How To Not Let The Past Ruin Your Present | 8 Steps Technique

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We’ve all had moments where the past seems to cling to us like a shadow, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and even our present relationships. Whether it’s past relationships, painful events, or unresolved emotions, these lingering memories can have a significant impact on our current life. The good news is that it’s possible to let go of the past and move forward into a healthier, more fulfilling future. This blog post will guide you through an 8-step process to help you release the emotional baggage from past experiences and embrace the present moment with peace of mind. By letting go of past mistakes and negative thoughts, you can create space for personal growth and a beautiful future.

1. Find the root cause

If the blockage you want to clear is an uncomfortable memory you regret ever happening, then this will be very easy for you. Obviously, the root cause of the blockage is that very memory that keeps popping into your mind at the most random times.

However, if you want to clear a blockage in the form of a limiting belief or something you can’t even properly define, then this step might just be the most difficult one for you.

You need to dig deep and try to follow the bad feeling back to its root cause. What is the earliest memory you associate with this feeling? For example, let’s say you have the belief that money should only come from hard work and not through easy or unexpected streams of income.

That limiting belief might be traced back to you as a child overhearing your parents talking badly about ‘lazy’ influencers who don’t deserve to earn that amount of money without any ‘real’ work.

Or let’s say you keep putting in a lot of work over a long time but have disproportionately little to show for it. In this case, the blockage that’s keeping you from more success might be traced back to some memories from school or sports competitions where you scored less than others, even though you had put in so much more practice time.

Really take your time with this part of the clearing. When you come across the right memory that is the root cause of your blockage, it should feel right to you.

Should you not be able to find a memory that truly resonates with you as the source of the block you are dealing with, then simply use this memory for now. Over the next few days or even weeks, as you make it a habit to search for the underlying cause of every blockage you experience, you might just have the Aha moment you’ve been waiting for. But for now, do what you can with what you have. Every cleansing has its worth.

2. Visualize the memory and relive it in first-person view

Now comes the uncomfortable part. Instead of trying to repress the memory as you usually do, you need to let it play out from beginning to end. Don’t look at the memory as if you are a spectator.

You need to truly feel all the emotions that this memory evoked in you originally, and for that, you need to relive it in first-person view.

Yes, this is uncomfortable, but you can’t rush this process. The more you repress something, the more it preserves. 

To truly let go of a memory, you need to finish dealing with it. And reliving it is the first step for that.

3. Tell the people involved you forgive them

Once the memory has finished playing out and you’ve felt the corresponding emotions, it’s time to deviate from the original events.

As the next step, I want you to visualize yourself speaking to the people involved in this memory and tell them that you forgive them. Forgive them for their rude words, whether they were intentional or not. Forgive them for having laughed at you or for not having aided you. Whatever role they played in your memory, forgive them for that.

If you truly resent them for what they did, you might balk at the idea of bestowing them with forgiveness, even in thought. To truly bring up the emotions of forgiving someone, you might want to imagine all the ways they might have been hurt before that led them to behave like this. Or you could imagine them as a little child who doesn’t know any better.

4. Project your current self into the memory and watch it as a bystander

Next, I want you to switch perspectives and watch the memory again as a bystander. By now, the memory should already feel less uncomfortable to watch.

5. Tell your younger self you forgive them.

Once the memory finishes playing out a second time, you get to forgive your younger self for their part in the memory.

While some people hold grudges against others, other people keep blaming themselves for every little misstep. For this latter group, this step in the cleansing process is especially important.

Forgive yourself for not knowing any better back then. Forgive yourself for having made a mistake and acknowledge that you’ll do better in the future.

6. Tell them what you would have wished somebody had told you back then and give them a hug

As you forgive your younger self, you should also say all the things you wish someone had told you back then.

Things like: you are not the only one to make this mistake or have this happen to them, their words don’t impact who you are, you can always do better, mistakes are how we learn, this trauma has made you stronger than you ever were before, you are so brave for persevering the best way you can.

If you want, you can end the speech with a hug or a forehead kiss for your younger self.

7. Imagine your younger self dealing with the same situation with the knowledge they have now—in other words, turn it into an ideal version of the memory

Now that you have forgiven all the parties involved and heard all that you needed to hear to feel understood, supported, and loved, it is time to go through the memory one last time.

This time, you modify it so that it plays out in an ideal way. The memory becomes just one more memory that easily fades into the background and leaves no blocks behind.

8. Release the memory like a lantern floating into the sky

Lastly, you can end the cleansing session by releasing the memory and letting it fade. You can do this by imagining it floating up and away from you like a lantern floating into the sky.

Or you could imagine it being written on a paper, which you throw into the fire. Maybe an angel comes and takes the memory from you and flies away with it.

Whatever image works best to give you a feeling of release.

Letting go of the past isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most powerful steps you can take toward a better future. By confronting past trauma, forgiving yourself and others, and focusing on the present moment, you allow yourself to grow into the best version of yourself.

As you continue to practice these steps on a regular basis, you’ll find that old memories and past negative experiences lose their grip on your current life. Remember, it’s never too late to create a new beginning.

With each step forward, you’re not just letting go of the past—you’re making room for new opportunities, healthier relationships, and a more peaceful mind.

Good luck on your journey to letting go and embracing the now!