Blog Archives - Page 48 of 49 - Striving For Felicity

9 Proven Ways to Be More Disciplined (Master Self Control)

We Felicity Seekers always try to improve ourselves. We try to develop habits, mindsets, and abilities that will get us further in life.

To figure out what it is we need to incorporate into our lives we look up to the most successful people in every area of life.

There are many things we learn from them. But probably the most crucial ability we see successful people have, whether it is in sports, business, politics or science, is self-discipline.

And it makes sense. Without self-discipline you won´t get far in life because there will always be things you don´t feel like doing but have to do.

Self-control also plays an essential part in my life.

It allows me to skip many of my lectures and work more efficiently from home.

I never saw this as something complicated. However, almost all of the classmates with whom I talked about it replied that they would also study from home if they could motivate themselves and would actually do the work necessary.

Another part of my life where discipline is needed is this Blog.

Although I thoroughly enjoy creating valuable content, I definitely have days that I would rather chill the evening after dealing with Law all day long. Using my willpower, I keep pushing through.

Surprisingly enough, self-control is an ability many people lack nowadays. Citizens of the developed countries are so used to everything being easy and quick that many of us forget what it means to be disciplined.

The good news is that self-discipline can be learned. To do just that, I compiled 9 proven ways on how to develop willpower.

Once you learn to cultivate self-discipline, you will have a huge competitive advantage in every area of your life! Furthermore, you will be one step closer to creating the life you always desired.

1. Be clear about your why

The first step to master self-discipline is to get clear about what your intentions are. Why do you want to do that task?

You are probably putting in that long studying hours because you want to graduate with good grades, so that you can get a job that will pay well, so that you can live a comfortable and happy life.

Once you remember your “Why”, it will be easier to get things done.

Maybe you even find out that your “Why” isn´t worth fighting for. In that case, you either need to find a stronger “why” or you should consider if you want to continue doing what you do.

2. Figure out your Patterns

When it comes to self-discipline, we all have some areas in life, in which we struggle more to be disciplined than in others.

The key is to expect those moments beforehand so that you can take precautions. You need to remove all of your usual distractions and temptations.

Is it always in the evening, when you can´t get yourself motivated to do any studying? In that case, you need to study before that. Maybe that means waking up earlier.

Do you lose yourself watching Netflix or YouTube? Ban those apps from your phone or put a time limit on them.

Do you keep hitting the snooze button and fall back asleep? Put your alarm away from your bed, so that you have to stand up in the morning. Once you are standing there, keep standing until that urge to close your eyes has weakened enough for you to go on with your day.

Get to know yourself better. Become self-aware.

Once you develop self-control dealing with life becomes more comfortable.

3. Deconstruct your Goal

As I mentioned in my “11 Effective Ways to deal with Overwhelm” it is easy to become overwhelmed by a big goal.

And the more overwhelmed you are, the more difficult it will be to have the willpower to start working on that goal.

Therefore you need to make your goal more achievable by dividing it into multiple smaller goals.

So if my goal is to run a 5-kilometer marathon. I need to train for let´s say two months. This week, I would need to go running three times. That means I need to run today.

But I still don´t feel like it. So I only tell myself to start running. That´s my new goal. I tell myself that I can stop anytime should I feel too exhausted. But I want to start running.

To have the discipline to start running is easier than to have the discipline to start training for a 5-kilometers marathon.

And the fantastic thing is, that most people won´t stop their run, even if it should feel exhausted. Because now they have already started.

Now they tell themselves, “ok I can run a few hundred meters more and maybe another few meters. Great, now I can just as well finish my run.”

The most significant difficulty is always to bring an object into movement. Once it moves, it is increasingly more comfsortable to keep it moving and even to accelerate it.

This is just like that chain of X´s you make into your calendar for every day you did a habit. As you see that chain of X´s grow, you will work harder and harder not to break that streak.

So always try to get started. No matter how little your initial goal is, it will quickly help you to find the discipline to reach your ultimate goal.

4. Design your thoughts

Another helpful way to cultivate self-discipline is to design affirming thoughts. The Law of Attraction uses this method as well.

Always remember: Your thoughts create your actions!

So if you want to have more willpower, you need to think thoughts that match the self-disciplined self you want to be.

If you try to be disciplined enough to do that workout think:
“I love working out! I love to feel how my body gets stronger every single day! The time will pass quickly, I just know it! I can´t wait to start my training! ”

The more you think these positive thoughts, the more you are actually going to believe them. In result, it will become easier for you to be disciplined.

5. Do anything like you want to do everything

We tend to find excuses for why we don´t need to work hard today.

“I worked sooo hard yesterday, today I can cut some slack.”

“Oh, tomorrow is going to be really exhausting, I think I should just take it easy this afternoon.”

