the earth.” It’s about being grounded—recognizing that we’re flawed and fallible.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“You can be confident in your ability to achieve a goal in the future while maintaining the humility to question whether you have the right tools in the present. That’s the sweet spot of confidence.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

Humility is a by-product of the awareness of your lack of knowledge.

Without humility, you won’t open your mind to new information, and therefore you won’t be able to evolve your opinions.

Learn to be confident in your ability to learn yet humble about how much you know!

11. It’s time to say thank you to your imposter syndrome

“The first upside of feeling like an impostor is that it can motivate us to work harder.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“Second, impostor thoughts can motivate us to work smarter. When we don’t believe we’re going to win, we have nothing to lose by rethinking our strategy.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“Third, feeling like an impostor can make us better learners. Having some doubts about our knowledge and skills takes us off a pedestal, encouraging us to seek out insights from others.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

Imposter syndrome is often treated as an enemy of success. Yet “Think Again” raises the question if it might actually contribute to success.

I believe that this is the case as long as your default reaction to feeling like an imposter is not freezing.

Let this feeling be your motivator to put in more effort, learn more, and overall improve yourself.

Imposter syndrome can be your personal tough-love coach that’s swinging the whip behind you. So use it for all it’s worth!

12. Don’t wait until you are confident; take action first, and confidence will follow

“We don’t have to wait for our confidence to rise to achieve challenging goals. We can build it through achieving challenging goals.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

This is such an IMPORTANT lesson if you want to live an extraordinary life.

It is relatively easy to just follow the path society has laid out for you. But if you want more than that, you have to find the guts to step away from that path and out into the unknown.

It’s easy to tell yourself that you’ll do it next week or month, or year when you are more confident.

But the truth is, the quickest and most reliable way to build confidence is to just jump straight into the experience.

13. Find joy in being wrong

“They’re determined to reach the correct answer in the long run, and they know that means they have to be open to stumbling, backtracking, and rerouting in the short run.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

Failing is the measurement of learning. If we don’t fail, we haven’t pushed ourselves enough.

If you practice questions for your upcoming exam and get them all right, you feel good about yourself. If you get them wrong, you become aware of a hole in your knowledge and learn how to answer them better next time.

We shouldn’t fear being wrong or failing because, with each failure, we get one step closer to succeeding.

Actionable Idea

Make a conscious effort to pat yourself on the back for being wrong and making mistakes.

As long as you don’t brush it under the table, you can learn from it, which will make you a better person all around.

14. Don’t let your opinions become your identity

“Who you are should be a question of what you value, not what you believe.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

This is a powerful idea that has made quite an impression on me.

Our identity is a very important part of us, and we naturally become fiercely protective when it gets threatened.

Suppose you let your opinion become your identity (i. e., I am a democrat/republican, feminist, minimalist, etc.). In that case, you hold onto that opinion with all your might.

You close yourself off towards opposing opinions and refuse to think again because that could endanger your whole identity.

As “Think Again” teaches us, though, evolving our opinions is important. So don’t tie your identity to them.

You will notice that life becomes a lot easier if you stop identifying with your opinions and instead openly admit to being wrong or changing your mind in light of new information.

15. The more often you think again and try again, the better you will be

“The best forecasters went through more rethinking cycles. They had the confident humility to doubt their judgments and the curiosity to discover new information that led them to revise their predictions.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

We all know the saying that practice makes perfect.

But did you know that changing your mind more often can make your predictions more accurate, as well?

“Think Again” introduces the reader to forecaster contests that are being held worldwide (I had no idea something like that existed! Isn’t it fascinating?!).

The contenders have to predict the outcome of certain events like, for example, elections.

The answers are given in percentages depending on the likeliness of the event in the forecasters’ eyes.

Over the months leading up to such predicted events, the answers of the forecasters get recorded.

By analyzing these records, scientists have found that the best forecasters rethought their original answer more often than average forecasters.

If you are open to thinking again, you take all kinds of different information into consideration. You are willing to try out different approaches to the topic, and through trial and error, you can achieve more hits than someone who sticks to their first idea.

16. Embrace and encourage constructive conflict

“Agreeableness is about seeking social harmony, not cognitive consensus. It’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“In fact, when I argue with someone, it’s not a display of disrespect—it’s a sign of respect. It means I value their views enough to contest them. If their opinions didn’t matter to me, I wouldn’t bother.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

I get it. There are too many examples in our lives of destructive conflicts that lead absolutely nowhere except pain and misery.

No wonder we might try to avoid conflict altogether.

But this avoidance can rob us of inspiring and productive conflict as well!

The constructive conflict between open-minded people, who don’t turn their opinions into their identity and are willing to think again, can lead to truly life-changing realizations.

Challenging each other in a genuine and non-judgmental manner can push everyone into rethinking their opinions, finding flaws, and discovering new ways of thinking about things that might even strengthen their own opinion even more.

So don’t dismiss every type of conflict, for there is gold to be found in the constructive ones.

17. To change someone’s opinion, common ground is more important than the number of arguments

“We won’t have much luck changing other people’s minds if we refuse to change ours. We can demonstrate openness by acknowledging where we agree with our critics and even what we’ve learned from them.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“A single line of argument feels like a conversation; multiple lines of argument can become an onslaught.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

An interesting lesson learned from debating contests is that the most successful debaters don’t have more good arguments.

Instead, they choose a few good ones and focus the rest of their time on truly listening to their opponent and trying to find common ground.

