admin, Author at Striving For Felicity

101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think Book Review

I’ve finally come around to reading the highly recommended “101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think,” and here is my book review.

Book Review

101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest is basically like a collection of high-quality personal development blog posts. It was a nice and thought-provoking read full of great lessons. The main ones repeatedly appeared throughout the book, so they were really made to stick.

Lessons

1. Truly living means feeling all feelings to their fullest

If you were always happy, you wouldn’t feel happy at all because you wouldn’t be having the necessary contrast to sadness or any other negative emotion.

Being happy would just be normal. It would feel good but a bit ‘meh.’ Just like rich people get used to spending insane amounts of money without blinking an eye, you wouldn’t even see yourself as particularly happy if you didn’t experience the alternative.

Furthermore, your life would stagnate.

After all, besides chasing pleasure, the biggest motivator for many people is to escape the pain.

We don’t want to worry about money anymore, so we study hard to get a good job; we don’t want to feel restricted by a 9-to-5 lifestyle anymore, so we build a business, and we are sick of feeling ugly take care of our appearance.

Previously unimaginable amazing things have resulted from humans wanting a better life.

None of us would ever live life with our full potential if we always were happy.

So embrace your negative emotions as well!

2. You’re not meant to be happy all the time

“Negative emotions are good for you. In fact, maintaining a consistent experience of only “happiness”—or any emotion, really—would be a sign of mental illness.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“The goal is not to feel “good” all the time, it’s to be able to express a healthy range of emotion without suppressing or suffering.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“Happy people are not people who “feel good” all the time; they are the people who are able to be guided by their negative emotions rather than paralyzed by them.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“Pain is a signal that something’s wrong, suffering is what happens when we don’t heed it.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

There is a lot of talk in the online world about being a high vibe all the time. Some gurus sell their formula to a high vibe life to hopeful customers.

And many of those high vibe tips work … until they don’t.

You can’t avoid negative feelings forever.

Beyond the previously mentioned point that truly living includes feeling all emotions to the fullest, there is also another reason you shouldn’t suppress negative emotions.

They are making you aware of a problem you need to deal with.

The more you suppress your negative emotions instead of dealing with the root of them, the more issues will pop up in your life: anger management issues, anxiety, stress-induced health issues, etc.

Those negative feelings will persist the more you resist them. Instead, healthily deal with them, and if necessary, don’t hesitate to take advantage of professional help.

3. Life isn’t about goals but the person you become through the pursuit of them

“The point of hard work is to recognize the person it makes you, not what it “gets” you”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“Accomplishing goals is not success. How much you expand in the process is.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“The point of anything is not what you get from having done it; it’s who you become from having gone through it. It’s all about growth at the end of the day. “
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

Our society has become very goal-oriented. The internet is full of content that’s supposed to help you hustle towards your next big goal.

However, it’s actually not the actual achievement of the goal that makes the biggest difference in your life. It’s more about who you become during the journey.

If you learn to see the benefit in work in between and actually enjoy it, you will lead a happier life and be more at peace.

You won’t just live for the fleeting moment in which you achieve your goal and until you set sight onto your next aim. Instead, you’ll live for the process, as well.

4. Some of your dreams might break, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on a bright future

“Don’t confuse a broken dream with a broken future.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

Sometimes, we build this elaborate mental construct of our ideal life around this one dream scenario.

The longer you have this picture of your future, and the more you want it, the more it’s going to hurt when that bubble pops.

Teh sudden realization that this dream isn’t feasible can be dishartening and depressing.

It might take you a while to get over your loss of perspective for your future.

However, you should always remember that a future equally as good or even better is waiting for you to claim it.

Often enough, we end up idolizing our dream life without realizing that the actual day-to-day routine wouldn’t be ideal for us at all.

Luckily, there is always another, if not better, dream waiting for you.

5. Stop planning your happiness and start feeling it now

“You cannot save up your happiness; you can either feel it in the moment, or you miss it. It’s that simple.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

Anyone who is more prone to overthinking than spontaneous actions has probably postponed their happiness at least once in their life.

This can look like forcing yourself to watch a series more slowly than you’d like because you want to have something to look forward to in the next few days.

Or perhabs you have this really deliciously scented candle, and you want to save it for a ‘special occasion, but then it just ends up lying around for years instead of providing you joy now.

Trying to plan our happiness can rob us of the very thing we are trying to secure.

For example, often enough, the excitement of the series or with the candle might fade, and you don’t enjoy it later on as much as you would have now.

Or you even forget about it entirely.

There will be plenty of reasons for you to feel happy in the future.

Don’t act as if your happiness is a limited resource that carefully needs to be distributed across time.

Be happy now, first and foremost!

6. You should be living life and not just think about it

“Make sure you’re living more than you’re thinking about living.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

It is easy to fall into the habit of overanalyzing your life, especially as an introverted overthinker interested in personal development.

As such, we have to put a conscious effort into actually living life.

Stop creating all those Pinterest boards full of cute aesthetic cafés and instead take your laptop or book and spontaneously spend a few hours in one.

Stop planning out the perfect business idea in little detail and just start working on something.

And please stop obsessing over whether or not you’re ‘behind in life.’ Instead, take one step forward in a direction that’ll make you feel less behind.

You won’t remember all the things you’ve contemplated in life. What you will remember and be remembered for are the things you did. So start doing them!

7. Be careful to imagine your life as a synopsis

“You have to stop living for how other people will remember you. Stop living by telling yourself the story that you think other people will be happy reading.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

This book made me aware that I am guilty of viewing my life from the outside and as a synopsis.

Do you envy the impressive CV of successful people?

Do you imagine what your CV will look like one of these days?

And have you ever imagined how other people will introduce you?

If you do, you are also having a synopsis-like view of your life.

You can keep imagining your life’s synopsis if it motivates you but redirects your focus on your life from your own perspective if you get increasingly disappointed.

8. Your fear is not only a warning but also a guiding sign

“Not wanting to do something would make you feel indifferent about it. Fear = interest.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“The presence of indifference is a sign you’re on the wrong path. Fear means you’re trying to move toward something you love, but your old beliefs, or unhealed experiences, are getting in the way.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

Not every fear is a sign of danger. More often than not, fear is a sign that you are interested in something that lies outside your comfort zone.

To step outside your comfort zone, you might have overcome limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging habits or simply push yourself through it.

If you do that, you will experience immense growth, and your momentum will make it easier for you to follow other interests that have been appearing as fears.