Of course, there are times, when it is justified and also needed to relax a bit. But whenever you are about to decide whether or not you should stay disciplined, think about the following:

“How you do anything is how you do everything!”
T. Harv Eker

It is incredibly easy to fall in the excuse trap. In the end, we will always find some kind of excuse why we don´t need to be disciplined today.

And the less you force yourself to be disciplined, the more difficult it will be to get that willpower back.

So be careful with your decisions! After all, your future is the sum of the choices you make each day!

6. Take some Time off and Reward yourself

Nobody can always be disciplined. The longer you keep grinding, the harder it will be to motivate yourself.

You need to know when it is time to relax. As mentioned above, you can´t allow yourself to rest too often. But some self-care is definitely required once in a while.

“What gets rewarded, gets repeated.”
John E. Jones

After all, we humans are just mammals. And what do we give our pets after they behaved well? A treat.

So treat yourself for your discipline. This can be anything from having a dessert, to watching another episode, to buying yourself something beautiful.

But again, measure carefully. You don´t want to spoil yourself!

7. Forgive yourself and move on

We will not always meet our expectations. After all, we are often our harshest critic.

Whenever you have found yourself being not disciplined enough and slacking, you need to acknowledge that.

But after doing that, you need to let it go. There is nothing you can do about it anymore. The past is the past. All we ever really have is the present as Eckhart Tolle likes to say.

So try and make the best out of it by being disciplined now!

8. Don´t wait for motivation, create motivation!

One sentence that just screams a lack of self-discipline is the “I just don´t feel motivated to do that”-excuse.

Listen carefully: Motivation is NOT needed for Self-discipline!

That´s what self-discipline is all about! To push through although you do not feel motivated.

Nobody cares if you are motivated. What matters is if you are disciplined enough to get the job done.

However, if you are motivated, you do not need to be disciplined as much.

To use that knowledge to your advantage, you need to be able to create motivation and to self motivate you.

Figure out what gets your spirits up. Is it listening to Eminem? Maybe you need to watch some motivational YouTube videos. Or you merely need some motivational Pinterest quotes.

In that case, I recommend you to check out my Pinterest boards. I have a ton of motivational and inspirational quotes there.

Whatever it is, get yourself motivated. Maybe put up some motivational quotes around your house, where you will see them during your daily routine.

And if all should fail, you simply need to be disciplined.

Nobody ever got anywhere by just putting in the work whenever they felt motivated.

9. Challenge yourself

Self Discipline is a muscle! The more we use it, the stronger it gets.

So make it a habit to challenge yourself every day. It does not need to be an enormous challenges. Something small like forcing yourself to take a cold shower or brushing yout teeth with the non-dominant hand is sufficient.

Just keep training that muscle a little bit every day.

This way, you can slowly start to build stronger willpower, and it will be easier for you to use it if necessary.

What about you, Felicity Seekers? Are you disciplined?

Has a lack of willpower ever been an issue for you in any area of your life?
Tell us about it down below!

11 Effective Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

Blog, Personal Development

Overwhelm is a feeling all of us have to deal with at some point in our lives.

If you are studying at university, especially if you are a Law student like me, overwhelm will probably be a recurring feeling.

Some of us feel overpowered by it and quit the source which creates the overwhelm. Others push through the feeling because they have to.

Wouldn’t it be more pleasant to deal with Overwhelm deliberately and to prevent it from hitting its peak?

To do just that here are 11 ways that will help you to deal with Overwhelm:

1. Write it Down

Overwhelm is often caused by too many thoughts running through our heads. We keep thinking about all the things we need to do and about random ideas that pop into our minds.

If too many of those thoughts swirl around our heads, we get anxious because we know we are going to forget some of them.

To prevent our brain from overloading with thoughts and information, we need to write them down!

For tasks or appointments, you need to create a To Do list. You don´t even need to look at it regularly and check it off, but knowing that you have written your tasks down somewhere will ease your mind significantly.

Of course, this hack isn´t something new. Many people benefit from To-Do lists nowadays.

However, I want to mention a different method of writing your thoughts down. Namely through journaling!

I know that journaling is somewhat of a controversial topic. Some people love it, and others hate it.

Personally, I never journaled. I always thought I wouldn´t know what to journal about. However, at the beginning of 2019, I felt this mental overload. My brain was swimming in ideas, thoughts, and emotions. I knew I wanted to write all of it down.

The first day I could only write down part of it. It had just been too much at once.

However, this first journaling session started a fun little challenge for me. I challenged myself to journal about something every single day for a week. Then it became two weeks. Then I forgot about the challenge and journaled daily for almost two months straight!

I use journaling as a braindump. Everything that occupies my mind that day is going to be written down.

In the beginning, I sometimes journaled for 2 hours! It´s crazy, I know. Now, at times I only journal for 15 minutes.

It has become very apparent to me, that my mind feels lighter. Through this outlet, I don´t have as many things occupying my thoughts. I feel more at ease and less stressed. And therefore I have less to journal about.