It’s less of a fight for victory and more like a dance that’s supposed to benefit both.

Next time you want to convince someone, put a bigger focus on the common ground between you instead of actually trying to convince them.

18. Persistence is not always the answer

“There’s a fine line between heroic persistence and foolish stubbornness. Sometimes the best kind of grit is gritting our teeth and turning around.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

This is a very tricky lesson, as we can rarely be entirely sure when to apply it.

I’ve been working on my business for a while now without making an income. Does this mean I should turn around and find something else? No, that’s not what my heart is telling me.

But considering that question has opened my eyes towards the possibility that I might want to turn my back on certain strategies I’ve been applying.

I get it; it gets harder to turn your back on something the more effort and time you’ve put into it already – especially if you are ambitious and stubborn by nature.

But if your degree is making you miserable, turning your back on it after 3 years of effort is better than staying miserable throughout your whole career.

Actionable Idea

When encountering hardships, you should always stop for a moment and be honest to yourself.

Are you being rightfully persistent or stubbornly foolish?

Take your journal and write down your thoughts. The more you practice listening to your intuition and tuning out all the outside noise, the easier it will be to answer this question truthfully.

19. Happiness shouldn’t be your goal

“It’s left me thinking about happiness less as a goal and more as a by-product of mastery and meaning.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“At work and in life, the best we can do is plan for what we want to learn and contribute over the next year or two, and stay open to what might come next.”
– Adam M. Grant (Think Again)

“Think Again” mentioned studies that prove that depending on your definition of happiness, chasing it could actually result in making you less happy.

Of course, we all want to be happy. But happiness is not an emotional state we can be in 24/7. The more you obsess over happiness, the more your emotions will fluctuate to create the natural balance of all things.

It is much easier and rewarding to put your main focus on other goals that bring happiness along with them automatically.

There is so much more goodness in Think Again, but I had to keep this list limited somehow.

I highly encourage you to read the book for yourself; it’s definitely worth it!

What was your favorite lesson, and how did you plan on implementing it into your life?

I’m curious to hear from you!

Sophie

Limitless Book Review | 11 Lessons + Actionable Ideas + Quotes

Blog, Books, Personal Development

Are you ready to become Limitless? Jim Kwik teaches us how in his book, that sums up decades of experience as a brain coach.

Reading Experience of Limitless

Limitless was a great read.

It was full of valuable insights and exercises to immediately implement this knowledge without being too long.

In the book, Jim Kwik gives the reader a link to a page to further free resources that are useful as well.

And lastly, the book Limitless ends with a long list of book recommendations.

Lessons

1. You need to align your mindset with your goals

“If our mindset is not aligned with our desires or goals, we will never achieve them.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

You can’t look down on something and at the same time expect to achieve it yourself.

If you think money is the root of all evil and rich people are bad, you will most likely never do the necessary action to acquire wealth.

If you see A-student as annoying know-it-alls or teacher’s pets, you won’t care for how they study and therefore never improve your own study technique and results.

A contrary mindset will always make you self-sabotage yourself. And life is not fun if you are your own enemy, so align mind and actions.

2. Experiencing boredom is important

“There is a growing body of evidence that suggests that if we never let our mind wander or be bored for a moment, we pay a price—poor memory, mental fog, and fatigue.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

There are a million and one ways to avoid being bored in our world. There is always something interesting to watch or hear at the swipe of a finger over the screen.

When was the last time you had to wait in a line or waiting room or bus station that you didn’t pull out your phone to pass the time?

Every time we do that, we are practicing being distracted. And as with every practice, the more we do it, the better we get.

Now think about the many, many hours you’ve been practicing the art of being distracted.

Are you really that surprised that you can’t focus for long periods and that you get fidgety?

Actionable Idea

This one is very easy.

The next time you have to wait somewhere without anything to do, do not pull out your phone. Simply spend time with your own thoughts and observe your environment.

It sounds easy, but your hand will always twitch towards your phone almost unconsciously if you are so used to distraction.

3. Stop externalizing your memory

“Forcing yourself to recall information instead of relying on an outside source to supply it for you is a way of creating and strengthening a permanent memory.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

“Memorization is discipline for the mind.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

Do you know the movie “Wal-E”?

Do you remember how humans got all fat and couldn’t move because their muscles were so weak after relying on their comfortable transportation chairs all their life?

What do you think will happen to your memory when you don’t use it much but instead write everything down elsewhere?

If you are still in school or college, you can count yourself lucky because you still have to train your memory fairly.

However, once you get your degree and don’t have to memorize anything for tests anymore, you have to be careful not to let your memory rot to waste.

Actionable Idea

Make the conscious effort – and yes, it does feel like an effort. That’s why so many people choose easier ways – to memorize things.

You can start with birthdates, addresses, and phone numbers.

Next, you can memorize your shopping list.

Or simply find something new to study without it having to lead to a degree. You could study the stars and planets just for fun, for example.

If you want to know how to remember best, check out the book Moonwalking with Einstein.

I’ve got it listed on my Reading List for Personal Growth.

4. You can decide to change the way your brain works today!

“As I stated earlier, the brain is capable of being molded and shaped, meaning that at any point anyone can decide to change the way their brain functions.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

This is probably one of the most uplifting lessons I’ve ever learned.

How great is it to know that you can improve your memory! That you are not stuck with whatever you have!

You can also improve your focus. All you need to do is to spend conscious effort training your mind.

Actionable Idea

Take some time each day for brain exercises.

This could be a 5-minute meditation session in the morning.