9. Don’t let your past self dictate how you live your life today

“You owe nothing to your younger self. You are not responsible for being the person you once thought you’d be.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

“There is no way you will be able to predict or plan what will be happening in 5 years from now. If you can predict and plan for that, dream bigger. Try harder.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

My younger self of five years ago would have never been able to predict the kind of person I am today with all my interests and passions.

I’m sure to at very least a small extent, it’s the same for you.

So why would we think we can make a 5-year plan for our life that is guaranteed to make us happy?

You might dedicate your entire high school life to getting the grades necessary formed or law school because you’ve set it into your head that this is your dream career.

Does that guarantee you will like the college courses or the actual career? No!

So don’t force yourself to finish a 5- or even 10-year plan just because you are already a few years into it if you honestly hate it.

There is a fine line between stubborn persistence and foolish stubbornness; be careful what side you’re on.

10. Embrace your embarrassing past

“You’re supposed to be embarrassed of your younger self—really. It’s a mark of progress.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

Many people cringe when they see pictures of or hear stories about their younger selves.

They obsess over how they could have done better and why they did this or that.

But the thing is, back then, it was most likely the best you had to offer.

The fact that you could do so much better nowadays should make you proud of how much you’ve grown.

Focus on that instead of on the embarrassing thing nobody, but you obsesses over.

11. The things you love and hate about others tell you a lot about yourself

“You love in others what you love in yourself. You hate in others what you cannot see in yourself.”
– Brianna Wiest (101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think)

If you have a very strong reaction to people who interrupt others, perhaps that’s because you refuse to admit to yourself that you are prone to interrupting others as well.

If you absolutely hate women caked full of makeup, perhaps that’s because you don’t want to admit to yourself that you’d like to be able to make up as expertly as them (though not necessarily as much of it as them).

After all, if you don’t care about it, you would feel indifferent towards it.

Take your strong emotions as cues to find out more about you and heal your hate by finally admitting to yourself the things you’ve been keeping suppressed.

Comment down below on your favorite lesson from the book.

Until next time!

101 essays that will change the way you think book review + quotes

The Unfair Advantage Book Review | 11 Lessons + Quotes

Blog, Books, Business

Let’s see what we can learn from “The Unfair Advantage: How You Already Have What It Takes to Succeed”. Here is my book review.

Book Review

The Unfair Advantage gave me a much appreciated inspirational and motivational boost. While it didn’t teach me many new things, I very much enjoyed its realistically optimistic view on the startup world and the real-life examples.

It’s a great book for anyone thinking about starting a business or already growing a business.

1. Hard Work Alone Isn’t Enough

“Success in the startup world is not simply awarded to the hardest workers. It is awarded to those who develop and use their Unfair Advantages.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“It seems that the more successful people are, the more willing they are to admit that factors other than simple hard work played into their success.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“That’s how these statistical anomalies of mega-success are made: with a very large endowment of luck, and hard work ‒ and usually the hard work is something that comes easily to them because of their natural talent for it, as well as their passion and obsession with it, which means that they’re happy to put in the hours.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

There is a lot of talk in the self-help world that you only need to put in your 10,000 hours of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears, and you’ll be able to succeed.

Clearly, it’s not that easy. After all, there are plenty of hardworking poor people who amount to little in their life.

As much as we don’t like to hear it, luck plays a big role in success.

For example, I am lucky that I grew up in wealthy and post-war Germany, I have a supportive family, my state offers basically free education, and the university fees are next to nothing compared to other countries, I have access to a world full of online courses, books, and podcasts that teach you how to build a business, and luckily I discovered them while I was still young.

Of course, I won’t be successful if I just rest on all these unfair advantages.

My success very much requires hard work, and I am eager to put in the hours.

Still, I have to attribute any success that I’ve already achieved and will achieve in the future, at least partially, to all the lucky advantages in my life.

2. Privileges Alone Aren’t Enough

“Plenty of privileged kids amount to absolutely nothing.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

Before you get all depressed about your success not being due to hard work, you need to look at the other side of the coin.

Good fortune alone is also not enough for success.

There are plenty of spoiled kids that never have much success of their own because they are content to rest on the success of their family.

3. Every Unfair Advantage Is A Double-Edged Sword

“every disadvantage can have a corresponding advantage, and vice versa. Your circumstances and unfair advantages, whether apparently positive or negative, can be double-edged swords.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

If you grow up wealthy, you will never have a burning desire to earn a lot of money. This means a key driver for many people during the tough times of growing a business is missing for you.

Suppose you grow up always scoring A’s and everyone telling you how smart you are. In that case, you might not be inclined to educate yourself outside of academics because you already feel knowledgeable.

Going to an ivy league university can elevate your status in society and open new doors. However, it can also bring decades of debt.

4. Everyone Has At Least One Unfair Advantage

“An Unfair Advantage is a condition, asset or circumstance that puts you in a favourable business position. And yes, we all have unfair advantages.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

We have the tendency to always focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do.

Yes, tons of unfair advantages would be great to have. However, don’t sell yourself short; you have some unfair advantages of your own!

In my daily gratitude and self-worth practice, I take some time to appreciate a few things that are great about myself and my life.

5. Find People That Complement Your Unfair Advantages

“Always partner up with somebody with unfair advantages that balance out yours.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

Most unfair advantages can be acquired with time.

If you don’t want to wait, you should surround yourself with people who balance your unfair advantages.

As an introverted business owner, you might want to hire an extrovert to deal with marketing or customer service.

If you have a great business idea and the money to make it a reality but lack the skills, you should consider hiring someone with the technical knowledge to develop your vision.

6. Success compounds – the beginning is the hardest

“Just as with the ‘magic of compound interest’ which, when started early, leads to massive success over time, similarly unfair advantages and early success lead to stronger unfair advantages, and that success begets more success.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

The more unfair advantages you have to begin with, the easier it is for you to succeed.

By the time you’ve managed to succeed in your chosen pursuit, you will have gained new unfair advantages, which will, in turn, make your next success easier.

This is a very comforting fact. It means that you will never have to struggle quite as much as you do at the beginning of your journey.

7. You have to decide if you want a hyper-growth or a lifestyle startup

“Lifestyle startups are still intense, but not as intense as hyper-growth startups. They’re also not as binary in terms of huge success or total failure. They’re more likely to succeed, not likely to need funding and even less likely to make you extremely wealthy.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

It’s helpful to decide early on what kind of business you are going for because this decision will heavily impact your lifestyle.