Of course, you do not have to journal daily or for a specific amount of time. But whenever you feel overwhelmed try to write those thoughts down.

Despite making you feel more relaxed, it also practices your writing skills. And anyway, what do you have to lose?

2. Have a system

While writing your mental chaos down is all well, it might result in some further confusion if you have no system for it.

You might write something down in that notebook, something in the other notebook, something on your phone and something on your laptop.

And then you always think that you should combine those notes, but by now they have become too many that it demands increasingly more effort to combine them. And now, that is your new source of overwhelm.

Again, I´ve been at that point. But I found an efficient solution for that, named Trello.

Trello is an online project management software. Because of its highly customizable collaboration function, many businesses use the paid version to plan and delegate tasks.

The good news is, Trello has a fantastic free version! I highly recommend you to check it out!

And here is how I use Trello. I created one big Board for my daily life.

Within that, I have one list for every single day of the week, a monthly list, a yearly list, an ideas list and a list for everything else.

Each list consists of different cards. And within a card, you can create Checklists and deadlines. Or you can add a tag to your card.

All those cards and lists can be moved around to your liking.

In summary, you can use Trello for literally everything you want to write down. I have a Bucketlist, a To Do list, a funny quotes list, a content list, a manifestation list, a list for everything that swirls around my mind and needs a place to be written down.

I recommend you to try it out, especially since it is free!

But should you not like to do it digitally, you can just as well create a system of journals and notebooks. The only essential thing is that you know exactly where everything is and that you can write your thoughts down as quickly as possible.

3. Break it Down

Overwhelm also stems from only looking at the big picture.

If I think about my graduation in a few years, I get anxious about the sheer amount of knowledge I need to absorb until then.

However, if I only focus on this semester or even better this month, this week, today, everything seems way more feasible.

So analyze what exactly it is that overwhelms you. Now, break it down into smaller parts. What do you need to do until that overwhelming event is finished?

Now, look at the first of these small tasks. Does that task still overwhelm you? If yes, try to break it down even more.

If you focus on accomplishing one task at a time, you can reach incredible things in a month or a year from now, and it will be less overwhelming.

Writing a single page a day might not seem like much. But within a year you will have written a 365 pages book! How amazing is that?!

4. Take a step back

Sometimes all we need to do is relax and take a step back from the situation. Making yourself crazy won´t get the job done faster.

Give yourself half an hour, an hour or a day, depending on what you feel you need and just relax!

Listen to some music, walk in nature, take a nap, dance or draw, do something that won´t occupy your mind as much.

After the break, your mind will feel refreshed and will be able to look for a practical solution on how to tackle the overwhelming situation step by step.

I know that our society always makes us believe that everyone is hustling non-stop. And of course, as a Felicity Seeker, I know you work very hard to reach success and live your life to the fullest.

While this is an admirable goal that separates you from most of our society, you need to remember that true Felicity comes from balancing all areas of our life. And that includes Self-care.

So don´t be so hard on yourself!

5. Focus on the Present

Another way to calm that feeling of overwhelm is to focus on the present. If you want to go deeper into this topic, I recommend you to check out my “The Power of Now” Book Review and Lessons.

One thing the book teaches is that overwhelm is caused by living in the future.

However, all we ever have is the present. Our lives consist of a series of present moments. And in the present, many of our “problems” do not exist.

Right now, there is no paper due. Right now, there are no five people that similarly are demanding something of you.

Look around you. What can you see?
Listen. What can you hear?
What can you smell?

Take a deep breathe in and out. Once you have your mind cleared from all worries and focused on the present, you can calmly redirect your focus to the source of your overwhelm.

With the knowledge in mind, that there is no real issue in this very moment, you can calmly search for a solution and tackle one task at a time.

11 Effective Ways To Deal With Overwhelm

6. Understand the source of your overwhelm

To overcome any problem, it is essential to figure out the cause of it. Finding the cause of our overwhelm can be effortless, other times it can prove challenging.

In those moments, journaling, meditating or taking a step back from the situation in general, can give you the insight you need.

Once you figured out what it is that stresses you, you can take active steps against it.

7. Figure out your patterns

This goes hand in hand with finding the source of your overwhelm. Chances are, the source of your overwhelm has caused you overwhelm multiple times before.

Is it that you always try to please everyone and can´t say no?
Do you lack self-discipline and always procrastinate until the last minute?
Are you bad at time management and think specific tasks take less time than they actually do?
Maybe you just need to clear up your cramped space.

Whenever you are about to make one of those pattern-like decisions, remind yourself of that horrible feeling of overwhelm.

You don´t need to fight the overwhelm if you can prevent it from spreading in the first place.

8. Be realistic

Having 25 tasks a day is simply too much! If you wake up in the morning and already see that massive amount of things, you need to accomplish, it is no wonder you feel overwhelmed!

Learn your limits and prioritize specific tasks.
Try to have only three high priority tasks a day. If you complete these tasks but nothing else you can still pat your back because those are the most important ones.