Or you could download one of the many mental exercise Apps and play the games 10-15 each day.

You could also integrate more healthy brain foods into your diet. Some of them are walnuts, salmon, blueberries, and avocado.

5. Remembering means connecting new information with what you know already

“Neuroplasticity, also referred to as brain plasticity, means that every time you learn something new, your brain makes a new synaptic connection. And each time this happens, your brain physically changes–it upgrades its hardware to reflect a new level of the mind.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

“In learning, when you fail to remember something, view it as a failure to make a connection between what you’ve learned and what you already know, and with how you will use it in life.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

“This is the key to memory and all of learning: In order to learn any new piece of information, it must be associated with something you already know.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

This lesson from Limitless has changed the way I look at learning.

Have you ever studied two subjects, and one is just so much harder for you to grasp than the other?

That is most likely because you can’t connect the information and other memories with the other subject.

That’s also why it is easier to learn new information about a subject once you have a solid basis of knowledge already memorized.

Memorization is all about connecting information with each other in a gigantic web of connections.

6. Study effectively with the rules of primacy and recency

“The effect of primacy is that you’re more likely to remember what you learn in the beginning of a learning session, a class, a presentation, or even a social interaction.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

“The effect of recency is that you’re also likely to remember the last thing you learned (more recent).”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

This is another reason why many students’ big gramming sessions are far less effective than they think.

Instead of cramming, break your study sessions apart and spread them out.

But careful! Once we exit a focused state, it takes us quite a while to get back into it.

So don’t make your study sessions too short and the breaks too long.

Actionable Idea

Use a Pomodoro timer for studying.

Take care to not get distracted in your breaks!

7. Knowledge can stand in the way of learning

“When learning something new, we tend to assume we understand more than we do about that subject. What we think we know about the topic can stand in the way of our ability to absorb new information. One of the reasons children learn rapidly is because they are empty vessels; they know they don’t know.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

Humility is important for learning.

We learn best when we an eager to get rid of our lack of knowledge.

If you think you already know the most important things, you won’t put much effort into learning new information.

That’s a dangerous state of mind to be in!

The less you know how much there is to know, the more you are prone to overestimating your knowledge.

Actionable Idea

Be careful to keep your humility.

Every time you think something along the lines of ‘I know that already,’ alarm bells should go off in your head and make you think twice.

8. Learning is state-dependent

“Remember, all learning is state-dependent. Consciously choose states of joy, fascination, and curiosity.”
– Jim Kwik (Limitless)

Remember that one episode from that one series you were obsessed with as a child?

How come you can still remember mundane things that you never tried to memorize years later, but you have no idea what your teacher was talking about last week?

One big reason for this is the state you were in when you were confronted with the information.

While watching your favorite series, you were probably excited and couldn’t wait to see what happens next.

In class, you might have been bored and stared at the clock waiting for the lesson to end.

We learn much easier when we are in an upbeat state.

Actionable Idea

Don’t wait for motivation to strike you! Take action and create it.

The reasoning you won’t be able to study effectively because you lack motivation is a lousy excuse.

Motivation is not something you have but something you do.

You are, to a large extent, a master of your emotions. You can decide to stop wallowing in self-pity and instead raise your vibe and get stuff done.

How you get motivated is very individual to you. My go-to advice is listening to happy music, watching motivational videos, and pinning inspirational Pinterest pins.

9. Learning effectively is less about quantity and more about the intensity

Most students learn by repeating the same information over and over and over and over again until it is punched deeply enough into your brain that it sticks.

Unsurprisingly, this time-consuming study technique creates problems once you have greater amounts of information that you need to get into your head.

Don’t understand me wrong; repeating information in certain intervals that work against the forgetting curve is important.

However, ideally, you only use this repetition for information that you’ve already got memorized.

The memorization itself should be based on intensive studying.

You can read the same information again and again without it sticking.

Effective memorization feels more effortful than listening or reading. That’s why we often avoid doing it.

It’s much easier to turn your flashcard around and read the answer instead of searching your brain for the things you remember first.

Study in a way that feels intense and exhausting. If you feel too comfortable doing it and you can sing along to songs simultaneously, you’re wasting your time.

It’s just like your workout that won’t be as effective when lifting 1kg weights 100 times as lifting 10kg weights 10 times.

10. Speed reading is a superpower

In a world where mountains of new information get released each day, the person that can quickly absorb information has a great advantage.

Therefore speed reading can be a superpower in our informational age.

You are not stuck with your current reading speed. With practice, many people manage to more than double their pace without losing comprehension of the material.

Can you imagine what it would be like to breeze through books, textbooks, and articles in half the time?

How much more productive would you be?

Learning how to speed read is definitely an investment of your time that will pay off tenfold!

11. Don’t just think outside the box; ignore the box altogether

You often hear the advice to think outside the box to solve a problem. But what can be even more effective is to ignore the box and all its preconceived notions altogether.

Let’s say you want to get better grades, but no matter how much effort you make, you can’t seem to do better.

Thinking inside the box could be you searching for more opportunities to study and putting in more effort.

Thinking outside the box could be that you change your study strategy in addition to studying hard.

Now, if you ignore all your beliefs about studying up to date, you could ask yourself, ‘what if I didn’t need to study hard at all? what if I could actually study less AND get better grades?’

Do you see how these three different ways of looking at the problem could bring other solutions?

Limitless encourages us to think in outlandish ways and to break out of the virtual barriers we’ve set ourselves.

Many of our world’s best inventions are the result of such outlandish thinking.