A hyper-growth startup that aims to become a unicorn (1 billion dollars) is more grueling work, it requires investors or enormous savings, and it either succeeds or fails; there is not much in between.

By comparison, a Lifestyle business is great for someone who primarily wants to live a great life instead of sacrificing the living for the working.

You can run a lifestyle business as a one-person show if you want to; you can have moderate or even great success, yet most likely won’t become a unicorn, and you can start it from scratch and slowly but steadily scale it with its own revenue instead of bringing in investors.

Knowing what kind of business you are building helps you follow good advice and avoid business tips for people playing a different game.

8. Creativity is a crucial skill that can luckily be developed

“Creativity is largely about training your mind to connect things you learn in one domain to situations that seem completely unrelated. This is known as intersectional or interdisciplinary thinking.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“We all have creativity in us, and we can all develop our creativity ‒ it is a skill we can consciously work on.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“One way to improve creativity is to increase your interdisciplinary knowledge: learn from areas and fields of knowledge, and other industries, that are completely different to what you already know. You will learn a lot and develop mental models that are more diverse and that will allow you to think more laterally.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“Once you have attuned yourself to thinking in this interdisciplinary way, and learned to look for pain points and solutions, you’ll find that ideas come easily. You might even be inundated with them.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

We often talk about creativity as if it were a set trait that we are either born with or not. We say, ‘I’m not a creative person just like we say ‘ I have brown eyes.

Fortunately, the truth is that creativity is inherent in every human, and it is simply a matter of how much we’ve developed it.

Creativity is a skill that is becoming increasingly important in a world full of technology that is capable of replacing us in many ways.

9. You don’t want to be the first business to enter a new market

“Being too early or the first to market is bad because you have to educate your potential users and customers about the benefits.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“Consider that it may actually be worse for you to be the first in any industry. All these businesses learned from the failures of first-movers in their respective fields.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

Many people interested in starting a business never actually get around doing it because they tell themself that the market is already saturated.

When I started my blog, I also worried about my competition which has been around for much longer. I always envied those who were lucky enough to be the first of a new trend.

That’s why it was eye-opening to hear about the downsides of being the first business in a new market.

Ideally, you will enter a market that is already interested in what you have to offer, and you already have a few competitors to analyze for what’s working and what isn’t.

Beyond that, always keep in mind that whatever you have to offer, as long as you do it authentically, you will be unique and stand out amongst the competition.

Furthermore, the longer you are working in this specific market, the more ideas you will get beyond what others are offering.

10. Your ideas are much more likely to succeed if your unfair advantages are aligned with them

“It’s very important to bear in mind which ideas you have unfair advantages in.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

You might have a business idea for a product for parents that’s objectively brilliant.

However, if you are not a parent, don’t talk much to parents, and don’t interact with children, you will have a much harder time getting that business off the ground than someone who has insight into your target audience.

That’s why especially for your first business when you most likely don’t have the financial means to bring in experts on the topic, you should choose something that aligns well with your unfair advantages.

For example, I started a personal development blog (with a bit of blogging content).

I have the unfair advantage of insight and expertise in this area because I am consuming personal development content myself. I have done so for some time to have the relevant knowledge to share from my own experience.

In which area do you have unfair advantages?

11. Finding a new and unique idea is overrated

“First of all, ideas are overrated. Yes they’re important, but there are countless people all over the world having the same genius ideas at the same time, and the overall conversion rate from idea to successful startup is close to zero. Second, it’s a myth that they need to be completely unique and new to be successful. Most startups are either a twist on an idea that already exists, or the implementation of the same idea but in a new market or industry.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

“If you simply start paying attention to successful businesses, from unicorns to successful traditional companies, you’ll notice that it’s not usually the case that the idea in and of itself is ground-breaking. It’s more the execution of it, including leveraging a lot of unfair advantages to succeed.”
– Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba (The Unfair Advantage)

So many people are scared of starting a business by the competition they encounter.

They think: There already are so many personal development blogs, beauty bloggers, food delivery services, etc., I don’t stand a chance if I start one of my own.

If you look at the history of the most successful businesses, however, you will be surprised to discover that many of them didn’t have such a groundbreaking new idea.

Instead, they worked on an already existing idea and simply executed it much better than before.

One way to better execute your competitors is by having more unfair advantages that help you with the endeavor.

Especially insight into the target market, which ideally comes from being part of the target market yourself, is helpful.

So don’t get discouraged from trying your hand at an already existing business idea.

Well, what do you think about The Unfair Advantage? Did the lessons excite you to read the book yourself? Or did you already read it?

If so, share your own favorite lessons with your fellow Felicity Seekers. After all, we learn best by teaching.

Until next time!

11 Uncomfortable Realizations You Will Have During Self Improvement

Blog, Personal Development

Intentionally developing yourself is powerful, but not all sunshine and rainbows. Here are 11 uncomfortable realizations you will have on the path of self-improvement.

Read also: Drop out

1. Noticing Your Lack of Passion

Looking at other people and seeing how passionate they are about their careers or hobbies is very uncomfortable if you lack that passion.

You suddenly notice that you are doing things just because you thought you should do them.

But there is no deeper joy or feeling of fulfillment behind your actions.

If you are also not striving towards something that’ll make you feel more passionate, it can make you wonder if you are living life the right way at all.

2. Being Incredibly Envious of Others

As you improve yourself, you become aware of all the things you want: Financial Freedom, Confidence, Passion, Deep Friendships, Unique Experiences, and more.

This awareness can bring an intense feeling of envy whenever you encounter someone who has those things.

Noticing your envy will be an especially uncomfortable realization if you have been acting negatively on it.

Envy is not inherently bad. In fact, it can be a powerful source of inspiration that guides you towards things that are meant for you.

However, envy can become toxic if you get lost in it and try to bring down the people it applies to.

3. Feeling alone and distanced from friends and family

Before you dedicated yourself to personal development, you grew at a similar pace and direction to the people around you with whom you share many experiences.

As soon as you start dedicating your time to self-improvement, you jumped off the designated track and forged your own path.

Somewhere along the way, you will make the uncomfortable realization that you have distanced yourself quite a bit from the path your family and friends walk on.

You don’t have the same interests and mindset anymore and struggle to understand them or find shared conversation topics.

You suddenly realize how alone you are on your self-improvement path, and you crave new close friends.

4. Questioning your religion/beliefs

Many of our beliefs are shaped in childhood through our family and society.

Developing yourself means questioning those beliefs and, at times, having the uncomfortable realization that they are ill-founded and require change.