9. Give up Control

A lot of times we feel overwhelmed by having too many tasks on our plate at once. As mentioned before, you need to be realistic. There is no way, you can do hundreds of tasks all alone.

At the same time, of course, nobody expects you just to drop all the other tasks, if they are essential for e. g. your business.

Sometimes, we need to learn to give up control and delegate tasks.

Yes, other people might not put in the effort you do. Yes, they might not make it exactly the same way you do.

But you know what? They get it done! And that way, you can finally stop feeling overwhelmed and focus on your most important tasks.

10. Gratefulness

Gratefulness can destroy any form of negative emotion.

Of course, you can be grateful for everything in your life. But to beat overwhelm, try to be grateful for how far you´ve already come, for the tasks you have already completed, for the opportunity to be able to complete the tasks ahead.

And especially remind yourself of all the overwhelm you have already overcome. Be grateful for the strength it has given you and know, that you can overcome this situation too!

11. Take Massive Action!

In the end, all of the tactics mentioned above can only ease the overwhelm, but they won´t make it disappear.

The only way to overcome it is to take the necessary action. Do NOT procrastinate! It will make matters only worse!

Complete one task after the other. And before you know it, you will have achieved the very thing that overwhelmed you.

Bonus

Know that you are not alone.

Whether you know it or not, there is ALWAYS somebody else who feels overwhelmed with the same or a similar task like the one you have to do.

If you need proof for that, look up some Law Student quotes and memes ;D

In the end, no matter how overwhelmed you feel at the moment, know it will pass. Know that you will succeed in your task.

Because since you are reading this, Felicity Seeker, I know you are a badass achiever, who won´t let her/himself be stopped by anything in the pursuit of a happier life!

I believe in you Felicity Seeker! And it´s time you do too!

Yoga 101 – All the basics you need to know

Blog, Well-Being

What is Yoga?

Defining Yoga can prove a difficult task since it is a vast subject. But in essence, Yoga is about the union of body and mind.

Most people associate with Yoga a form of movement that is done with bare feet and on a Yoga mat. However, you can do Yoga pretty much everywhere and anyway you like.

The most important thing is to feel comfortable in your clothes and your location so that you can connect to your body in a more meaningful way.

Although many people only know Yoga as this physical practice, there is much more to it.

The practice of Yoga has been around for over 5,000 years. It was developed in India as a practice for physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing.

One of the oldest and most valuable documents on Yoga is the Yogasutra.

Today millions of people all around the world use Yoga as a way to enhance their life’s quality.

This page contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product through one of them, I will receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). I only ever recommend products that I have personally used and loved. Thank you for your support!

The Benefits of Yoga

This Enhancement is achieved through different benefits of Yoga. Yoga can …

lower your blood pressure
help with depression and anxiety
teach you focused breathing
help you center your mind
make you stronger and more flexible
make you feel more in tune with your body
make you sleep better at night
make you lose weight
nurture a happier mindset

Yoga Styles

This is only supposed to be a brief description of the different Yoga styles. I do plan on making separate Blog posts on them but for now, here is a quick overview:

Vinyasa Yoga
This style is currently one if not the most popular Yoga style. In Vinyasa you coordinate movements with your breath and flow from one pose into another.

Hatha Yoga
Although Hatha is a term that covers all of the Yoga styles, in recent years, it has become known as a slow-paced and easier practice.

Bikram Yoga
This style is designed to make you sweat! Bikram is all about practicing poses inside a sauna-like room, meaning it´s going to be hot and very humid.

Ashtanga Yoga
Ashtanga practices focus on breathing throughout an intense and fast-paced flow of poses. This style will make you sweat!

Power Yoga
This style is high paced, builds muscles and makes you sweat.

Kundalini Yoga
Kundalini practice is designed to use breath and physical movement to free energy and let it move through all of the seven chakras.

Iyengar Yoga
The Goal of Iyengar is to bring the body into alignment. To do that, blankets, blocks and other gears will be used. The different poses are being held for long periods.

Anusara Yoga
Anusara is about the philosophy of goodness of all beings. This philosophy is practiced through light Yoga with teachings about the heart chakra.

Restorative Yoga
This Yoga type is focused on relaxing your body and mind. A lot of the poses are slightly modified to be easier and therefore more relaxing.

Yin Yoga
This style is a relaxed and slow-paced practice. The different poses are being held for several minutes, which can help you find your inner peace. The practice is a form of meditation.

This list is not final. There are more Yoga styles out there, and new ones will be developed.

Yoga Equiptment

Although Yoga equipment is not necessary to do Yoga, different styles may encourage the use of some tools.

Yoga clothes (e. g. by Alo Yoga)
Yoga Mat (I linked the one I am currently using)
Yoga blocks
Blankets
Balance ball
Straps
Bolsters
Wheels

Is Yoga for you?