That’s it for the Limitless lessons. Of course, the book contains many more, but I’ve narrowed it down to these eleven.

If you like this book, you should most definitely check out Jim Kwikset Podcast. He has a whole mountain of great bite-sized episodes full of valuable insights.

Very often, he interviews experts, who got me interested in a few great books and courses.

It’s honestly one of my favorite Podcasts.

Until next time!

Sophie

How to Stay Calm During Finals | 11 Tips to Confidently Ace your Exams

Blog, Personal Development

As an aspiring A-student, you need to know how to stay calm during your finals. Don’t worry, I have your back!

I’m going to share with you 11 tips on how to stay calm during finals.

1. Don’t just use these tips for Finals time!

The first thing you need to understand is that stress management is not a skill that you should just pull out of your hat in dire situations.

Many of us experience stress regularly without being aware of it, and by the time we notice it, it has often reached such a high level that even our health starts acting out.

Handling stress is an all-year-round job and a skill that you should nurture throughout the years, whether you are in school, college, have a job or even retired.

Learn how to stay calm in different situations.

Learn what helps you live a balanced life.

Exercise, drink plenty of water, improve your sleep, keep track of your health, have a social life, take breaks and laugh a lot.

The better you feel outside of finals season, the easier it is for you to stay calm during the exam hustle.

2. Intentionally design a study strategy

The most powerful and obvious way to stay calm during your finals is by knowing the material.

If you know you’ve got all the knowledge necessary easily under your belt, then what’s there to be nervous about?

To make sure you study everything you need for the exams, you need to devise a study strategy. This is done intentionally.

If you simply start studying something without having an overview of the road ahead, you are almost playing a game of chance whether or not you’ll know everything in time.

Creating an effective study strategy is not always easy. It takes lots of trial and error and partly depends on the subject you’re dealing with.

In my law studies, it took me three and a half years to feel like I’ve finally figured out the right strategy to optimally prepare myself in time.

The starting point for you should be to regularly look at your study technique and ask yourself if you can do it just a bit more efficiently.

I also love to watch study tips YouTube videos.

If you’re interested in what I’ve learned over the years, you should check out this:

3. Affirmations, affirmations, affirmations

Alright, I can practically see you rolling your eyes at me.

I know affirmations always sound like some cringy esoteric practice that’s more hyped than useful.

But I’ve found that practice and the right affirmations can truly help ease one’s mind.

Every time I can feel nervousness starting to rise, I now almost automatically start thinking affirmative thoughts on repeat in my head.

It really does help, so try it out for yourself!

4. VISUALIZING exam day!

THIS is my new weapon in the fight against exam anxiety!

I once read about a study that found that athletes improve almost equally as much by visualizing their practice as by actually practicing.

For me, it really makes exam day feel like something I have done a hundred times before.

I imagine myself (in the first-person view!) walking into the classroom, sitting down, getting out my stuff, turning around the exam paper, writing the exam, occasionally looking at the clock and seeing that my timing is perfect, and then finally handing in my exam with pride and happiness welling in my chest and a smile tucking on my lips.

Every time I did that, it calmed me down significantly. Visualizing puts things into perspective.

You realize that this is not some great, scary unknown but actually a very doable situation.

If you like, you can also write this out by scripting in the present tense.

5. Consider changing your music and series choices

Sometimes, if I feel really stressed, I don’t have the mental energy to listen to fast-paced music that makes me want to dance or sing loudly along.

I also don’t feel like watching series with drama, excitement, or tension in them.

Instead, I switch to acoustic or stripped songs and watch light and uplifting series like Friends or Modern Family.

6. Do the exams of the past years

Ok, so I know this will not work in every case. But depending on the subject you are studying for, the pure theory may seem immensely difficult while the actual test is manageable.

I’ve had that experience when studying for an important law exam.

After every practice exam I did, I felt confident in my skills. Yet a day later, while studying flashcards and reading new information, the doubts began creeping in again.

Since there was such an immense amount of information that I’d never be able to get into my head in time, I easily got the feeling that I was in way over my head.

But when I did an actual exam for the practice, I realized that I could answer all questions pretty confidently with the knowledge I already had.

The professor wasn’t interested in making students fail by quizzing us on a very specific corner-part of the information.

He wanted to see if we understood the system, the most important problems and whether we could modify this knowledge and apply it to slightly different cases.

Even if your practice exams only demotivate you because of their difficulty level, they are the best way to prepare you. As mentioned above, effective preparation is the No. 1 factor in feeling confident.

7. Talk to others but not too many other people!

Talking to others about your worries and doubts concerning the finals can be very uplifting.

You quickly realize that you are not alone and perhaps even better prepared than your friends.

On the other hand, if you talk to too many other students, you will always find people who know more than you.

The more of these people you find, the more insecure and nervous you will feel.

So while you should make sure to have at least one or two people to talk to, consider avoiding talking to a big crowd.

8. Have a real-life besides studying

It’s easy to freak out about an upcoming exam if it seems like your whole world revolves around it.

I get it; this might be a really important exam that could determine your chances in the job market later on.

But you know what? You’ve studied for this! You are a smart Boss Babe who reads content like this to prepare optimally for exams like the one you’re facing just now.

You’ve got this, babe!

However, even if everything were to go down to hell (which, as just mentioned, is entirely unlikely in your case), this isn’t a survive or die situation.

You are going to live on and create a successful life no matter what happens with this exam.

The easiest way to realize this is by having a life besides studying.