5. Feeling ashamed of your faults

Have you ever looked back on your past actions, past outfits, or past writing and felt embarrassed by it?

Back then, you might have been doing your best, but you could do much better nowadays since you’ve grown.

This feeling of regret can turn into painful shame if you weren’t even doing your best, but you’ve only now become aware of your faults at work.

You’ll need to work through this shame and forgive yourself while also ensuring you’ll be better the next time around.

6. You realize you haven’t lived much yet

There are more things to do in this life than you’ll probably ever have time to do.

That’s why it can be an especially uncomfortable realization to notice that you are basically spending every day the same way.

You realize that you are not living life to its fullest despite that being your wish.

But at this point, it might seem hard to break out of the patterns you’ve created, and you might also currently lack the financial means to experience your bucket list.

7. You realize the goals you’ve been chasing won’t satisfy you

You’ve spent all this time, effort, and these tears pursuing goals that you were sure would make you happy.

But then, through the course of your self-improvement, you learn more about your values in life, and your goals change.

Suddenly, you are faced with the uncomfortable realization that you’ve been wasting all this time and effort on an empty shell of a goal.

You have to work through the pain and redirect your focus better later than never when this happens.

8. You feel like you’ve wasted a lot of your time

Now realizing the power of self-improvement, you regret not having started sooner.

It feels like you’ve wasted a lot of time being a lesser version of yourself and chasing the wrong goals.

9. You don’t know your future self and shouldn’t force a decision on it

Some students decide early on that they want to become a doctor/lawyer. They put a gruesome amount of effort into school so that they can go to med/law school later on.

After years and years of effort, they finally get to med/law school only to realize that this is not what they expected it to be.

But they’ve already invested so much into this dream, so many students keep going.

Fast forward a few decades, and many find themself stressed and passionless in a demanding job that sucks out their lives.

The lesson here is that you should be wary of following through on decisions you made a long time ago.

I’m sure five years ago you would have never been able to guess the kind of interests and passions you have nowadays.

So why would you expect yourself to make decisions that you will still be happy with five-ten years down the line?

Doing something just because your past self thought it’s the right thing to do is almost the same as letting your life be directed by a stranger.

Yes, you might need to abandon your current trajectory, but that is still far better than ending up somewhere that makes you unhappy.

10. Your success relies on luck as much as on hard work

Nobody likes being told that they got lucky with their success. Especially not when they did indeed put in the hours of hard work to reach their goal.

Still, somewhere along the line, as you get over your limiting beliefs and amass more and more success, you will accept the uncomfortable realization that luck has aided you.

You’ve grown up in the right place at the right time, been granted an education, a supportive family, and relative financial stability that many people on this earth do not have.

I know I’ve also gotten incredibly lucky to discover a podcast when I was 19 that introduced me to entrepreneurship and a very affordable online course.

And that’s only one small stroke of fortune that probably altered my life forever.

But don’t worry, I am not telling you that all of your success is down to luck. Plenty of people grew up extremely privileged but amount to very little in life because they don’t put in the hard work.

Success requires both hard work and luck!

11. Living life to the fullest requires suffering

Nowadays, the online world is always talking about being high vibe and positive. Especially in the law of attraction community, there is the misconception that you need to be happy as much as possible to attract your dream life.

Let’s be real for a moment. If you felt happy all the time, you wouldn’t feel happy at all.

What even is happiness? We can only really define happiness in comparison to negative emotions.

Our moments of darkness make the light all the much sweeter.

Perhaps even more important is the immense motivation we get from painful times.

Why would you want to go through the trouble of becoming a better self if not to stop feeling incapable, useless, underaccomplished, stressed, sad, burned out, and passionless?

Humans are more strongly motivated to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.

So as uncomfortable it is to realize that you will never live a perfectly happy and content life all the time, at least you are now in a position to appreciate your life for what it is.

This uncomfortable realization will ironically lead to more gratitude and happiness. You will feel less disappointed when your chase for ultimate happiness inevitably fails. And you will be kinder with yourself when you can’t uphold the unrealistic standard of being high vibe all the time.

Don’t aim for happiness. Aim for gratitude and the realization of your potential!

Do you have any further uncomfortable realizations to share with your fellow Felicity Seekers?

What has been the hardest realization you had to accept?

Until next time!

11 uncomfortable realizations you will have due to personal development

35 Signs You Have Leveled Up in Life | Signs of a Glow Up

Blog, Personal Development

In the ever-changing game of life, the journey towards personal growth and self-improvement is a continuous adventure. Each day presents new opportunities to level up, transforming into the best version of ourselves. But how do you know when you’ve made significant strides on this path of progress? Look for the signs; those subtle yet powerful indicators that reveal your transformation. From shedding old habits to embracing new experiences, these signs signify that you’re on the right track. In this blog post, we explore 35 such signs of leveling up in life, shedding light on your ongoing journey towards becoming the best version of yourself. You’ve come a long way from where you started, and it’s time to celebrate your personal growth.

Level Up/Glow-Up – What does it mean?

Leveling up in life, often referred to as a glow-up, signifies a profound transformation and personal evolution. It’s not just about physical changes or superficial improvements; it’s a holistic journey toward becoming the best version of oneself.

A glow-up represents a shift in mindset, embracing self-love, confidence, and self-awareness. It involves shedding old habits, negative thought patterns, and toxic relationships, while actively pursuing positive growth and development.

This process encompasses various aspects of life, including mental and emotional well-being, relationships, career, and personal goals. It’s about stepping out of one’s comfort zone, setting clear intentions, and working diligently to achieve them.

A glow-up is not an overnight occurrence but a gradual, continuous effort to enhance one’s life, embracing new experiences, challenges, and opportunities along the way. Ultimately, it embodies the empowering journey of self-discovery and self-improvement, leading to a more fulfilled, confident, and authentic version of oneself.

Why Should You View Life as a Video Game?

Viewing life as a game where you can level up can be an incredibly motivating perspective. It instills a sense of purpose and direction, much like playing a video game where you work towards achieving objectives and overcoming challenges.

This gamified outlook on life encourages setting clear goals, embracing new experiences, and continuously improving oneself. It adds an element of excitement and adventure, making even the most daunting challenges feel like epic boss battles that need conquering.

Moreover, seeing life as a game allows you to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and provides a tangible sense of progress and accomplishment. It fosters a positive mindset, encouraging you to stay engaged in the real world and avoid distractions.