If after all of this information you are still not sure if Yoga is for you, let´s break it down.

The probably most common concern most people have before starting Yoga is that they think they need to be flexible.

While being flexible might allow you to do a bit more tricky poses, it really isn´t necessary to begin with Yoga. It´s quite the opposite, you become flexible through Yoga. I believe that´s one of the beauties of it.

At the beginning, I myself had been mediocre flexible. I was able to touch my toes and lay my hands flat on the ground, but I was rather bad at doing a straddle or anything fancy.

When I started doing Yoga consistently, I didn´t stress myself about my flexibility. I just enjoyed the practice for what it was.

Then I remember my excitement when I suddenly, for the first time, was able to touch the ground with my heels in downward dog. It just happened automatically through stretching consistently during Yoga!

So don´t let your flexibility stop you from doing Yoga. If anything let it encourage you! If you stay consistent in your practice, you are definitely going to see some improvements in your flexibility!

Maybe you´d like to do Yoga, but you think it´s all about stretching and that bores you. Now again, you couldn’t be further from the truth!

As mentioned above, there are so many different Yoga types. Some can make you seriously sweat, and are basically a cardio session.

But throughout Yoga in general, I believe muscles are more involved than flexibility.

Especially in the beginning, you can feel yourself shake a lot if you have to hold a pose for more extended periods. Warrior poses for example really need muscular thighs, if you want to keep them for a while.

I personally have been the weakest in my wrists. If I did pushups, I would always feel the pain in my wrists first before I´d feel it in my arms.

And there are a lot of poses in Yoga where you have to put weight on your wrists, downward dog is only one example. What I noticed, however, is that my wrists do get stronger through consistent practice. And I love to feel that development of my body!

When you try out Yoga for the first time, it´s important not to judge hastily. If you did a Vinyasa Yoga class and it was too dull for you, don´t just throw in the towel and think that Yoga isn´t for you.

It´s as if you try to learn French but don´t enjoy it and then just say “Nah, I guess speaking a language isn´t something for me.”

Yoga is an umbrella term. As listed above there are a ton of different Yoga styles, and it´s very likely that you will enjoy one of them.

Please, don´t get discouraged easily! Try out different things and do your research. If you find a Yoga type that you like, it can improve your life a lot!

Yoga Sources

In the end, all that knowledge about Yoga won´t bring you very far. You will only know what it is, once you´ve experienced it.

So, if that should have convinced you and you are now hot to start Yoga, I have some of my favorite Yoga Sources down below.

You can start practicing Yoga comfortably from your home just like I did. But sooner or later I recommend you to participate in a Yoga class with an instructor.

Online Sources

Yoga with Adriene – This YouTube Channel is my personal favorite! It´s how I started practicing Yoga. Adriene is absolutely sweet, and her dog just makes you grin whenever he sits on her Yoga mat. I recommend you to do one of her 30 Days Challenges. Her practices are easy to follow, and after 30 days you already will notice some improvement.

Sjana Elise has her own YouTube Channel with some Yoga practices, but she mainly inspires me through her Instagram. Check it out! It really makes you want to live the happy Yogi lifestyle.

If you are interested in the Yoga vocabulary, check out DoYogaWithMe

Books

Light on Yoga by B.K.S. Iyengar
Awakening the Spine by Vanda Scaravelli
Living your Yoga by Judith Hanson Lasater
The Tree of Yoga by B.K.S. Iyengar

Hope you enjoyed this quick Yoga 101!

Now what about you, Felicity Seekers? Do you plan on starting a Yoga practice or have you already got some experience? Comment down below!

If you still have doubts about Yoga comment them as well. Our community might be able to help you.

The 5 Love Languages Book Review + 5 Lessons

Blog, Personal Development

Synopsis

“The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is a #1 bestseller and has been translated in multiple languages. It is part of The 5 Love Languages Series.

After years of marriage counseling, Gary Chapman concluded that there are 5 Love Languages and that every one of us has one primary love language.

Through working with numerous couples, he realized how often romantic partners do not know how to love their significant other in his/her language.

Recognizing this as the main reason for the end of marriages, Chapman has set out to teach people about the different Love Languages so that they can create a long-lasting and loving relationship.

Review

“The 5 Love Languages” is a book everyone should read. No matter if you are in a relationship or not. It motivates to put in the effort necessary for a loving relationship.

Furthermore, Gary Chapman shows in different stories of couples he met throughout his marriage counseling years, that you can always reignite the love in your relationship.

In itself, the concept of the 5 Love Languages is stunningly simple. That´s why it is so surprising that most people have no clue what their own or their partner´s love language is.

Understanding each other´s Love Language makes it so that you can conclusively show your partner the love you feel for them. What could be more frustrating than not being able to make your partner understand how much you love them?