Don’t study all day long! Have some free time to commit to socializing, developing yourself, or even building a business on the side.

I truly have to say that my business makes my law studies much more manageable and less insane.

Even when law was difficult, I felt like I had something else to direct my attention to.

So, make sure to have a real-life and an identity besides being a student.

9. Take things off your plate

I get it. We are ambitious Boss Babes with many daily habits designed to create a successful life.

I’m very much a creature of habit and don’t like to skip things like workouts, reading, journaling, etc.

However, when the exam approaches, I like to take it easy.

It’s not even that I have less time than usual; it’s more that my mind is occupied with the exam preparation, and I just don’t have the nerve to do all of my other habits.

Therefore I allow myself to ditch one or two habits for the last week or so before the exam.

10. Anticipate stressors and reduce them

I’m going to assume you have written your fair share of exams and test in your life.

By now, you probably know most of the things that make you feel stressed on exam day.

Use that knowledge to anticipate stressors and reduce them beforehand so you won’t have to bother with them on exam day.

For me, this meant taking a test-drive to Uni two days before my exam. Because of online-classes, I hadn’t been to Uni for months, but the last time I drove there, I remembered lots of constructions going on.

So, to ease any worries about what route I could take and how soon I’d need to start driving to arrive on time, I drove there beforehand.

Best idea ever, because any worries I had about getting to Uni evaporated after that.

11. Breathe!

And lastly, if you wake up after a restless night on exam day with entirely unreasonable and sudden panic making your heart almost jump out of your chest (been there, done that), it’s important to BREATHE.

I know that breathing exercises always sound like something entirely awkward, but they can truly work wonders and help your stay calm.

Slow, deep, and intentional breathing while filling your mind with as many reassurings and positive affirmations can truly help to calm you down.

And calmness is much needed when entering an exam, so try it out for yourself the next time you find your heart speeding up, or hands becoming jittery.

Now you know how to stay calm during your finals.

Are you feeling more at ease already?

What exams do you have to tackle next? I’d love to know what you’re studying!

Until next time and good luck!

Sophie

11 tips for students to stay calm during your finals

22 Lessons I’ve Learned In 22 Years | Tips for Boss Babes

Blog, Boss Lady, Personal Development

I’m one year older and one year wiser. It’s time I share with you the 22 lessons I’ve learned in 22 years. Don’t wait as long as I have to learn these lessons!

1. Listen to your intuition

Even though I have learned this lesson so often already, I am still working on actually living by it.

I’ve gotten better already, but I still make mistakes.

You wouldn’t believe how many times I had this inkling or gut feeling that something was off, but I ignored it only for sh#t to hit the fan mere moments later.

It has happened SO.FREAKING.OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!

And each time, it is just as painful because I stupidly ignored the warning signs.

On a very interesting note – and this is something that I am still a bit wary about but gradually exploring – my intuition seems to have access to some deeper knowledge than my mind.

I know this sounds a bit crazy and very woo woo but hear me out.

I used to play a quiz game on my phone with friends.

And rather often, you get questions you have absolutely no clue about.

When I came across those questions, I noticed that if I pondered on an answer I answered falsely almost every time.

On the other hand, if I answered immediately after barely reading the four choices, I answered correctly.

I’ve noticed that in the first split second of making a decision, my intuition throws in an answer which is the correct one.

But it is incredibly difficult to make out this intuitive answer in time before my mind starts working and overshadows it with its ‘logical’ ramblings.

For me, this proves even more that I need to learn how to tap more into my intuition. Because my mind might let me down, but my instinct won’t.

2. I don’t want a 9-to-5 lifestyle

This might be the most life-altering realization on this list.

I’ve always known that I wanted to earn a lot because I’ve always felt drawn to luxuries like expensive architecture and cars.

I always expected to end up in a corporate job that pays well. I didn’t even consider that I could get money another way. In fact, for years, I was firmly against the idea of me building my own business.

Then I started uni, studying Law, and it was interesting. I could see myself having a career in that direction, although I could never excite myself for a specific job.

Then I got into personal development and, with it, entrepreneurship. Quickly I started working on building a business to have a passive income.

But it took another half a year for me to actually be sure that I didn’t want a 9-to-5.

From then on, I could only see myself working for myself at my own time schedule, from wherever I want to, with earnings that have the potential to go up into infinity and beyond.

This became especially apparent by me already living that lifestyle – kind of.

I barely went to lectures and worked mostly from home. My laptop was almost always running from 5 am to 10 pm, with me working on it most of the time.

I was basically already living the laptop lifestyle minus the financial freedom and with the baggage of time-intensive studies.

In addition to that, I kept hearing about and saw for myself employees with a lousy work ethic that spending half their workday browsing online, gossiping and ignoring incoming calls.

Suddenly, I was sure about the kind of life I want to create for myself and it didn’t include a 9-to-5.

3. Introversion is ok

For a long time, I guilt-tripped myself for not going to parties like many people my age.

Especially in my first semester at uni, there was that constant inner conflict of ‘I should go out and socialize‘ and ‘I just want to stay at home and be cozy.’

After getting into personal development and getting to know me better, I redid the 16Personalities test.

The first two times, I turned out to be an ENFJ (a Protagonist). I was happy with the result, as I was able to relate to a lot of things.

However, as I did the test again after two years or so, I ended up (twice) as an INFJ (an Advocate).

Now, if you look closely, you might be able to see the difference immediately. It took a while for me to figure out what had changed at first, but it made sense once I did.