In essence, approaching life as a game where you can level up can infuse motivation, enthusiasm, and a greater sense of fulfillment into your everyday experiences.

Signs You Are Leveling Up In Life

1. You don’t get stressed/upset over some things anymore

Sometimes you come across a situation that you know would have bothered you endlessly had it happened a year ago.

Interestingly, though, right now, it doesn’t feel like much more than a fleeting thought.

This is one of the surest signs that you have leveled up. You are now capable of handling challenging situations in a stride.

2. You notice self-sabotaging habits in others

As you spend time with personal development content and you overcome your own self-sabotaging habits, you develop more and more expertise around the topic.

Unsurprisingly, this results in you starting to notice the speech patterns or actions of the people around you that are like a big warning sign for toxic habits.

It can be very difficult to keep yourself in check and not try to provide help to people that do not want to better themselves.

3. You notice your own excuses and negative thoughts

Another sign of leveling up in life is a heightened sense of self-awareness. You notice many of your recurring bs more easily and call yourself out on it as much as possible.

4. Habits you’ve struggled with are suddenly an indispensable part of your day

When I started working out regularly, it was a struggle to convince myself to do it three times a week.

Then suddenly, after months of more or less forced consistency, I noticed that I had fun doing a workout not only three but five days a week.

And months later, that turned to do either a workout, yoga, or a long stretching session every day of the week.

As much as I had to force myself initially, now, my day feels lacking if I don’t do my morning workout/yoga/stretching. Once I realized this change, I knew I had leveled up in life.

I am looking forward to the day when I’ll have the same realization with my meditation practice. I am still struggling to keep it up.

5. Your goals have changed

Children have very different goals than teenagers and college students.

As our mindset changes and knowledge increases, we look at life differently and aim for different things. That doesn’t change with becoming an adult.

If you actively focus on improving yourself, you can expect your goals to change in accordance. New goals are a sign that you have leveled up in life.

6. Your confidence is recovering after it plummeted

Growth is rarely a smooth ride. It often comes with the realization of your own faults and lack of skills or knowledge.

These realizations can deliver a nasty punch to your confidence and self-esteem.

If you are an ambitious person, this can be a good thing because it gets you to work even harder on bettering yourself.

As you see yourself improve in these sore areas, your confidence will recover along with it.

7. Previous interests don’t fascinate you as much anymore

Realizing that you’ve lost passion for something you used to be obsessed with and that provided you with so much joy can be sad.

However, it also indicates that it served its purpose and that you live life at a different level.

Get excited for the new passions you’ll discover.

8. You’ve finally made an important decision and gotten rid of the shiny objects distracting you

It is not a rare occurrence to find yourself faced with a difficult decision and tons of shiny objects distracting you from moving forward.

Finally, making that decision and moving forward with your life in a determined and focused manner is a sign you have leveled up.

This could happen if you choose your college degree, a job or finally commit to one of the million side hustle possibilities.

9. You finally do the things you’ve procrastinated on only to realize they’re much easier to do than expected.

Procrastination is keeping us stuck in life.

As soon as we are ready to move forward and break the blockage holding us back, we have leveled up in a small way and will most likely discover that this task is much easier than anticipated.

10. You don’t feel as close anymore to some of your friends and family members

As your mindset, goals, and approach to life change, you will struggle to connect with the people around you that have stayed the same or changed in a different way.

This doesn’t mean you can’t love them and spend time with them still.

But you probably will crave new close connections with people that understand you.

11. Things you’ve heard before suddenly hit you deeply

Have you ever wondered why books that some people describe as life-changing get rated two stars by other people?

Sure, different people have different interests and tastes. But beyond that, people experience things differently depending on their mindset, previous knowledge, and experiences.

A book that you see as boring rubbish today might be incredibly eye-opening for you in a few years.

Conversely, a book that you experienced as life-changing five years ago might make you cringe today.

A sure sign that you have leveled up in life is for you to experience things differently than before.

12. You think a lot about how to save time

A common sign of leveling up in life is being more intentional about how you spend your time.

You now have different goals, interests, and priorities that you want to spend your time with.

Therefore you are less tolerant of wasting your time in any way. This is why you think a lot about time-saving alternatives.

13. You answer personality quizzes more honestly

Personality quizzes are fun, but we can also easily manipulate them. We often know what kind of result we want from a quiz – most likely the result in the form of the personality we wish we had and therefore admire in others.

This doesn’t always align with our current personality, so we more or less unconsciously bend some of our answers in our favor.

When you have leveled up in life, you are more aware and accepting of your character traits and habits. You are more at peace with yourself.

As a result, you will answer personality quizzes more truthfully and feel more aligned with the result you get.

14. People notice that you’ve changed

Some people might compliment you on your new attitude and energy. Others might feel triggered by your change and criticize you for being stuck up.

Either way, it’s a sure sign that you’ve leveled up in life.

15. You feel like you’ve come out of the darkness and into the light

Leveling up is rarely an entirely smooth and comfortable ride. Instead, you will often level up through difficult times. As the saying goes: it’s always darkest before the dawn.

So if you feel like you finally can breathe again and see a bright future ahead of you, that might be a strong sign that you have reached your next level.

16. You’re willing to step out of your comfort zone

A readiness to embrace discomfort and tackle new challenges is a powerful sign of leveling up. It signifies your commitment to personal growth and your dedication to achieving your goals. You recognize that the real changes happen outside your comfort zone, and you’re ready to venture into new territory.

17. You’re more engaged with your daily routine

A heightened awareness of your daily activities and routines indicates mindfulness and a desire for improvement. You’re no longer coasting through life on autopilot; you’re actively engaged in your daily rituals, seeking to make the most of each moment.

18. You’re setting clear goals

Establishing specific, achievable objectives is a sign that you’re on a path of purposeful personal growth. Your goals are like quests in a video game, driving you toward a higher level in life. You’re no longer content with vague ambitions; you’ve set your sights on clear targets.

19. You’re open to learning new skills

A willingness to acquire new skills and knowledge reflects your dedication to self-improvement and adapting to new challenges. Just like a video game character gaining experience points, you’re constantly leveling up your skill set in real life.

20. You’re better at forming and maintaining relationships

Improved interpersonal skills and the ability to nurture meaningful connections signify personal growth. You understand the importance of better relationships and invest time and effort into maintaining them.

21. You’re comfortable with gradual progress

Acknowledging that significant change is a gradual process shows your patience and commitment to lasting transformation. You’re no longer seeking quick fixes; you’re in it for the long haul.