In the first years of a relationship, this principle of knowing each other´s love language might sound unnecessary. But if you aim for a longterm relationship, I believe this really can help you keep the love alive. And once you know how to do it, it´s straightforward.

So I´d say read the book! It might spare you some heartbreak and expensive divorces.

One thing I want to mention is that these 5 Love Languages are not just valuable for your romantic relationships. They also prove essential with your family, friends, at the workplace and with raising your children.

Lessons

1. There are 5 Love Languages:

1. Words of Affirmation

You can speak love by encouraging or affirming your partner.

Verbal criticism hurts people with this love language more than you might think.

Try to give them unexpected compliments through cards or text messages.

2. Quality Time

Spend uninterrupted and focused one on one time with each other.

You do not spend quality time with each other if you are watching TV at the same time!

Take at least a little time every day to spend with your partner. Put away your phone, turn off the TV. Maybe go out to eat something or take a walk. Going to the Fitness Studio together can be Quality Time as well.

3. Acts of Service

Doing things they´d like you to do speaks love the loudest for people with this love language.

Don´t ignore your partner if he/she complains about you not doing something. It´s a shout for help. They want to feel more loved!

Don´t just guess what they´d like you to do. Ask them for a list of things you could do around the house and then choose different things to do. For some people seeing their partner fold the laundry speaks love louder than a hundred kisses.

4. Receiving Gifts

Give your partner thoughtful and appropriate gifts.

Don´t just gift them something because you don´t want it.

Those gifts do not need to be huge or expensive. Pick up some flowers or make a handmade collage of some holiday pictures. You don´t need to find something for each day, but you should do it regularly.

5. Physical Touch

Physical Touch doesn´t just mean kisses, hugs or sex. Sometimes putting your hand on their shoulder or back is everything they need.

Don´t deny them physical touch and never EVER physically abuse them!

2. There is a difference between in-love and real love

Getting into new relationships, people usually fall “in love.” They are supremely happy and in utter bliss. Everything else in the world becomes meaningless in comparison to the love they feel.

You believe you will never fall out of love and that this is The One. However, falling out of love is natural.

Through studies the late psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov found out that the average “in-love” obsession lasts for about two years.

Now although that might sound depressing at first, it is a good thing. Can you imagine a world full of people who don´t take anything seriously anymore because of their love obsession? Businesses and states would crumble.

But does that mean that love is gone after two years, and you have to move on and find a new obsession? Absolutely not!

It just means that it is now time to pursue Real Love. And that leads us to the next lesson.

3. Love is a choice!

Now, this is good news because it means we can continue our relationship after the love obsession has faded away. Admittedly, it might sound unromantic but hear me out.

Every one of us has a “love tank” as Gary Chapman calls it. If your love tank is full, you feel loved and want to send out love too. If it is empty, you feel miserable.

Our love tank doesn´t need to be filled through a romantic relationship. Family, friends and to some extent pets can fill it too.

That is why you can feel happy and loved as a single. Especially children need to feel that love coming from their parents.

Now, how does our Love Tank fill up?

If people speak one of the 5 Love Languages to us, it fills our tank. However, especially our primary Love Language can make our tank overflow with love.

So, where does that lead us with choosing love?

If you know your partner’s primary love language and you want them to feel loved, all you have to do is choose to speak that love language.

And expressing it doesn´t have to come naturally for you. You hate cooking but your partner’s primary love language is Acts of Service, and she/he would like you to cook? Then cook! You are not the touchy kind of person but your partners primary Love Language is Physical Touch? You better start getting over yourself!

In the end, loving someone has to come voluntarily. You can´t just force your partner to speak your love language. But if you start to make them feel loved chances are they get happier and happier and in return want to make you feel loved.

So the key to a longlasting love-relationship is merely being willing to figure out your partners love language and to put in the effort to speak it regularly.

4. There are different Love Dialects

Just like every language has different dialects so do the 5 Love Languages.

While one person with Quality Time as their primary Love Language may want to have deep conversations with their partner, the other may want to do exciting activities together.

Again, the key is to listen attentively to your partner’s needs. Communicate with them. Find out what they want and then try to do just that.

5. Love changes your life!

It is commonly known, that love is an emotion to strive for. There are thousands of movies, books, and songs about the topic.

But despite love in itself being desirable, the side effects are also fantastic!

When you are in a loving relationship, you feel secure. You know that whatever should happen you always have somebody waiting for you, who has your back. Your partner and that security he/she provides might even encourage you to start your own business.

Love also raises your self-worth. If somebody loves you, you obviously must be lovable — this knowledge builds your self-esteem.

And lastly, love makes you feel significant. And we all strive for some form of significance in life.

Of course, there is much more to learn from “The 5 Love Languages“. Gary Chapman talks extensively about the different Love Languages. Therefore I recommend you read the book for yourself.

If you are interested into more inpirational books, check out my Reading List for Personal Growth, which I update regularly.