The only difference between an ENFJ and an INFJ is the first letter – the extroversion/introversion trait.

Simultaneously, as I turned out to be an introvert, I had also felt like I had answered the test more honestly than before. Often we answer questions that trigger us more, like who we wish we were compared to who we actually are.

So after that test result, I got more curious about what it means to be an introvert because none of my family and friends would describe me as one, and as I’ve always easily made friends and get along well with people in general, I wouldn’t have either.

I discovered the Introvert Dear blog, which has tons of unique introvert content (check it out!).

I quickly learned that I seem to be an extroverted introvert (or as some call it: an ambivert), meaning that I am an introvert at heart, but depending on the situation, I am can be extroverted.

I could talk for ages about this. If you want one of those “Ha! I thought that was just me! I can so relate to that.” moments, I highly recommend you Introvert Dear.

The point here is: Once I’ve actually discovered and accepted my tendency for introversion, a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I stopped feeling guilty so much about not wanting to go out to parties, about not liking or using social media so much, and about keeping a small circle of friends.

There is no need for me to force myself into being more extroverted as long as I don’t hinder my growth.

Now, I embrace my introversion while still pushing myself out of my comfort zone when an opportunity for growth arrives.

4. Little by little, a little becomes a lot (Jim Kwik)

I often kept holding myself back from starting something new in life because I keep thinking that I need to do it in a big way straight from the beginning.

But the truth is – as Jim Kwik reminds so often in his podcast – that little by little, a little becomes a lot.

For me, this means:

saving 5€ a month is better than nothing.
Donating 5€ a month is better than nothing.
Publishing 10-minute podcast episodes are better than waiting around until I feel comfortable doing 1h episodes.
Implementing just three foods from the cycle syncing method is better for my hormonal balance than nothing.
Reading only ten pages a day in a book is better than waiting until I have time for more pages.
Doing a Law case for uni messily will teach me more than waiting around until I feel knowledgeable enough to do it correctly.

There are honestly so many instances in my life where I have discovered the power of doing small steps.

These small steps may seem so insignificant at first. But if you keep doing them diligently every day after two weeks or a month, you will already feel so much further ahead than before.

Every journey consists of many small steps. So you might as well take the first one today instead of waiting for the motivation or ideal time to take 100 steps at once.

No matter how small, each step will teach you something that puts you ahead of those people who are waiting.

So take that step today!

I’m the kind of person who wants to share absolutely EVERYTHING with my loved ones.

Like I’m talking about ever uninteresting detail of the day and thought that crossed my mind.

So as I’ve started my journey to pursue financial freedom, it was immensely challenging at first to not tell anyone about my passion project that occupied almost every waking minute of my mind.

Ultimately, I’ve managed to do so. I did drop some hints here and there, but thankfully, nobody ever picked up on them.

The longer I’ve been trying to build my business, the more grateful I’ve become that nobody knows about it.

It makes things so much easier.

I don’t have to deal with other people’s doubts, advice, or expectations. I don’t have to explain to them whenever I decide that another investment has to be made.

I can work quietly in the background and then stun the disbelievers with my results.

And by the time that I am ready to do that, I will be confident enough to brush negative comments off much easier.

I still love talking about what matters to me and how I spend my day. But I’ve learned to consider what I should share with others and what I should be holding back for now.

In the end, it’s my life, and I get to decide how to live it.

6. Passion changes everything

Another important lesson that I’ve learned so far is that passion changes the game.

If you are passionate about reaching a goal or doing an activity, you become superhero-like.

You have seemingly unlimited energy, your confidence soars, and you are as resilient as a cockroach.

There are multiple areas in life where I have noticed this behavior from myself:

I’ve been working for over a year now on clearing my hormonal acne the natural way. And let me tell you, I am relentless!

I’ve tried so many different things already, done a tone of research, and I always have a new strategy at hand should the current one not deliver.

I will master it; there is no doubt in my mind!

The same goes for my curly hair journey.

I am ambitious to turn my curls into gorgeous silky hair that vibrates health.

I’ve been doing lots of research and tried many different things over the last four years, and there is no stop in sight.

I actually have fun trying out all these different things and figuring out what works for my unique hair.

Personal development has quickly become another passion of mine. Not a day goes by without me consuming at least some kind of content to grow into a better version of me.

I am more than willing and even excited to spend money and time on this topic despite most people shaking their heads at the endeavor.

And lastly, in my business, I am showing real resilience!

Despite having already invested more than I ever thought, money and time-wise, I would not give up on achieving financial freedom.

Hell, the word giving up has never even for the tiniest fracture of a second crossed my mind.

This endeavor is worth spending an eternity on!

Passion is a game-changer. It makes life so much easier.

7. There lies power in embracing my feminine energy

You don’t have to do things the masculine way. Success doesn’t need to be attained solely by hard work, sweat, and more hard work.

Sure some of that is necessary, but it doesn’t have to be just hard work. Us women can achieve the most stunning results by working in alignment with our feminine energy and taking messy inspired action.

I’ve learned that I can have more success and enjoyment when I step back and focus more on my energy than pure action-taking.

8. Just because something is common doesn’t mean it is normal

This is such an important lesson that we all should be reminded of more often!

Just because millions of women suffer from PMS doesn’t mean it’s normal.

Just because most people hate Mondays doesn’t mean that’s normal.

Just because most people can’t wait for retirement doesn’t mean that mentality is normal.

Just because something is common doesn’t mean you have to experience it as well. It shouldn’t keep you from trying to improve a situation and live a more optimal life.