22. You’re more focused on your mental and physical health

Prioritizing your mental and physical well-being demonstrates a commitment to a healthier and more balanced life. Your daily routine incorporates activities that nurture both your body and mind.

23. You’re more goal-oriented

Setting long-term goals and taking steps to achieve them is a clear sign of personal growth and increased ambition. You’re not just dreaming; you’re actively pursuing the best version of yourself.

24. You’ve developed a more positive mindset

Cultivating a positive outlook on life reflects your evolving perspective and personal growth. Your mental health receives the same attention as your physical health, further enhancing your overall well-being.

25. You’re exploring new experiences

A willingness to embrace new adventures and challenges suggests a thirst for personal growth. You’re open to new ways of thinking and new experiences, expanding your horizons with each opportunity.

26. You’re shedding old habits

Letting go of unhealthy behaviors and adopting positive habits is a significant sign of personal growth. You’ve recognized that these old behaviors no longer serve you, and you’re actively working to break free from them. Getting rid of bad habits helps you to reach a new level much faster than by creating new habits.

27. You’re taking the next step in your career

Advancing in your professional life is an indicator of personal growth and development. You’re not simply maintaining the status quo; you’re pushing your career to new heights. This doesn’t necessarily mean going for a promotion. It can also take the form of quitting your job entirely and starting over somewhere else.

28. You’re more engaged in real-life activities

Reducing time spent on distractions like social media or video games and increasing real-life engagement shows your commitment to personal growth. You’re now living life at a higher level, focusing on what truly matters.

29. You’re setting clear boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries in your relationships and daily life is a sign of self-awareness and growth. You understand the importance of maintaining balance and protecting your well-being.

30. You’re pursuing your passions

Actively engaging in hobbies and interests you’re passionate about is a strong sign of a glow-up. These activities feed your soul, contributing to your overall sense of fulfillment and self-improvement.

31. You’re working towards bigger goals

Setting ambitious, long-term goals and taking steps to achieve them signifies your dedication to personal growth. You’re no longer content with small achievements; you’re dreaming big and taking action to make those dreams a reality.

32. You’re maintaining a good morning routine

Prioritizing a productive morning routine indicates your commitment to starting each day on the right foot. Your morning habits set a positive tone for the rest of the day, ensuring you’re making the most of your time.

33. You’re achieving real changes

When you see tangible, positive transformations in your life, it’s a clear sign of personal growth. You’re not just talking about change; you’re actively making it happen.

34. You’re embracing the journey

Recognizing that personal growth is an ongoing process and not a destination reflects a mature perspective. You’ve come to understand that it’s the journey, not just the destination, that truly matters in the game of life. This frees you of the desperate longing for a bigger and better life.

35. You’re feeling more empowered

As you level up, you’ll feel a growing sense of empowerment and the ability to shape your destiny. You’re no longer a passive participant; you’re the hero of your own

In the ever-changing game of life, the journey towards personal growth and self-improvement is a continuous adventure. Each day presents new opportunities to level up, transforming into the best version of ourselves. But how do you know when you’re going in the right direction? Look for the signs; those subtle yet powerful indicators that reveal your transformation. From shedding old habits to embracing new experiences, these signs signify that you’re on the right track. Many successful people have undergone a similar transformation.

In this blog post, we explore 35 such signs of leveling up in life. You’ve come a long way from where you started, and it’s time to celebrate your personal growth.

Did you recognize some of these signs in yourself? I am curious to hear what you think!

Until next time, Felicity Seeker!

15 signs that you have leveled up in life

13 Things That Change When You Fall In Love With Life

Blog, Personal Development

Why should you fall in love with life? What changes when you fall in love with life? Here are 13 changes you can expect and look forward to.

1. You love the process at least as much as the goal

When you fall in love with life, you realize that there is always another goal to chase.

You don’t fall into the trap of believing that your happiness lies on the other side of your goals.

Instead, you appreciate the process towards your goals.

You celebrate the tiny victories along the way, and you are proud of how far you’ve already come.

2. You love luxury not ‘just because’ but due to the feelings and experiences it provides

Many people crave luxuries because of the wealth they seem to represent. They want to have the newest, most exclusive, or most expensive thing because it flashes that they’re ‘in’ and ‘rich.’

There is nothing wrong with that as long as you don’t let this craving for recognition overcome you.

When you fall in love with life, however, you view luxury differently.

You are way too busy loving your life to care about whether or not others perceive you as rich and cool.

Instead, you care about what those luxuries can do for you – the experiences, comfort, and opportunities they provide.

You don’t want to fly first class just because it makes you feel cool. You fly first class because you appreciate the comfort it provides you over the clouds and because it enables you to enjoy those few hours in confinement the most.

3. You want to experience it all

When you fall in love with life, you are eager to take in all the wonders life has to offer.

While chocolate, cheese, or wine enthusiasts love to taste their way through different flavors, you like to taste the different flavors of life.

4. You find joy in the things that annoy others

Others groan over dentist appointments; you look forward to them because of the clean and cared-for feeling you have afterward.

Most people hate Mondays; you see them as the start to another great week full of awesome opportunities.

Others curse at the train that breaks down; you are excited about this small adventure in your ordinary routine.

5. It pains you less when one door closes because you know another will open

It is common for people to be immensely bitter about the ‘bad’ cards that life deals them with.

And if you look for these unlucky cards, you will find plenty of them in the form of a missed job opportunity, a bad teacher, an accident, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, etc.

When you fall in love with life, you learn to appreciate your luck and your misfortune. You won’t necessarily enjoy it the moment it strikes, but eventually, you will.

That’s because you know that with every closed door, a new one will open.

You recognize all the times a closed-door has lead to something way better in your life, and don’t just write it off as coincidence like others do.

You are grateful and wait patiently for that better door to open, and meanwhile, you continue to love life.

6. You are less willing to stay in situations that make you unhappy

Don’t like that college major? Change it!

Hate that job? Quit and do something else!

Unsatisfied with romantic or social relationships? Plenty better people out there waiting for you!

When you fall in love with life, you recognize that better opportunities are waiting for you to take hold of them.

7. You passionately work on improving yourself and your life in every possible way

Different opportunities await you at varying levels of personal growth.

You are eager to unlock the wonders of life that come with a better self and work passionately on your personal development.

Getting rid of anxieties and limiting beliefs makes life brighter and easier.

8. You value your health but not to the extent that it keeps you from living

You take care of yourself to make sure you are mentally and physically capable of living life to the fullest.