Law of Attraction 101 – All the basics you need to know

Blog, Personal Development

What is the Law of Attraction?

The Law of Attraction is based on the principle that like attracts like.

Meaning if you put positive energy out into the world through positive emotions, thoughts, and actions, you will receive the same positive energy back — the same works for negative energy.

Following this principle, you can manifest different things or events into your life by sending out the right energy.

Although the Law of Attraction has only become widely spread in recent decades and is therefore called a “New Age belief” it has a long history.

Already back in 391 BC did the philosopher Plato write “likes tend towards likes.”

I don´t want to dive too deep in history, but according to the Secret, there is evidence pointing to the law of attraction being used by Einstein and Beethoven.

Modern believers in the Law of Attraction are Oprah, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Will Smith, Jim Carrey, and Conor Mcgregor.

How the Law of Attraction works

There are three basic steps for manifestation:

1. Set an intention

First, you need to set an intention. You need to decide what exactly it is that you want to manifest. And I want to emphasize the word WANT. If you don´t really want the thing you are asking for, the universe will notice that, and it will become harder for you to attract it.

Let´s take this blog for example. I really want to manifest a successful online business that allows me to be financially free and provide the world with value. That is my intention.

2. Focus on sending out positive energy

After you decided on what you want to manifest you need to start sending positive energy out into the world. Because as mentioned before the basic principle behind the Law of Attraction is like attracts like.

Therefore if you want to attract a positive travel experience, you need to have positive energy around the topic of travel.

Manifestation happens when your thoughts, emotions, and actions are all aligned and send out positive energy.

And that makes sense, already Gandhi said:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

There are many different techniques on manifesting and how to align those three components. I will mention them down below and create different Blog posts on each of them.

Let´s look at this Blog again.

I use positive affirmations daily and do not allow myself limiting thoughts around my business. This way my thoughts have positive energy.

Then I also work to get my emotions in a positive state. I read about other peoples success stories and make vision boards showing my life once I have that successful business. Through all of that, I get really excited, and my positive emotions create strong energy.

But of course, you won´t attract anything if you just sit happily around, full of positive emotions and wait for it to happen magically. No, you need to put the work in, that is required on your part.

You need to take massive action directed at your goal of which you are absolutely sure it will happen.

Only because I created a blog and work on it every day, does the universe see how serious I am.

We probably all know some people who are all wishful thinking but do not put in the work. They won´t manifest their goal. Same goes for the ones that do put in the work but do not believe it is achievable for them.

Only when your thoughts, emotions, AND actions are aligned will the universe give you what you´ve asked for.

3. Let go! Have absolute faith

After you have set your intention and send out the right energy through your thoughts, emotions, and actions, there is one final and probably the most challenging step.

You need to let go!

In the end, the universe won´t deliver faster just because you overthink it.

In fact, trying to manifest it too much sends out a message of lack. If you are so very desperate to have it, you obviously lack the very thing you want.

And what did we learn?
Like attracts like. Therefore lack attracts more lack.

At a certain point, you need to let go of your manifestation. Have faith that it will come to you when the time is right and continue to send out positive energy but in a relaxed manner. Act as if you already have the very thing you are asking for.

Manifestation Tools

There are many different ways to practice the Law of Attraction. There is no right way to do it, and every technique can be equally powerful.

It all depends on which is better suited for you and the situation you want to use it in.

As I said before, I am planning on making a separate Blog post for each one of them. But for now, here is a quick overview:

Visualization
Scripting
Acting as if
Affirmations
Gratification
The two cup method
vision boards
evidence boards
crystals
sage
moon cycle rituals
55 x 5 method
…

Is the Law of Attraction real?

Now, I am aware that this all might sound very hocus-poky. But despite the many successful manifestation stories we can find online there is also scientific evidence for the LoA.

Over the years many different scientific studies have proven the power of positive thought. Just think about all those placebo cases. People manage to heal themselves by believing in the healing effects of placebo medicine.

Furthermore, Neurologists found out that for your brain it makes no difference whether you actually experience a particular situation or you just vividly visualize it. The brain activity is the same. And we all know that things become easier the more often you do them. So the more often you visualize yourself doing certain things, the easier it will get for you to actually do them because your brain already did it.

Psychologists have recognized the power of positive affirmations for a while now. That is also why all those life coaches always urge you to say positive affirmations. Millions of people have already discovered the power behind that.

However, should you still not believe in the Law of Attraction, I advise you to try it out. To be honest, I still don´t have as much faith into it as I wish I´d have. But practicing the basic principles has truly enhanced my life.

Of course, if this is your first time reading about the Law of Attraction, you won´t just become faithful after you read this post. But if you practice the principles and try your best, you slowly but surely start to see some small results, which begin building up your faith.

Just try it out. What do you have to lose?

In which ways can I benefit from the Law of Attraction?

Whether the Law of Attraction works for you or not, I believe there are multiple benefits to it besides being able to manifest things into your life.