Ignore what the majority is doing. Work on curing your PMS and create the job of your dreams that makes Mondays enjoyable and from which you never want to retire.

Make life what you want it to be and not what is common!

9. There is more to education than academics

For most of my life, I didn’t question the education system much.

I’ve always been the kid that loved school. I wasn’t an A student, but I loved learning and studying and just having something to work towards.

After I finished school and started uni, I discovered personal development, and suddenly my outlook changed.

It became very quickly apparent to me that the education system is massively lacking. It neglects to teach children so many important skills to prepare them for the future.

Instead, it teaches them what has worked in the past, hopeful that they can build a good life upon that foundation.

Personal development and entrepreneurship have taught me that there is so much more to this life than I had ever thought while in school.

And I quickly realized that I would be foolish to rely on a rigid education system to prepare me for a fast-changing world.

So now I take my education into my own hands.

I still pursue my law degree, but at the same time, I read books, listen to podcasts and purchase courses that will change my life for the better.

I’ve decided to take over the reins in my life and educate myself.

10. Fears are the threshold to the next level

There is no up-leveling within your comfort zone. If you want to reach the next level, you have to be willing to push yourself.

Therefore whenever you are scared of something, you should be excited because it’s one of the surest signs that doing it will help you up-level.

11. Self-Worth = Net Worth

Your net worth is a reflection of your self-worth.

And it’s not enough to say that you are worthy just because you are human. That might be true, but that also means you deserve just as much as everyone else.

If you want an extraordinary net worth, you have to feel extraordinarily worthy.

If you don’t feel like you deserve a 6-figure income and a luxurious lifestyle, you will not behave like someone of high value, and as a result, people won’t treat you like it either.

You won’t apply for that job or offer your services for a high price because you don’t feel worthy.

Low self-worth is not going to attract a high net worth.

Therefore, I’ve made it part of my morning routine to name one thing each day that makes me worthy.

It doesn’t matter how mundane it is. The important thing is for you to always be aware of your worth.

12. Money And Emotions Should Not Go Together

Positive and negative emotions can have a bad effect on your finances.

If you are fearful, nervous, embarrassed, or greedy, you will cling to your money as tightly as possible. This will prevent you from investing your money wisely, and therefore, you will struggle to ever get out of the rat race.

If you are overly excited by your current income, you will spend more money than you should, and you will quickly end back where you began without being much closer to leaving the rat race.

This is, of course, all very simplified, but you can see this principle in work in the stock market, where their emotional actions rob many investors of their money.

Ideally, you should aim to have neutral emotions like love and gratitude towards money.

13. You can instantly flip a switch by letting your Alter Ego act

We all have our insecurities and limiting beliefs. Often enough, overcoming these obstacles takes time and effort.

What if I were to tell you that you don’t need to overcome them first to step into a better version of yourself?

What if you could just flip a switch and forget all about your insecurities?

I’ve learned how to do this through the book The Alter Ego Effect. I’m not going into detail here on all the lessons I’ve learned from this book since I’ve written a Book Review with Quotes on it.

But the short version is this: You have to create an Alter Ego that you are emotionally attached to, for each field of play where you need to do things that don’t come naturally to you.

Once you get into the according situation, you slip into this role – using a totem can help you do that.

You do what the Law of Attraction is teaching as well: You act as if.

Say you need to be fearless to hold a presentation. You could slip into the role of Tony Stark, who is charismatic and brave and wouldn’t so much as blink at having to carry a presentation.

Lots of people use Alter Egos to help them overcome difficulties. Even Beyoncé used an Alter Ego!

The beauty of this Alter Ego Effect is that the more often you slip into your Alter Ego’s role, the more this role becomes your identity.

By acting as if you discover what you were capable of all along, it will become second nature to you.

So now, every time I get nervous about something, I imagine someone, who would do this with ease, and I try to slip into this person’s shoes.

Focusing on this task keeps the anxiety at bay.

14. Do it now; don’t wait for Monday, next month, next year.

Like many people, I had a tendency to want to start new habits or projects on Mondays or the beginning of a new month, or January 1st.

Theoretically, I knew, of course, that this procrastination was entirely unnecessary.

But only once I actually started a new project at the end of November, instead of waiting for the New Year, and saw how much I already had achieved by January 1st, did it really hit home.

Now, this has become almost a game for me. Every time I get inspired to start a new habit or project, I try to start it as soon as possible and see how far I can come until the next Monday, month, or January 1st.

15. You can accomplish anything once you really commit to it – and often a lot faster than expected

There have been many instances in the last few years in which I imagined things to be vastly more difficult and time-consuming than they actually turned out to be once I sat down and committed to stick to them.

For years, I’ve always wanted to do splits and be flexible, but I never had enough motivation to stick with a daily stretching routine.

Then finally, two weeks before the new year started, I began stretching daily. Shortly after the New Year, I did my first ever proper splits.

At the same time, I also tried to learn how to juggle – another skill I’ve always admired. I managed to juggle with three balls (working on four currently) even before the New Year.

The first two years I did my taxes, I always dreaded how long it would take until I realized that if I organize things properly throughout the year, I can get it done within a few short hours.

I always admired people who read one book a week. While I did read daily, it was only so few pages that some books took me over a month to finish.

Suddenly, as I was motivated, I gave myself the New Year’s challenge to read 4 books within a month next year.

And I did just that straight at the beginning of the year in January. And because it was so surprisingly easy, I did it in February as well, and by now, reading one book a week is the rule, while taking longer than that is an exception.