You eat healthily, work out and talk to specialists if necessary.

However, you don’t miss out on a great meal in a unique location because it would break your healthy diet plan.

You also don’t give up that sport you like so much because it has a moderate risk of accidents. Instead, you make sure to take every precaution necessary.

Overall, you find that sweet spot that enables you to live not only a long but also an exciting life.

9. You allow yourself to follow your gut instead of strict logic

Your gut instinct or intuition is one of the most wondrous things in life.

If you hear it out, it can help you make decisions you would have never thought of and make your life more magical.

10. You value what you do have every day

Most people are always chasing for more: More money, more luxury, more holidays, more recognition, you name it.

When you fall in love with life, you notice the beauty that already surrounds you.

You make sure to be grateful every day for the life you are currently living and every opportunity that will present itself to you in the future.

There is less desperation in the chase for your goals.

11. You are your own priority

Others may call it selfish, but you realize that you can only truly help others if you are at your best.

Furthermore, you love life too much to play the martyr for other people’s happiness.

Here is some help on making yourself your priority.

12. You gossip less

People who are busy being in love with life rarely have time for the trivialities of gossip.

Of course, it can be entertaining once in a while. But many use the drama that surrounds other people to distract themselves from their own life.

When you fall in love with life, you won’t feel the need for this kind of distraction. Instead, you like to put all your energy into living your own life.

Just as much as gossip, social media is often used as a very powerful distraction from life.

When you fall in love with life, you’ll likely notice a rapid decrease in your phone usage.

This stems from a simple lack of time and change in priority. You are so engaged with living your own life, that in the few moments of boredom, social media might not take precedence in the ways to fill that time.

You might use social media increasingly, though, as a content creator. After all, this is one of the many things you can try out in life, and who knows, it might turn into a money-making passion of yours.

That’s it.

What do you think? Would you say you are already in love with life, or could you fall harder?

Which of these changes are you most excited to experience?

I’d love to hear from you!

Sophie

13 things that happen when you fall in love with life

Stealing Fire Book Review | 11 Lessons + Quotes

Blog, Books, Personal Development

Stealing Fire introduces the reader to the discoveries having been made about Flow states. Let me share with you a few lessons in my book review.

Book Review

I love reading about interesting studies and discoveries, and this book is full of them! Stealing Fire gave me a glance into the groundbreaking work going on to enable people to enter life-altering Flow or Enlightened states quicker, easier, and safer.

My excitement was a bit dampened by the frustration that a lot of this incredible technology is still not readily available to the average person.

However, if you are interested in boosting your productivity, personal development, and experiencing out-of-body states, this book will get you excited for the near future. You can also expect to be challenged in your beliefs on the topic of psychedelics.

Lessons

1. Letting your subconscious mind take over can make teamwork much more effective

“That heightened cooperation, that communal vocational ecstasy, was what Page, Brin, and so many of Google’s engineers had discovered in the desert. It was an altered state of consciousness that suggested a better way of working together, and a feeling that anyone who presumed to lead them simply had to know firsthand.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

Teamwork can be difficult and exhausting unless the team is used to working with each other like a smoothly running engine.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to skip large parts of this ‘getting-used-to-each-other’-process by putting the whole team into an altered state of consciousness, which makes the lines between individual members and the team as a whole blur together?

The SEALS already spend a ton of money and time training their soldiers to flip this switch during a mission because it dramatically enhances the whole team’s performance.

2. Being ‘in the zone,’ doing mythical rituals, and taking psychedelics all cause a state of Ecstasis

“First, flow states, those “in-the-zone” moments including group flow, or what the SEALs experienced during the capture of Al-Wazu, and the Googlers harnessed in the desert. Second, contemplative and mystical states, where techniques like chanting, dance, meditation, sexuality, and, most recently, wearable technologies are used to shut off the self. Finally, psychedelic states, where the recent resurgence in sanctioned research is leading to some of the more intriguing pharmacological findings in several decades. Taken together, these three categories define our territory of ecstasis.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

That’s one of the first and most crucial lessons I’ve taken from this book.

You’ve probably heard athletes, artists, or business people all gush about the productivity they experience when they enter a flow state.

You’ve most likely also heard spiritual people talking about seeing visions during prayer or experiencing a feeling of ‘oneness’ in meditation.

And lastly, think about the ‘high’ that countless humans have been chasing for centuries through drugs, plants, glue, and numerous other psychedelics.

In all these cases, people are experiencing very similar states in which the self vanishes, time seems endless, insights flow through them, and everything feels effortless. They are experiencing ecstasis.

The fact that all kinds of different humans have been hunting and recommending this state for millennia shows how important this experience can be for us.

And fortunately, there are countless ways to enter ecstasis, with technology and science continually providing more effective and safe methods.

3. The guesswork, grind, and risks to get into flow are over!

“Historically, if you wanted to use meditation to consistently produce a state where the self vanished, decades of practice were required. Why? Because your target was nothing more than a peculiar sensation, and hitting it was like throwing darts blindfolded.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

I am immensely thankful for all the technological advancements that have provided me with this beautiful and opportunity-rich life.

And reading about the upcoming technologies that will enable me to enter flow states in a fracture of the time and risk it took my ancestors is humbling.

I can’t wait to make use of this altered state!

4. Being in Flow is freaking POWERFUL

“By using the tanks to eliminate all distraction, entrain specific brainwaves, and regulate heart rate frequency, the SEALs are able to cut the time it takes to learn a foreign language from six months to six weeks.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“And it doesn’t seem to matter which technique we deploy: mindfulness training, technological stimulation or pharmacological priming, the end results are substantial. Consider the gains: a 200 percent boost in creativity, a 490 percent boost in learning, a 500 percent boost in productivity.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

I’ve been pretty much drooling when I’ve read these passages.

I mean, seriously, how AMAZING would life be if we managed to access flow at will?!

If we were able to learn things so much faster and be so much more productive and creative all around, can you imagine what you would be able to accomplish? What would humanity collectively be able to accomplish?

This is insanely amazing!

If I could, I would build myself a Flow room with a deprivation tank, brain stimulation tools, and more this instant.

But as it is, I am currently only eyeing the MUSE meditation headband.

5. Even just one experience of Ecstasis can change your life forever

“And when Britton examined the EEG data, she discovered why: the brain-firing patterns of her subjects were completely altered. It was as if the NDE had instantly rewired their gray matter. Sure, it was only a single experiment, but it did suggest that even a one-time encounter with a powerful altered state could impart lasting change.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“So while ecstatic states (which are brief and transitory) aren’t the same as developmental stages (which are stable and long-lasting), it appears that having more of the former can, under the right conditions, help accelerate the latter. In short, altered states can lead to altered traits.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

This is an incredibly reassuring and motivating realization for me.