Firstly, the Law of Attraction gets you to develop a more positive and powerful mindset in your day to day life. You´ll learn to feel so incredibly blessed by the things you have in life. And that drastically increases your happiness.

The Law of Attraction can make you feel more certain about your future and your path in life. It teaches you that you can achieve anything you want in life if you take massive action supported by the right emotions and mindset.

It also helps you to feel less lonely. The Law of Attraction makes you feel like the universe has your back, no matter what happens. That life happens for you and not to you.

Law of Attraction Sources

To bring this post to an end, I am going to list some of my favorite Law of Attraction sources. I am sure you are going to benefit from them greatly! Whenever I find more, I´ll be sure to list them here.

Books (Reading List for Personal Growth)

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
Ask and It Is Given by Abraham-Hicks
The Power Of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer
You are a badass by Jen Sincero
The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles
Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Movies

The Secret – Netflix

YouTubers

The Backlash against Underdogs

Blog, Personal Development

Today I want to discuss a feeling, which recently held entry into my life. From time to time I´m still struggling with it, and I hope that this text might help others who feel similar about the topic.

Now as you might already know since last year, I am very much into self-development. Half a year ago that passion broadened into entrepreneurship.

If you´ve ever been interested in those two topics, you probably know that they are very much interlinked and that many successful entrepreneurs are into self-development.

The internet contains endless information about the different entrepreneur habits, mindsets and success stories.

I want to focus on a concept inside this niche that I stumbled over time and time again — the concept of Underdogs.

Now, as I already mentioned there is a variety of different underdog stories out there. Stories about successful people with a competitive disadvantage. Of people who had a painful past but worked hard enough to make it to the top eventually and now inspire millions of people.

Those stories are meant to inspire us, to motivate us to pursue our dreams. We keep thinking “If they can do it so can I! They had it much worse. I already have a head start so why shouldn’t I be able to do it?!”

I am sure everyone has had that thought at one point in their lives. I am no exception to that. And that´s precisely the positive reaction those stories should evoke.

But as I continued to hear about more underdog stories of the successful people I look up to, doubts started to creep into my mind. I realized that seemingly ALL successful people had had a difficult past. They all had to face hardships at one point in their life.

Let´s look at some examples:

As a kid, Elon Musk had been severely bullied in school. He suffered beatings that left him with a jagged septum, and he even had to be hospitalized at one point.
One of the most influential women of our time, Oprah, had been sexually abused at only nine years old. Throughout her childhood, she had been abused and beaten, which led to her acting out and getting herself pregnant at just 14 years-old. Her child died within two weeks after birth.
J.K. Rowling, who gifted us one of the most incredible fictional universes that we have, struggled immensely before Harry Potter had its break-through. She was a broke, jobless single mom, who struggled with bouts of depression. Twelve of the major publishers all rejected her book, but she kept trying.

I am sure you know many more successful people, who had to overcome tough times in their lives.

In the last few months, I realized that even most of the somewhat successful YouTubers I follow have either struggled with anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, had been overweight, bullied, broke or even considered suicide at one point in their lives.

It came to a point when I started to feel like a tough past was mandatory for success in life.

Please don´t understand me wrong! Of course, I do not wish to have had their experiences in life. And I absolutely think that they deserve every ounce of success they worked so hard to achieve.

Still, it made me wonder.

I have never been bullied. I have never been over- or underweight. I´ve never been broke. I never had depression or anxiety. Overall I grew up in a loving family, had loyal friends and good grades in school. I have always been a happy person and enjoyed living life.

Of course, throughout the years I had to overcome a few difficulties but nothing you would call hardships ten years later.

So that raises the question:

Is success reserved to those who struggled hardest in life?

No, of course not.

If you search for them, you can find many successful people, who never faced such severe hardships.

Should you ever feel like your life has been too fortunate for you to be successful (it even sounds weird, doesn´t it?), search the internet for someone successful, who had a life similar to yours right now.

Trust me, on a planet full of 7.6 billion people there will be at least one person out there.

For me that means looking for law students turned into successful entrepreneurs. At this moment, my two inspirations are Mel Robbins and Lilia Kazakova from Lily Like.

And yes, those two have faced their own hardships along the way. But since they were law students like me, I feel like I am capable of doing what they did.

Another advice I can give you is to study your idols. Many successful people have published a biography in which they describe the hardships they faced throughout their life.

Read about it and learn!

Those people have traveled the arduous path and have learned valuable lessons that got them to where they are today. You don´t need to face those difficulties yourself. Internalize the lessons which took them years to learn.

Chances are you have faced some difficulties in your life that they never have and therefore you have made your own valuable lessons. Combine your lessons with those of your idols and you have a toolkid for success.

There is no single path to success and success is not reserved for one type of person. The only thing that counts is the effort you put in and the resilience you show.

So keep using these underdog stories for positive change in your life and never ever let them hold you back!