These are just a few of my most recent examples, but they show that things can often be accomplished far quicker than we expect if we commit to putting in a focused effort.

16. Changing your mind is a good thing

I used to feel uncomfortable voicing my opinion because I was aware it could change at any time with new information.

And since I am always very much aware of how much I don’t know, the chance of my opinion changing is pretty high.

So imagine my delight when I read “Think Again,” and the author actually encourages you to think again often and change your mind as well.

The book gives many real-life examples of why rethinking often and always being open to changing your mind if convincing evidence arises are important for individual success and collective harmony.

Read also: Reading List For Personal Growth

17. Money and success won’t change all too much

Have you ever anticipated the time after a bothersome exam or test? Have you imagined how you would feel soooo awesome after finally being rid of the test and how you would chill so much and have so much fun?

And then, the test comes around, you get it done, and finally, that free-time you’ve anticipated so much has arrived, but … it’s just ok.

There are no emotional fireworks, and you don’t feel like a whole new person. Yes, you are relieved to have put that test behind you, but other than that, not much has changed.

Well, chances are it’s the same story with the money and success you are craving.

Sure, initially, you will feel incredible, but soon enough, you will settle back into your (albeit slightly elevated) lifestyle and continue like before.

That’s at least the realization I’ve had. Achieving all the goals, I am dreaming of won’t change my entire life. Probably 50-75% of what I am doing right now on my day-to-day basis, I will continue doing then.

I often see that in celebrities as well.

They watch Netflix just like the rest of us. They go to work, eat, sleep, have a skincare routine, hang out with friends, drive to and from places just like we do.

Sure, they don’t worry about money when buying that Netflix subscription or when they get their groceries delivered for them. They might also have more expensive skincare products and cars than we do.

But the core of most things they do is not so much different from what ordinary people do.

This lesson has caused a big mindset shift for me. I’m less desperate about achieving my goals now, and I get to enjoy my daily routine more.

Also, having learned this lesson, it is now much easier to visualize myself living my dream life already.

Try it out for yourself!

18. Success is less about what you have and more about what you do

Again, I knew this in theory already but only recently had I realized that my mindset has shifted.

In the past, I was craving to have more money to buy expensive things or even just normally priced stuff without having to worry about how much I’m spending.

And yes, sure, I still want these things – be it a sports car, a luxurious home, or a MUSE headband for meditation.

But now, I’ve noticed that my focus has shifted more to what I could do once I have the time and money for it.

I’m dreaming about learning how to fly a glider, ride a horse, or martial arts.

I imagine myself travel comfortably in first class and staying in luxurious places for a whole month so that I can thoroughly experience the country I’m traveling to.

I visualize myself getting massages, going to the dermatologist, and just taking care of my body on a whole new level.

My idea of success has become less materialistic and is far more about the kind of lifestyle I experience.

19. The right outfit can help you conquer the world

Feeling comfortable and stylish in what I wear makes a huge impact on my mindset and, as a result, my performance throughout the day.

And I’m not just talking about clothes I wear to go out. This includes what I wear for workouts or to sleep.

I absolutely hate it when I feel like my clothes don’t match or if they don’t fit properly. My focus constantly gets directed back to this issue, and I feel incredibly self-conscious.

On the other hand, if I wear comfortable, flattering, and matching clothes, I feel like I can rock whatever the day throws at me.

Therefore I take great care in selecting clothes, which isn’t all that easy as a petite woman.

It’s an ongoing battle, but I’ve made great progress in the last few years and cultivated a wardrobe I am increasingly happy with.

Don’t underestimate the power of fashion!

20. Life seems short when nothing memorable happens

This was such an aha-moment for me when I read about this in “Moonwalking with Einstein.”

Our perception of time is very subjective. Time in itself passes by at a steady speed, but some people feel like the last year passed by in the blink of an eye, and for others, it seemed to take an eternity.

Why do they perceive the same timespan so differently?

The answer: If nothing memorable happens in our days, they start to blend into each other. Looking back, you can’t accurately tell how much time has passed because you have no mental benchmark to rely on.

Therefore the solution to making your life feel long and not like it passed by in the blink of an eye is to fill it with as many memories as possible.

Do new things regularly to create those memories. Don’t live through the same routine each day, every day.

You can also sum up every day with a sentence in a journal. This will help you to keep things memorable.

21. There are so many things to try and so many passions to develop

I believe that passions are not so much discovered as they are developed.

Often passions follow experience and skills. You might hate playing tennis at the beginning because you suck at it. But once you can fight a decent match, you might develop a real passion for the sport.

Unfortunately, the older we get, the more uncomfortable we feel starting something new.

For some reason, many people are embarrassed by failing in those awkward beginning stages of any new activity, as if your age should automatically bring a certain skill level.

I strive not to let the awkwardness and failure stop me.

There are so many things I haven’t done in my life yet. So many hobbies I want to try that I’ve been putting off.

In any number of them, I could develop a passion that lights up my soul. A love I would miss out on if I don’t try out something new.

If people ask me what I do for fun, I want to have a whole list of activities I can name instead of having to rack my brain for something to say.

I simply want to taste life to its fullest.

And so should you!

Phew … what a long blog post.

But I guess this shows how many important lessons I’ve learned! ^^

What was your favorite lesson that I’ve mentioned?

And more importantly, what is the most important lesson you’ve learned in your time on earth so far? And how old are you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Until next time,

Sophie