I think I am so used to taking small steps that accumulate to big results that the thought of doing something once and benefitting from it for a lifetime is bewildering – but also immensely hopeful.

It makes me want to reach ecstasis even more.

6. Ecstasis can be kinky

“Pleasure produces endorphins, but pain can prompt even more. The uncertainty of teasing, as Stanford’s Robert Sapolsky established, spikes dopamine 400 percent. Nipple stimulation boosts oxytocin. Pressure in the throat or colon regulates the vagus nerve, creating exhilaration, intense relaxation, and goose bumps, what Princeton gastroenterologist Anish Sheth memorably terms poo-phoria. “
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“And momentary erotic transcendence can bring lasting change. “
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

Kinky sexual practices have long been shunned by society. Thankfully, in our post-50-shades-of-grey time, more and more people dare to be kinky in the bedroom.

They discover what practices like tantric sex have been teaching for a long time: Sex is not just pleasurable for the body, but done in the right way can also elevate your mind to new planes.

Isn’t it awesome to know that something as fun and stimulating as sex can give similar results to months of meditation practice?

7. Most adults don’t reach higher stages of personal development

“He discovered that while some adults remained frozen in time, a select few achieved meaningful growth. Right around middle age, for example, Kegan noticed that some people moved beyond generally well-adjusted adulthood, or what he called “Self-Authoring,” into a different stage entirely: “Self-Transforming.””
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“While it usually takes three to five years for adults to move through a given stage of development, Kegan found that the further you go up that pyramid, the fewer people make it to the next stage. The move from self-authoring to self-transforming for example? Fewer than 5 percent of us ever make that jump.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

I’ve always known that if I consciously focus on my personal development, I will be living a happier and more successful life than most people.

But this passage of the book showed me just how true that is.

I can’t bear the thought of missing out on so much of my potential by staying stuck in a general adulthood stage of my life.

I always want to be growing, and this just motivated me more to do so.

8. Don’t underestimate the impact of your physiology on your emotions!

“Our facial expressions are hardwired into our emotions: we can’t have one without the other. Botox lessens depression because it prevents us from making sad faces. But it also dampens our connection to those around us because we feel empathy by mimicking each other’s facial expressions. With Botox, mimicry becomes impossible, so we feel almost nothing at all.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“If simply standing like Wonder Woman for a few minutes is enough to produce meaningful changes in our hormonal profile, imagine what practicing a full sequence of yoga postures every morning would do.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

You’ve probably heard the recommendation that standing in superman-pose for a few minutes can make you feel more confident.

But did you know that something as simple as smoothing out wrinkles with botox can heavily impact your emotions?

I had no idea. Looking at people with their stiff botox faces, I always thought they were doing more damage than good. But knowing that the impact goes much deeper than just aesthetics is incredibly eyeopening!

It shows that we shouldn’t just focus on our thoughts but also on our posture and movements.

Try to integrate at least one habit focused on improving your physiology every day. Maybe for you, that’s yoga, or perhaps dancing.

9. Ecstasis can cause ego inflation

“Rather than deciding, “Wow, I just had a mystical experience where I felt like Jesus Christ!” they conclude, “Wow, I am Jesus Christ. Clear the decks, people, I’ve got things to do!””
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“Psychologists call this reaction “extreme ego inflation.” Often, the experience of selflessness is so new and compelling that it feels like no one else has ever felt this way before—that it’s evidence of some kind of sacred anointment. “
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“no matter what comes up, no matter how fantastical your experience, it helps to remember: It’s not about you.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

Since ecstasis provides such a life-changing feeling that is only slowly being discussed openly, it is somewhat understandable how some people may feel like they have been chosen by some greater power to share what ecstasis revealed.

To prevent such ego inflation, it helps to do some research on other people’s experiences while in ecstasis. Nowadays, you can find websites like the Hyperspace Lexicon that include the most common experiences people have while in ecstasis.

If you notice that thousands of people have received an Akashic Book full of profound wisdom, you quickly realize you’re not the chosen one after all.

10. There is no right or wrong ecstasis tool

“Those three parameters—risk, reward, and time—provide a way to compare nonordinary states. This sliding scale lets you assess otherwise-unrelated methods—from meditation to psychedelics to action sports, to any others you can think of. “
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

You have to decide for yourself what tools for ecstasis are a good choice for you.

You have to consider the factors risk, reward, and time to make a decision you will be happy with.

Personally, I am currently not willing to pay the risks that come with taking psychedelics to get into a state of ecstasis. So, even though that can be a very quick way to bring big results, it’s not the right tool for me.

You might be completely opposed to the idea of spending 10 minutes or more a day meditating. Instead, you like high-risk action sport and going to Burning Man.

That’s ok, it’s your decision to make, and luckily we have many choices.

11. Great power can be misused and requires a lot of responsibility

“And that’s the ultimate paradox of these states: all that liberation comes with an unavoidable dose of responsibility. While these states provide access to heightened performance and perspective, the upsides come at a cost. Between our own wayward tendencies and the dangers of militarization and commercialization, it’s easier than ever to fall asleep at the Switch.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

“Altered states are an information technology and what you’re after is quality data. If you spend all of your time blissed out, zenned out, drunk, stoned, sexed up, or anything else, then you’ve lost all the contrast that initially made those experiences so rich—what made them “altered” in the first place.”
– Steven Kotler, Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire)

As with every great discovery, there is plenty of opportunities to use it for harmful causes.

Especially the military and marketers are likely to use ecstasis to make their targets/customers do what they want.

Furthermore, we are in danger from ourselves that we overuse ecstasis and lose our grip on reality.

To counter both the dangers posed by others and our own desires, we need to know what ecstasis is and be responsible for how we use it.

You can do this by planning your use of ecstasis beforehand with a timetable. You can schedule daily (e.g., meditation), weekly, monthly, and yearly activities (e. g. Burning Man visit) that let you experience ecstasis in a controlled, effective, and safe manner.

And if the time comes, you might cast a vote for a politician who aims to regulate marketers’ use of ecstasis.

Just be aware and intentional.

That’s it for my Stealing Fire Book Review.

What was your favorite lesson? Have you experienced ecstasis before? If not, how do you plan to get there?

I’m curious to hear from you!

Sophie